Wêrom Haw ik Skriuw dy yn foar Married So Jong?

Juster makke ik in lette nacht halte oan de winkel om nim in pear dingen en ik hie in tige nijsgjirrige petear mei de kassa. Wy makken lytse Oerlis as se skend myn items, en doe se bea my in koarting kaart, mar ik sei tsjin har myn frou al hie ien. Dat is doe't de petear krige fun. Ik wit dit petear al te goed, want ik haw hie it in protte kearen foar. It giet wat as dizze ...

Persoan: Wat!? Do bist troud?

My: Ja ik haw al troud foar twa en in heal amazing jierren.

Persoan: Hoe âld bisto? Jo sjogge as in poppe.

My: Ik bin tweintich trije.

Persoan: Jo binne sa jong! Wêrom yn 'e wrâld soene jo dwaan dat?

My: Wêrom woe net ik?

Yn 2009, Ik krige troude op 'e amper wetlike en amper respektabele leeftyd fan tweintich ien jier âld. Tidens myn ferkearing, ferloving, en koarte houlik, Ik haw it frege tiid en tiid wer fragen lykas, "Wêrom get married sa jong? Wat is de rush?”, en myn persoanlike favoryt, "Jo moatte hawwe wachte en genoaten fan dyn libben!”

Guon fan de folks freget dizze fragen wiene frjemdlingen, mar guon wienen famylje. Wie ik gek om troude op sa'n "jonge” leeftyd?

No lit my jaan dy trije redenen ik besletten om troude doe't ik die.

1. Ik moete in goddelike frou

As in achttjin jier-âlde freshman in bibel kolleezje, Ik wie net aktyf op syk nei in frou, mar God seach fit te yntrodusearjen my ta in jonge frou nei syn hert. Se wie moai, mar mear wichtiger se ús Jezus. Sy wie bewust dat se wie in sûnder yn ferlet fan Gods genede, en hja hie in beskieden, teachable hert. Wy einige op it diel fan 'e deselde tsjerke, dus ik krige to watch har tsjinje, groeie, en trou jouwe har tiid oan oaren. Ik begûn te praten oan myn binnenste sirkel oer har. Myn freonen, mentors, en foargongers alle oerienkommen – se wie in goddelike frou. Ik koe sjen mysels rinnen mei har en leafdefolle har foar de rest fan myn libben.

2. Ik wie klear

By dizze tiid ik begûn te tinken oer de werklikheid fan it houlik en wat it betsjut om commit sels oan immen foar in libben. Ik frege mysels oft of net ik wie folwoeksen en ferantwurdlik genôch. Ik socht troch de Skriften en tocht oer de taken fan in man, en prate mei troude freonen en mentors. Nei in soad fan gebed en petear, myn mentors en de foargongers yn myn tsjerke fertelde my se tocht ik wie klear om te stribjen har. Ik wie optein. Mar ik woe net hawwe neistribbe har as ik tocht ik wie net ree om geastlik liede har, soargje foar har, en te wêzen de holle fan in famylje.

3. Houlik is in segen

Earst ik fielde as ik moast bewizen oan de naysayers dat trouwe jonge is ok soms. Mar doe't ik seach yn 'e Skriften ik net fine stuff as, "Marriage is lyk oan dea! Flechtsje út it!” of, "Put houlik ôf oant jo kinne net sette it út mear,” of, "Allinnich trouwe as jo binne te âld om te genietsjen fan it libben,” of, "Litte wy him it fjild foar in skoft en dan pick de bêste ien.”

Ynstee ik fûn kommando lykas, "Flechtsje fol lust”, en ik lies trochgongen as Spreuken 18:22 dat seit, "Hy, dy't fynt in frou fynt in goede saak en kriget geunst fan de Heare.”

Sa as minsken sizze, "Wat hie jo om troude sa jong?” myn nije antwurd is, "Jo binne freget de ferkearde fraach.” Ik tink oan 'e woartel fan dy fraach is de oanname dat houlik steals wat wei fan my, as myn jeugd wurdt verspild yn ynsette offer leafde as it koe brûkt wurde foar casual wille en flakiness.

Houlik is in moai geskink fan God! It is in middel fan genede. Ik fûn in frou, en dat is in goed ding. Ik wit net iens mei de logika dat seit, put off Gods rykste seinigingen sa lang as jo kinne. Ynstee Ik soe sizze genietsje Gods goede jeften en Steward se foar Syn eare.

Dat is net te sizzen dat eltsenien moat get married doe't ik die. It soe gien kwea as ik soe hawwe besocht om trouwe foardat ik wie klear. Guon fan ús hawwe moatte mature mear, en oaren fan ús nedich om te bidden foar tefredenens en fertrouwe de Hear en syn timing. Myn doel is net om te sizzen dat de jongere jo get married, de mear hillige jo binne. Ik krekt wol te dispel de myte dat wy moatte toevje folwoeksenheid en mar rekken houlik ien kear wy binne tritich of âlder.

Gjin spyt

Lêste nacht op twitter immen frege my oft ik regret getting troude sa jong. Myn antwurd? Absolút net.

It is ien fan de bêste besluten ik ea makke. Ik bin lokkiger en hilliger as ik wie twa en in heal jier lyn, en dat is in goed ding. Ik wol net oan om it liket as ik bin wat super seldsum anomaly. Ik wit genôch fan folks dy't troud krekt as jonge of jonger as my. Se te seagen houlik as in jefte en se ha sjoen de frucht fan dy jefte. My en myn frou kin jong no, mar ik bidden om genede te leaf myn frou goed oant it ein fan ús libben. Oant dan wol ik hearrich de wiisheid fan 'e Spreuken en "bliid yn' e frou fan myn jeugd.”

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92 comments

  1. Jannon FitzpatrickAntwurdzje

    Ik respekt net iens mei Kevin Ferere. Jo kinne net witte wat leafde is oant jo witte wa't God is, want God is Love! De Bibel net sizze neat oer dating om of interacting mei oaren te finen dat men. Yn feite, Izaäk layed op op Rebecca en wist se wie it ien foar him. Hy die net datum om of praat nei Leä oan sa as se wie better sa soe hy witte oft of net Rachel wie echt wat er woe of net.

    It praten fan myn eigen ûnderfining, Ik die date oaren en fûn wat leafde wie net. Net allinnich út myn eigen relaasjes, mar fan myn âlden’ en susters’ relaasjes. It probleem wie, se waarden net relaasjes basearre op it Wurd of Gods leafde en dat is wêrom't se net work out. Ik die fine in goddelike man, dus it kin wurkje út de wei, dat jo sizze, Mar ik fan herten leauwe dat as ik soe hawwe wachte en bewekke myn hert út dy oare relaasjes dy't net rjocht foar my, Ik soe west hawwe yn in folle better en minder brutsen posysje, te recieve myn man út in goddelike frou fan perspektyf earder as in brutsen frou fan perspektyf mei baggage oan it wurk troch.

    Gjin disrespect bedoeld, mar ik leau dat is in foar it grutste part ferkeard deken ferklearring dat koe echt steer jonge herten yn 'e ferkearde rjochting. (Google ynformaasje oer godly dating vs. Modern Dating. Der is wat echt goed guod yn dêr.)

    • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

      Jo ek bewiisd my rjocht. De Bibel kin sizze wat er wol, mar jimme binne ûnderfinings binne allegearre jo te gean út fan. En hwa't jimme neame God komt út in bekroaning fan wat jo leard en jo ûnderfinings. Oan it ein, wat jo leauwe is in kar, mar wat jo witte wurdt oplein op troch wurklikheid.

      en yeah, de ferklearring kin in bytsje algemien, mar it moat nommen wurde mei in kerltsje sâlt, as yn alles.

      • Lokelani70Antwurdzje

        Ik ek respekt net iens mei Kevin Ferere.
        De iennichste ding dat is bewiisd is, dat jo hawwe makke in gewisse beslút net te libjen jo libben foar God troch syn wurd, de bibel. Yn betinken nommen dat, wy hawwe makke it beslút om te libjen ús libben yn in goddelike houlik, troch Gods wurd. It feit fan 'e saak is, one will not have the complete understanding of this blog if God is not put first in one’s life.
        Praying for ALL marriages! God seinigt!

        • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

          I’ve made a conscious decision to find God for myself and not by what someone has taught me. Don’t worry, I used to be just like you.

          • AC

            I’d just like to say, you can’t find God. The bible said we’re dead. Dead people can do nothing. God finds us.

        • Lokelani70Antwurdzje

          Oh… I’m so sorry Kevin, you must be confused. The God I serve is not a God of self-seekers. Worrying is not the will of God, but loving eachother as much as He loves us is! Like I wrote previously, putting God first is what is needed to COMPLETELY understand this blog, as your reply proves my point. May EVERYTHING we say and do be pleasing to God. God Bless en hawwe sels in amazing jûn.

        • Fru-Mukete ArnoldAntwurdzje

          hahaha, bliuwe seeking, jimme sille fine Him- remember skepping ferriedt Him ek. Yn feite, Ik ll jou dy in trick, krekt pick de Bibel en gean smyt it as in ferhaal boek opskriuwen alle oanspraken dat makket en sels memorizing se Doe, check út oare boeken en ferlykje de oanspraken. Mar seker jo sille nedich immen te lizzen dy plussers, net fêsthâlde werom sûnt jo binne in seeker fan 'e wierheid.

        • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

          As jo ​​leauwe yn God, safolle as jimme sizze jo dogge, wêrom jo fiele de needsaak om te bewizen Him sa folle? Ik net oan God, want Hy is yn my. Ik bin Him en Hy is my. Mar ik bin sorry, jo kinne net begripe dat kinne jo?

        • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

          My bad, typo: *I don’t have to prove God.*

          But the comment means what it says. Whatever is within you, that is what you are. Don’t be afraid to accept that truth just because you’re taught that it’s wrong.

  2. Addis HunterAntwurdzje

    100 % with you! I too met my husband at 20 and a year later we were married. I have had to have the same conversations with random strangers, family and friends and I want to encourage you to stay faithful to the Lord and your lovely wife in every way that is discribed in the word. My husband and I are now 30 years old and when I tell people I’ve beenHAPPILYmarried for almost 10 years they GASP!!! “Really”?? Making the same vague comments of “fergrieme ús jeugd” etc. etc.. Mar GOD hat west sa barmhertich en goed foar ús, dat ik kin útdrukking yn wurden hoe sillige Ik bin oan haw mei myn man doe't ik die. Wy love reminising op ús kolleezje jierren tegearre, en dreamt oer al de greate dingen dy't it libben hat foar ús foarút! Wy hawwe 2 moaie famkes en in baby jonkje op 'e wei (dat wy humbly bidde foar dit jier en God jûn) , (atually ik bin troch hjoed ;-))..en wy couldnt wêze mear wis dat It wie in Devine uny fan God te bringen ús byinoar.

    Fansels, wy binne NOT perfekt (hoewol't myn freonen lykje te tinken sa om't wy dont stean de mienskiplike wrâldske problemen fan unfaithfulness, disrespect en konstante ûnienigens), mar wy hawwe mieningsferskillen, stimmingswikselingen, finansjele dificulties etc, it ferskil is dat wy Rely op God te liede ús stappen, wy respektearje inoar en besykje ús bêste om nea ferlieze FAITH, kommunikaasje, en sykje begelieding út de hillige geast as in pear en individually..My man is de meast unike yndividu Ik haw ea moete en wy beide begripe dat de kaai ta lok yn in houlik is net yn dwaan of buying “dingen” om eachother lokkich mar wittende wa't wy binne yn Kristus, folgjende Syn geboaden oer houlik en Loving inoar absolút, likefolle fan ús gebreken of hoe't wy may “fiele” op dat stuit , wittende dat lok sil altyd in tydlike emoasje dat giet fuort, mar wier JOY pas komt út de Hear.

    Ik winskje dy en dyn frou jierrenlang fan Marjanne JOY!!!
    I Love jo muzyk te troch de wei ;)..

  3. joshAntwurdzje

    Reis,

    Jo binne in grut foarbyld foar jonge kristenen dy't wolle forhearlikje God yn 'e wei se behannelje froulju! Dankewol! Ik krekt krige dwaande, bin 22, en sjogge út nei tsjinne de Heare in houlik foar de kommende jierren!

  4. Johnny_renteriaAntwurdzje

    Leau it of net, mar ik krige troud oan 'e leeftyd fan 18. Ik wie yn gjin wei klear te wêzen in man yn 'e finansjele sin en ik wie al in heit. Mar ik hie krekt joech myn libben oant Kristus en ik wist dat de froulju wie ik mei soe wêze de iene waakse mei my. Minsken freegje my deselde dingen as goed. Ik fyn it tryst al dat houlik wurdt sjoen as in minne saak. Hjoed, Ik wie tinken oer dat en ik kaam ta de konklúzje dat de minsken hawwe wurden sa egoïstysk dat de gedachte fan nimmen ferantwurdlikheid fan in oar persoan hast ûnmooglik. Houlik is net oer wannear't en wêrom't jo troud mar oer dy't midden om dat houlik. En it moat wêze kristus…

  5. deborahAntwurdzje

    ik tink u r rjochts trip..i hawwe in frnd dy't troud @ 19 (se HV is troud 4 6 yrs NW)n lkng @ har no wy realisearje apart fan it akseptearjen Kristus yn har libben dat is d bêste beslút se hat ea makke….al ik moat tajaan ik bin net klear 2 get married..it schrikt my cos ik wol net 2 wurde heakke 2 d ferkearde persoan 4 d rest fan myn libben, mar ik wit Jezus sil nea lit my meitsje d ferkearde kar…ek ik soms ôf y get married doe't ik krije alle ik wol fan Jezus n hy kin nea BRK myn hrt?….ur beslút wie rjocht n i GV u thumbs up 4 dy't!:)

  6. lance PetersonAntwurdzje

    Geweldich. My son also got married 2 1/2 years ago to a wonderful godly woman and they were both the ripe old age of 19. Your story reminded me of them.

  7. Brandon ClementsAntwurdzje

    I love this Trip! I got married at 22 and I absolutely love my marriage. It’s funny because I just had a similar conversation with a gas station attendant about a month ago. She pulled the whole, “Why get married when you can have the milk for free?” question and my heart broke for her. Then I went on to tell her that my wife was not a cowthat she was awesome and I love her.

    Tankewol foar it dielen!

  8. Louib2001Antwurdzje

    Praise the Lord for you brother and your lovely wife of your youth. I pray that the Lord will pour favor continuously throughout your life, because you have obeyed his word. I am 28 and have been married now for almost two years and my wife and I have a happy marriage and a lovely 10 moth old baby. I always wanted to get married younger, but I believe it wasn’t time yet for me until the Lord brought my good thing almost 5 jierren lyn (to be precise we met on the day we got born again 31 dec 2006). I did not know we where destined to be together as I took her as an ordinary sister from church. I was also concentrating on my spiritual growth, but three years ago my eyes opened and the rest as they say is history.

    It is in Satan’s agenda for people not to be married, so that they live in sin and we already know what will happen. Have we looked at the rate of divorce in the body today? How about brothers and sister fornicating in the church, because of what society dictates.

    If we look at how our cities are filled with youth violence today, do we take a moment to think of some of the root causes? The moment man exchange Godly values for circular ism all this fell apart. Even Christian parents are ignorantly promoting circular ism by discouraging their children not to get married young (at the age of concern obviously). The reasons are I quoteyou need to get an education, maybe when you finish your masters and have a decent job, then start to think about marriage”. That sound wise doesn’t it ? So what happens when your Christian child is goes to university and then moves in with boy/girl friend whose either Christian or non?

    Please do not get me wrong(that’s just some of the things I have come across), because the above statement does not apply to all. Education is very important as one acquires knowledge for their respective profession so they could work and provide for their future families etc, but marriage wont stop one from succeeding in what ever area in life one chooses to follow, as a matter of fact a marriage in general promotes growth i.e great ministry, good heath, wealth and the list goes on. Remember the two becomes one flesh and can chase 10 000 wow, that means that in agreement what ever they ask God faithfully they will attain, awesome…..

    In close I would like to suggest that we as Christians start teaching our children at a young age on the importance of first living for God and secondly the importance of marriage( to those who’ve been given the gift) so that they grow up wanting to please God in this area. Once again well done my brother and to all those living the word of God. Stay blessed.

  9. AnnaAntwurdzje

    This really spoke to me. Ik bin 21 in a relationship and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that I’mtoo young to be thinking about settling down”, I should wait tolive life first”, finish school and establish a career before I enter courtship/marriage. You have an amazing and inspiring testimony. I wish you and your wife a lifetime of blessings and happiness together!

  10. anonymousAntwurdzje

    I am 20 and have never been in a relationship so I’m not going to be married by 21 but I definitely respect your logic. I always have the mindsetto each his own”. I think you and your wife will definitely go the distance and I’m so proud of the steps that you took prior to marriage. It looks like both of you took the committment very seriously, which I applaud.

  11. Tony DoyleyAntwurdzje

    Very blessed to read your blog about marriage at an early age. My wife got married at 18 and we have been happily married for 10 years now. Sure we’ve had some ups and downs, but I believe God has guided us steadily all these years and now we are stronger than ever. Thank you for your amazing testimony.

  12. KLE PhotographyAntwurdzje

    Congrats on your young marriage! My husband and I went through the same thing when we got married 8 years ago at 20 jier âld! So we know exactly what you’re going through! People thought we got married because I was pregnant (I wasn’t) or because he was an illegal alien (he’s an American citizen). We didn’t have much of our friends in our corner as they were doing the single thing. But now at 28 they are coming around and trying tocatch up.I’m glad God blessed me with my husband regardless of my age. God bless both of you!

    BTW We live in the DMV area! (MD) maybe we all can meet up or go to church together! We still don’t have married friends lol.

  13. KevinFerereAntwurdzje

    I don’t think anything is being stolen from you, it’s what you’re giving up. It’s cool to have structure in the Bible, but it’s up to you to dictate your life, not a book; despite the guidance that it provides.

    It’s commendable being committed and young, but part of thatyouthful lustis the learning and growing you get from meeting and socially engaging different women. Learning what you like and don’t like to do, see, and feel; instead of your scope being so limited to just one person.

    You can’t really say you know who you are and what you’re about, or even what you really want, if you haven’t interacted but so much with other women for them to show that to you. You don’t know what Love is if you don’t know what it’s not.

    • GuestAntwurdzje

      You do not need to know what Love is not if you know what Love is. How would you know if someone gives you a fake $100 bill unless you know what the real $100 bill look like. There is only one real $100 bill, just study that and you can tell when someone gives you a fake. The same with love. There are many counterfeits out there, but if you know what the real is, then you will be able to spot the fake. Since God is love, anything ungodly cannot be love.

      • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

        Hence you must date around and meet and have sex with other people. My point exactly. What is ungodly is subjective. You may try to be legalistic about it because it is in our nature to do so, however, we must let go of these ideals being that there is too much grey area amid the context.

        • Angeldoll1Antwurdzje

          I disagree with your statement having sex with other people- STD’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies, are the consequences of such relationships. If one pursues such relationships, they would not learn about proper commitment and the deeper and spiritual aspects of love rather than lust. Also I disagree with your views about dating around before you want to commit becausedating aroundis not a prerequisite to know a spouse from a nonspouse. Godly courting/dating was made for humans as depicted in the Bible whereas having mutiple partners, having random sex are the traits of animals.

          • AJ

            Angeldoll1it’s pretty naive of you to think that all non-marital sex necessarily leads toSTD’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies”… but of course, you wouldn’t know that if you haven’t taken to time to get your head out of your dusty old book and gain some life experience.

        • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

          You look at it negatively. If you’re mature and wise enough you’ll go about it the right way. The more you avoid something, the closer you come to it. Focus on the positives and that’s what you’ll get. But of course your religion doesn’t teach you that.

    • joshAntwurdzje

      “Grutter leafde hat net ien as dit, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) You know what love is if you know Christ.

      • KevinFerereAntwurdzje

        Please sir, if you’re going to regurgitate scripture, the least you can do is apply your own thought to it. It’s a reference, not a speech guide.

        • elleAntwurdzje

          Your take on scripture is wrong and the way you think you’re projecting yourself as a Christian who doesn’t follow the Bible butreferencesit but chooses to live by your own code and picks and chooses what, if anything to follow that’s of God is concerning….

          Most of what you’re claiming to stand on is false doctrine.

  14. Gabe TavianoAntwurdzje

    Nice to see you blogging here Trip! Thanks for praying for me this week, God sure has been good.

    The crazy thing about you getting married so young is that your ears and eyes have been opened to God more in your few years than some that have closed Him off for much longer. You know that God is a part of your marriage just as much as the two of you are, and that’s huge. Tankewol foar it dielen!

  15. Madeleine FarrellAntwurdzje

    This is an excellent thought process. I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. At the time we were not Christian, and also, we did not ‘have toget married. Still for some reason we did. We have been married almost 28 1/2 years now, are parents of 5 and grandparents of 2. I LOVE my life. Not to say there were times in our marriage that one of us just wanted to walk away and never come back, not to say anger and resentment were not part of our daily lives for a season, or that thinking ew made the biggest mistake of our lives was not a thought process. But we committed. And when divorce is not an option, GOD brings the healing in time.

    My daughter got married at 20 and there was not one encouragement she ever got from people. She didn’t understand why people feel it is a last resort instead of a timely blessing. Even among the Christian community.

    Our son on the other hand got married at Christmas time, at the age of 27. Just hadn’t found the right girl. One thing.. the right boy/girl is going to e the right boy/girl even through the tough times. Just cling to The Cross.

  16. CLAntwurdzje

    I couldn’t agree more. So many people seem to think that marriage is awful and there is especially no reason torushinto it, but it is something that God wants to use to bless and sanctify us. Thank you for the post!

    >>But when I looked in the Scriptures I didn’t find stuff like, "Marriage is lyk oan dea! Flechtsje út it!"of, "Put houlik ôf oant jo kinne net sette it út mear,"of, "Allinnich trouwe as jo binne te âld om te genietsjen fan it libben,"of, “Play the field for a while and then pick the best one.”

    • AnaAntwurdzje

      Thank you so much for the visit to my blogI think I figured out the feed adedrss for you (I posted it in my comments). You have a darling family, by the way! Congrats on your anniversary!

  17. PraisemovementAntwurdzje

    Thanks for your transparency and formaking Jesus look good”. Mad respect for the way you livin’and bringinglory to the Word.

  18. Andrea Paige JacksonAntwurdzje

    That is a fantastic testimony. And you posted it on mine and my husband’s tenth anniversary! (We got married OLD, though.) : )

  19. JcsmsoulAntwurdzje

    god bless u brother! i know exactly what u mean although i found the lord later in life and i wish i was married to a godly man thats loyal to his wife! these dayz its very hard to find that! and another reason i hope and pray i get married and find the one is because u dont feel guilt when making love when ur married! god bless u!

  20. JazminAntwurdzje

    Thank you so much not every one will see marriage as a blessing. Only those that trust and believe in our Lord Jesus Christ will. I to got married at a very young age and at 28 years old me and my husband have 3 beautiful children and our lives are devoted to adore and worship our father in heaven. Marriage isn’t easy though, it has it’s ups and downs but through the grace and mercy of God and surrendering to his will one is able to grow. Thank you very much for your amazing story it is a true blessing. My the Lord continue to let you and your wife grow I ask for his wisdom and most of all many blessings in your favor.

  21. Tachy MusicaAntwurdzje

    I got married so “jong” as well, and this is a blessing, we always together (including our daughter of course), we share everything, and help each other, some ppl think that if you get married so young it will be for a short time, but thanks God we almost 8 years married and the most important trying to servinGod at all times…Blessings

  22. Agopylove09Antwurdzje

    that is so awesome!! im 25 and ive been thinking about what all comes along with being a good wife and truly being submissive and having god as your center and always seeking his counsel for it all and just truly letting christ take the lead and building that relationship on the solid ground of christ jesus..falling in love with our savior first is truly a must!! having that intimate relationship with HIM alllows you to grow and know what love really is and GOD provides that love that u give to your spouse.. so greatful for a savior Who always provides..<3

  23. Joe StevensAntwurdzje

    Am an oldee who agrees fully with Triplee. Though of course it is different strokes (ages) for different folks. And everyone must marry at their God-designed time. I am 50 yrs old, got married to my sweetheart when I was 23 and she was 20! No 27 years and 1 month later, there is continuous (good) fireworks between us, still madly in love, best friends and walking together in God’s purpose. Wouldn’t trade the age I married for 6 months later! But even my kids must know their circumstacces are not necessarily identical to ours, nor are God’s timings and plans for them exactly the same.

  24. Femi OlowoAntwurdzje

    Am an oldee who agrees fully with Triplee. Though of course it is different strokes (ages) for different folks. And everyone was marry at their God-designed time. I am 50 yrs old, got married to my sweetheart when I was 23 and she was 20! No 27 years and 1 month later, there is continuous (good) fireworks between us, still madly in love, best friends and walking together in God’s purpose. Wouldn’t trade the age I married for 6 months later!

  25. ReverandjeffAntwurdzje

    I know this one all too wellJust celebrated our 13th year of marriage, and i’m 35.. I had the same folks question me the same way, but we both just knew God had ordained it and designed it. We intersected each other’s lives at PIVOTAL moments where we ended up being each others anchor, with a common anchor of Christ. The best part is when we get the chance to talk to younger people who are struggling with relationships/marriage and we get to tell our exceptional testimony !!! As in saak fan feit, had some of these discussions with JPaul some years ago.. Small world !!! God has given those who seek it the RIGHT VALUE system, and we VALUE our rib instead of runnin after chickenbones. :)

  26. BobshumakerAntwurdzje

    My Dad & Mom were high school sweethearts and they got married after graduation (both were 18 jier âld). They are still happily married to this day and have never express any regrets about their lives together. Becoming an adult might begin with marriageand your attitude concerning your decision mirrors my parents. Godly marriages are few and far between in this century….God will bless you and keep you happy for at least 50 of 60 jier!

  27. Jeffreycotton7Antwurdzje

    I thank you and your wife so much for sharing your stories. Ik bin 21 and feel like i’m going through almost the same situation. I’m just not married yet. I have that mindset of why wait if you and your partner are in love, both are spiritual, positive, and perfect through each others eyes. My girl and I have no doubt that we are going to be married one day. But even though we both want to be married, she’s more of a take her time; we have all the time in the world type person. I’m more of an ASAP we are not promised tomorrow type person. So why wait? She is a very smart girl. She reminds me of your wife and her story a little. Thinking that things might get in the way of school and career goals. But that’s more towards the talk of kids after marriage. I always tell her that I don’t want to have our first child close to 30 jier âld. I don’t want my body to start getting weaker because of age, which would make it harder and more tiring to play around with my kids. I want 7 at the most and 3 at the least. So its good to get started at a decent age. But I will continue to try to leave it in God’s hands and not worry about it too much.

  28. aneetarhAntwurdzje

    thank u so much Trip n Jess, n everyone hu dt has shared an encouragement in one way or d oda. now i’m no longer scared of gettn married early especially considern d fact dt we both love God. God bls u

  29. DashAntwurdzje

    Jannon Fitzpatrick, I agree that God is love. The only way to experience true love is to experience the one who created love. Between to people we can create nothing to that caliber unless we are letting God guide our love lives as well. “Grutter leafde hat net ien as dit, that he lay down his life for his friendsJhn 15:13. Love is not finding a self satisfaction (KevinFerere), or finding someone who can satisfy and stimulate electrical impulses in your brain. Ironically, your picture of theCreation of Adamon your page comes from the Renaissance period which was when the ideology of love and dating turned into something for the individual gratification no matter what the cost to someone else. That painting in itself is heretical stating that Adam is reaching out to God and took part in his creation. The Irony is this, Michelangelo at the end of his life saw what he had done and repented, trying to mix Christianity and Humanism (Man being the measure of all things). This ideology of love is where is I think you are coming from ? which is the same thing they practiced in Greek, Renaissance, and today’s culture. There really isnothing new under the sun”-Solomon, also from the Bible.

  30. Paul JonesAntwurdzje

    hey trip been married since i was 22 en 28 no. just had our 6th anv. god has bless us with 4 young ones. i pray that he keep blessing you and your family.

  31. CLLAntwurdzje

    What a lovely testimony to the goodness of God and what He can do in lives that are totally surrendered to Him. My husband and I were married relatively young (by 24) and like you and your wife, God saw fit to bring us together for His glory. Our son married young, at age 20 earlier this yeargasp :-) and he definitely found a good thing in his godly wife. We wanted nothing more for him and it’s a blessing.

  32. KarendaAntwurdzje

    What a great article! My husband and I got married young as well, I was 22 and my husband was 25. We just celebrated 15 years of marriage. Jezus, has brought us closer together as a couple over the years, teaching us todie to ourselvesin order to better love and serve each other. Selfishness is the number one destroyer of most marriages.

    Thank you for your willingness to be up front and honest about the topic of marriage as it relates to Scripture!

  33. MichaelAntwurdzje

    My wife and I married at 21 as well, and that was 11 years and 6 children ago (bio/adopted/foster). I didn’t know I wastoo youngto marry, I just knew she was the one I didn’t want to live without! God has been good.

  34. AJAntwurdzje

    Reading between the lines: we loved Jesus and we were horny.

    I see this happen all the time among Christians and think arguments such as these that dance around the real motivation are hilarious. It’d be sinful to just have sex, so it’s far wiser to rush into a lifelong commitment.

  35. claraAntwurdzje

    The God that begun that Marriage shall surely see you through it all. You are an encouragement to young christian youths and couples Trip. God segent dy!!

  36. JOBAntwurdzje

    I got married at the age of 21 and in the same year as you Trip Lee, in 2009. I met her in church when I was 16 years old and we have been together for almost 8 years now. We served God together with AYCM ministries, reaching out to villages and sharing the word of God in the Philippines. We told each other everydayI love you because I see how much you love God”. I do not ever regret asking her for her hand in marriage. The past 4 years of marriage has been a blessing.

  37. IsaacAntwurdzje

    God’s word is indeed supreme. Proverbs 18:22 clearly spells this out.
    Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord´´.
    My take for whoever wants to get married is to first and foremost ask for God’s direction in choosing the right partner. We as humans shouldnt make our own choices and forcifully ask God to bless it. Leaver, we should surrender in total obedience, reach out for God’s grace and ask for guidance to follow his direction for our lives.

  38. SteveMcMillonAntwurdzje

    I respect this so much!! Its so encouraging because I have had a desire to be married ever since I was 6 yrs old and alot of people put me down for it. In many ways it created insecurities in me. Thank you again for this!

  39. TerriAntwurdzje

    A little over 35 years ago I married my high school sweetheart. We were both 18, almost 19. We had many naysayers and my dad even hoped I would get divorced and find a doctor. When God arranges a marriage it doesn’t matter what the age of the bride and groom. Many blessings!

  40. MissyAntwurdzje

    I was married young as well (20 to be exact). Now at 32, I feel as though you can be married at any given age and at any given time to whoeverand God will use a person that loves Him in any circumstance to draw Himself closer to that personall you have to be is willing to be holy as He is holy. That’s why I don’t believe there isthe one”… Any persons who choose to get married, becomethe one’sfor eachother :)

  41. LiseAntwurdzje

    Tank foar dit artikel! I am 36 years old and I have been married for 19yrsyep, I was 17 when I married my 18yr old husband! We have six kids, love The Lord and are very happy :) we are asked similar questions all the time and while it may not be a popular choice or the right choice for many, I am so happy and confidant everyday that we made the right choice for us.

  42. SteffanAntwurdzje

    Dit is geweldich. I know plenty of people who think this is the biggest mistake of your life. I am 22 and have really been considering this with someone I have known and loved since my sophomore year of high school. I am sure things aren’t sunshine and rainbows for you, nor do I expect it to be for me. I commend you for putting aside all of the negativity and looking at the larger picture and what you felt God lead you to. If no one else is ever happy for you, I truly am.

  43. Kim HunterAntwurdzje

    I met my husband at 14 we got married when I was 21 and he was 23 we have been together for 22 years and married for 15 of those 22 there’s nothing wrong with getting married young its just how a person looks at life….because really your lifr is what you make it….and yes me and my husband are saved and believe in god and we are living our life for him with god all things are possible especially a long healthly loving marriage nothing easy but with god you can make it…….BE BLESSED!!

  44. Neame: Why did I get married so young? - Kingdom Cakers Kingdom Cakers

  45. CherisseAntwurdzje

    What a blessing to know the Lord and to understand his word. I wish there were more people like you. Don’t let the Devil discourage you. We know he is everywhere.

  46. GrantYoungAntwurdzje

    My wife and I got married when we were 22 and I had the same experience. Friends that were saved and unsaved wanted to let me know I had more life to live. My barber reminded me of all the clubbing and partying I could do. Myn “closefriends explained that there were other fish in the sea to explore. Goed, we actually got married around the same time 3 other couples our age did! We’re a minority but definitely not alone and it’s encouraging to remember that.

    By God’s grace we just celebrated 3 years and it’s been awesome! Thank you for sharing Trip!

  47. MerkAntwurdzje

    My take would be that if you are going to get married so young, you better know the consequences of doing so. It is very difficult even in the very best of circumstances. If you aren’t ready to work the hardest you’ve ever worked and totally sacrifice and deal with lots of disappointments and heartache, don’t sign up for it. lykwols, if you can endure (and some people do) if can be rewarding at times.

  48. KevinAntwurdzje

    I love this biblically based perspective. It’s rare among American Christian, where the cultural and social structures are so anti-marriage, to see a young person, even an older person, have such a spiritually mature view on the value of God’s institution. Based on many of the comments I’ve read, this perspective sounds so foreign to people, even in the Church because we’ve allowed ourselves to lean towards the social norms of the day rather than the biblical truth of what God holds to be valued and treasured. Praying for you Trip, keep sharing the Gospel and the truth of God’s word made practical and real in the believer’s life.

  49. PastorRobAntwurdzje

    I want to let you know Trip- Lee I got married 2 months after I turned 21. Is God all in it? Was He all in it despite people opinion and their reasoning on why I shouldn’t get married that I needed to wait. Man of God I have been married for 16 years now with 2 Beautiful girls and I am thoroughly greatful to God for a Godly wise, honorable precious jewel. The beauty about your testimony is it was meant for you to tell it!!!

  50. Neame: Single v. Married… | The Meaning of Life

  51. MavisAntwurdzje

    I have advice for all young people. If you are 18 or over, start looking for a spouse! Sex outside if marriage will bring you nothing but heartache, leaness of soul and bad health, mental and physical. Being married is a joy and economic booster! You can get so much more done and enjoy lufe so much more if you are not alone. Your parents probably got divorced because they did not follow their hearts in their youth! I don’t have the space to explain it all, but you are built to be mated. Start making yor list of must have traits right away and marry young while you have your whole heart to give. I am 53 and very grayeful to be happily married. I was married at 31 -heartbroken many times and lots if wasted youth-way way too late. Hope done if you will be wise in your youth and enjoy it by being present in it!

  52. GOSPELMAGDOTCOMAntwurdzje

    Dear Trip Lee,
    We appreciate reading your articles.
    Could you give us the authorization to translate your articles into french and to publish them on our website: gospelmag.com?
    Thank you very much in advance for your answer.
    Best in Christ,
    Marcel

  53. GenedeAntwurdzje

    My friend bought me this book when we were teens about being a young, dignified Christian woman. Of course it encouraged waiting until after marriage and everything and had verses throughout. It mentioned and she brought it up herself that God doesn’t want for us to date. I made a vow to myself that I would have boundaries with guys (I think I almost am completely done with outgrowing my shyness). I would save certain things for marriage but on and off the past 2 years I’ve gotten depressed. I’ve felt lonely. I wondered what’s wrong with me and if I’m good enough. I’m not. I don’t know every bible verse. I need to study a lot more. I’ve been trying and I don’t want to get to know just any guy because I can become heartbroken and he can lead me down a path God doesn’t want me down but I get lonely. It’s always beautiful to see other young people in love. It’s even BETTER if they’re married and I know it’s not good to be jealous but everyone says “oh, it’ll come during YOUR time”. I think about it regularly lately. I met this really nice guy. We have very similar personalities but he said he doesn’t go to church. He said he believes in God and I know I’m not perfect myself but I can’t help but wonder because I don’t think he’s actively seeking God if I’m going to regret something. Women aren’t supposed to try and change men I heard. It leads to disappointment supposedly. Goed, I’m tired of waiting. I guess I’ll learn the hard way. I’m not having sex though. Ik bin 23 and still stand strong on that but I’m confused why I don’t deserve a husband now. Everybody else gets what they want. It’s so annoying that I can’t stop thinking about guys. I get so depressed sometimes. If I marry this guy and he hasn’t changed will we be unequally yoked? Some people have everything. And I’m not saying money. I just want someone who appreciates me. It’s too much to explain.

    • NatalieAntwurdzje

      Genede:
      You are still only 23! :) Don’t worry about not finding the “rjochts” one, there is not just one person out there that is a good option. And just to clarify: YOU ARE WORTH IT. There is a reason that you are you and on this earth at this time. You are precious to Jesus, just read and claim His promises when you start to think that you are not worth it. My favorite is: “I will never leave you or forsake you.
      Someone I knew recently got divorced, and a huge issue in their marriage was that she was a believer and he was not. A decision you will have to make will beis God worth it?” Keep seeking the Lord with all your heart, and HE will direct you. He will guide you. He will provide the encouragement you need when you feel overwhelmed and depressed. Something I have found very helpful is reading Scripture out loud before I go to bed, and especially when I feel down and under attack from the enemy. You never know what God has just around the corner.. if only you wait. I know it sounds so hard and honestly, annoying, but if you will keep seeking the Lord, He will satisfy you in this season. There is a reason you are in the season! You never know how God will use it as a testimony to help other young girls who are struggling with the same thing! :) I hope this helped in some way! Blessings!

  54. MichealaAntwurdzje

    I got married at 21 and it was beautiful
    You can’t help who you fall in love with or when you fall in love with them,
    I never thought I would be the type to marry young and miss out on thefun thingsin life .. but i don’t think i did, I just shared myfun thingswith someone I love and couldn’t imagine living without.

  55. GisselleAntwurdzje

    Hi I’m Gisselle I’m from Honduras. Ik bin 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. We met 15 months ago in his church in New York! I live in Honduras.. Therefore it has been a long distance relationship. I’m in my second year of college and so as he. We’ve talked about getting married. And some of our relatives and elders from his church supports us and tell us is the best thing to do. I’m still insecure about it.. My mom isn’t too open about me getting married so young and so as my sisters. We have been praying since we first thought about marriage as a possibility. If you could write me to my email i would be grateful!

  56. JenniferAntwurdzje

    We were married 21 jierren lyn. I was 19 and my husband was 21. We have drawn closer to each other and to God. Three kids later we are looking forward to the next 20.

  57. CharlesAntwurdzje

    I just wanted to say thank you for the straight forward way that you preach Gods word. I just watched the ‘Fallinmusic video after a day of trails and temptations and feel as though God spoke right into what I’m going through. The amazing Gift of Grace that we share cannot be measured or taken for granted. Thank you so much for re-opening my eyes to something so foundational in my walk with God. I also pray that God will bless you in your ministry.

  58. ChideraAntwurdzje

    Once God shows you someone and the person has the same passion for God as you and ready to walk with you all the way. it doesn’t matter what age, once the time comes you marry. The thing is just acknowledge him in all of thy ways, he’ll make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6). Just have the passion and love for God, at the right time he’ll provide you with your helpmate who’ll stand with you through it all. Don’t wanna part, then don’t part with God. In ALL of thy ways acknowledge him, he’ell make your path straight.

  59. StacyAntwurdzje

    My husband is 3/4 black and a quarter white.(I am white). My husband I got married young also I 18 going to 19 and my husband was 20. People told us not to, we were making a mistake and will send in divorce. We didn’t listen we got married and now we have been 16 jier. God is in control.

  60. jaysmithAntwurdzje

    Kevinyou seem like you have a few things down. And you are working your way up. Keep going, kid! Oan it ein, to know yourself half as well is most of the vattle, despite any shortcomings. Blessings!

  61. TheRealHonestTruthAntwurdzje

    Well for the people out there that have been BLESSED with very Excellent luck with NO health problems at all and being married with a family with a lot of money certainly have so much to be very thankful for since they really should have NO reason to complain when many of us are NOT that lucky at all even though many of you did get married too young which there are a lot of you that are still together today.

  62. RachelSanchezAntwurdzje

    My husband and I got married earlier this year. He is 22, and I am 21. I get asked all the time why I wouldthrow my youth awayor why I would even think about getting married in college. I surprisingly get the most hurtful comments from older women who seem to look down on me. It’s heartbreaking that others can’t recognize that I am actually really enjoying my youth with my most favorite person in the world. It’s sad when people (even older generations) think that it’s perfectly fine for people in their 20s to sleep around, but when they get married it’s shocking and horrible. We just hope our marriage can inspire others to take the leap when they feel ready, regardless of what society tells them.