Tại sao tôi Got Married So Young: Từ góc nhìn của My Wife

Khoảng một tháng trước, tôi đã viết một blog nói folks tại sao tôi đã kết hôn quá trẻ. Tôi đã được khuyến khích mạnh mẽ bởi những phản hồi từ tất cả những ai đọc nó và lời cầu nguyện của tôi đã được rằng Chúa sẽ giúp chúng ta suy nghĩ theo Kinh Thánh hơn về hôn nhân. Nếu bạn đã không nhận được để đọc mà bài gốc kiểm tra xem nó ra ở đây: Tại sao tôi đã Get Married So Young?

Vâng sau khi rất nhiều folks đã tìm đến tôi và nói với tôi như thế nào hữu ích, nó đã cho họ, Tôi nghĩ rằng nó sẽ chỉ là hữu ích để cho vợ tôi, Jessica, trả lời cùng một câu hỏi từ quan điểm của mình. Vì vậy, ở đây nó là. Điều gì đã khiến vợ tôi quyết định kết hôn quá trẻ? Cô ấy nói…

1. Tôi tìm thấy một người đàn ông thần thánh

Khi tôi lần đầu tiên gặp chuyến đi, Tôi không có kế hoạch kết hôn sớm. Nhưng từ lần đầu tiên chúng tôi đi ra ngoài, Tôi biết có một cái gì đó khác nhau về anh ấy. Ông đã đam mê Tin Mừng trong một cách mà tôi chưa bao giờ thấy trước đây trong một chàng trai tuổi của tôi. Tôi cũng chưa bao giờ gặp một người có một quan điểm khôn ngoan như vậy về hẹn hò. Nhờ làm môn đệ của mình trước khi học đại học, ông biết chính xác những gì ông nghĩ rằng một mối quan hệ thần thánh nên như thế và ông không sẵn sàng thỏa hiệp mà.

Tôi sẽ thừa nhận rằng tôi đấu tranh với điều này lúc đầu. Nó dường như quá nghiêm trọng và quá đáng. Nhưng qua thời gian Chúa bắt đầu cho tôi thấy sự khôn ngoan trong một mối quan hệ hòa với cộng đồng, độ tinh khiết tình dục và cảm xúc, và hẹn hò với mục đích của hôn nhân. Nếu bạn không sẵn sàng để kết hôn, sau đó có lẽ không phải là một ý tưởng tốt để tham gia mỗi người khác trái tim. Trong Song of Solomon chúng tôi được cảnh báo không được đánh thức tình yêu trước khi thời gian của mình. là phụ nữ, chúng ta là những sinh vật rất tình cảm và vì vậy khi tôi gặp một người đàn ông đã đam mê tiến hành các mối quan hệ của chúng tôi trong một cách mà sẽ bảo vệ trái tim tôi, Tôi biết tôi tìm thấy một thủ môn :)

2. We were encouraged by the people in our lives

Trong thời gian tán tỉnh của chúng tôi, chúng tôi yêu cầu mọi người nhất định phải mật thiết liên quan đến mối quan hệ của chúng tôi. Họ sẽ giữ cho chúng tôi có trách nhiệm với ranh giới của chúng tôi và giúp chúng tôi đưa ra quyết định khôn ngoan về mối quan hệ của chúng tôi. Chúng tôi cũng đã đi qua tư vấn trước hôn nhân trước khi chúng tôi thậm chí đã đính hôn. Hai điều này cho phép chúng ta tìm kiếm sự khôn ngoan của tuổi, anh em khôn ngoan hơn và chị em về việc có hay không đó là một ý tưởng tốt để kết hôn. Thiên Chúa đã ban cho chúng ta mục sư và cố vấn từ nhà thờ địa phương của chúng tôi vì một lý do. Họ giúp chúng ta suy nghĩ về quyết định của mình một cách khôn ngoan và đưa ra một quan điểm thần thánh bên ngoài. Relationships that are conducted in isolation are putting couples at serious risk of sin and unwise decision making. I would really encourage dating couples to have other believers from your community intimately involved in their relationship.

3. The Lord showed me the beauty of marriage

Là một sinh viên năm nhất đại học tôi đã có những gì tôi muốn gọi là Hội chứng Superwoman. Tôi đã rất độc lập và sự nghiệp lái xe, rất trái ngược với ý tưởng cần một người đàn ông. Tôi không nghĩ rằng có bất cứ điều gì sai với việc độc lập hoặc sự nghiệp Driven, nhưng trong trái tim tôi nó đã được nhiều hơn thế. Tôi đã khinh khi thiết kế của Thiên Chúa dành cho nam giới và phụ nữ. Tôi sẽ không bao giờ nói ra điều đó, nhưng nếu tôi là trung thực, Tôi đã thất vọng với những gì tôi nghĩ rằng Kinh Thánh đã nói về phụ nữ. Chúng tôi là những yếu, chúng ta không thể dạy, chúng tôi không thể dẫn, chúng tôi không phải là người đứng đầu của các hộ gia đình, và rất yêu thích của tôi, chúng ta phải có một tinh thần nhẹ nhàng và yên tĩnh. Tôi nghĩ tôi đã có bất cứ điều gì nhưng tinh thần nhẹ nhàng và yên tĩnh và tôi đã không quan tâm đến việc thay đổi tính cách của tôi. Tất cả những suy nghĩ khiến tôi nghĩ rằng hôn nhân là cái gì đó sẽ giữ tôi lại. Nó sẽ giữ cho tôi theo đuổi tất cả những giấc mơ sự nghiệp của tôi đã có và một ngày nào đó tôi sẽ kết thúc với 10 and half babies on a farm somewhere.

Rất may, trong những năm qua Chúa đã dạy cho tôi và cho tôi thấy những gì nó thực sự trông giống như là một người phụ nữ thần thánh. Là một người phụ nữ thần thánh không được định nghĩa bởi những gì bạn làm hoặc không làm. Tôi biết rất nhiều phụ nữ thánh người trung thành phục vụ Chúa trong công việc của công ty và vô số những người phụ nữ phục vụ trẻ em và chồng của họ một cách trung tại nhà. Biblical womanhood is about understanding God’s unique role for us as women and delighting in the beauty of Gods design.

Là một phụ nữ đã lập gia đình tôi đã học được rất nhiều về những gì nó có nghĩa là một phụ nữ tin kính và tôi không cảm thấy bị xích xuống bởi chồng tôi hay hôn nhân của tôi. thiết kế của Thiên Chúa cho hôn nhân là tốt cho chúng ta và sự vinh hiển Ngài. Hiểu biết và tin rằng đã cho tôi sự tự tin để kết hôn ở tuổi 22. Hai năm rưỡi sau, Tôi không có bất kỳ hối tiếc, và tôi chỉ có thể cầu nguyện rằng Chúa tiếp tục chúc lành cho hôn nhân của chúng tôi.

CỔ PHẦN

43 Comments

  1. Jdharden1trả lời

    Thật ngạc nhiên, how God can write the most perfect love story to those who hand over the pen to him. Thank you Jessica, Tôi thực sự cần thiết này. This encourages me as a 16yr old to submit to God and let him have his way in my love life. Chúa phù hộ bạn.

  2. Jannon Fitzpatricktrả lời

    I LOVE THIS!! We are youth pastors at a small church and I always tell the teens, “There are only two things you will ever do in a relationship… 1) Get Married 2) Break up. Breaking up hurts and creates baggage, so if you are not ready to get married, it’s best not to start in a relationship.” (Not that you don’t grow to be ready for marriage in a relationship, but I’m mostly talking to 13-16 yr olds.) Most people start a relationship thinking it will be a small, shortlived, fun thing. But then feelings develop, you fall into sin, and then it’s harder than ever to get out. If we would protect the heart God Gave us as precious, and go at relationships from this perspective, the perspective of it ending up in marriage to a Godly man or woman, we would be far less hurt and broken by the time that Godly man or woman God has for us comes around! Cảm ơn đã chia sẽ!!!

  3. Demonslayer4god777trả lời

    I’m really glad I clicked on the link to read this post. tôi là 25 and my husband and I have been married for nearly 5 năm. Hiện nay, I am the first to tell everybody that God is the reason we are married. Thích bạn, tại 21, I was NOT looking for nor did I want a husband, shoot I didn’t want a boyfriend. 2007 was the year God completely changed my life. In January I had just discovered what God really wanted was relationship rather than religion so I was on high(spiritually) and zeal like nothing I had ever experienced before. Next thing I know a month later I was married. Crazy I know. But what can I sayGod told us to do it. And five years later, we are still together, and growing together in Christ. Hiện nay, I wouldn’t advise to anyone to do it as rapidly as we did. But I wouldn’t advise against it, if you feel led by God, and have prayed and fast. I pray that God continues to not only grow your marriage but strengthen it. I pray that your love for each other also continues to grow. I bind up anything, anyperson, any spirit, that would try to divide you. I pray that you are blessed with great communication skills, and increased patience. May God keep you, in Jesus name.

  4. Matt Novaktrả lời

    Thanks guys for using your courtship and marriage as an example and encouragement for young singles and young married couples. Thanks for glorifying God with your marriage, and sharing your wisdom and experiences with the body of Christ, which is in fact the bride of Christ, so this also gives us a portrait of how we are to live as the bride of Christ. Praise God for the work he has done in your lives to mature you both at such a young age.

  5. Ariep17trả lời

    Wow this was really great! Như một 20 y.o. ppl look at me like im insane for having the desire to get married. I would love to see some expansion on what you mean byemotionally pure.I love the trasparency also in what you said. God bless yall

    • Philipns2 5 11trả lời

      Về cơ bản, when she saysemotionally pureshe’s talking more about not already in your mind trying to marry the guy or think that you areexclusivelyhis just because you’re dating. That can lead to other sinful thoughts like, “sexual fantasies, lust,vv” You realize you’re emotionally impure when your vision of that other person’s character is so clouded that you make the relationship an idol in your own mind. That’s why Proverbs 4:23 is so important to live by,especially as a woman because we are, like was mentioned, “emotionalcreatures.

  6. Kerai Riddletrả lời

    Tôi yêu này!!!!!!!!! Sometimes you seem to forget that youre not the only one because so many around you mostly peers seem to think yourjumping the gunso many people to me that i wasnt ready and im too young, but i truly believe this is what god had in store for me. I was scared out of my mind the day after because not only did i get married early at the age of 18 i also married a man i knew less than a year and he was only 19. We had a instant connection like our souls were destined to be together, i love him more now than i ever have hes my partner for life and i wouldnt change it for anything. We prayed together and went to church together got married and had a child together now here we are..It will be 3 years in february and i still have no regrets that i made this move :-) god has blessed me with a good man.. My vows mean the world to me and i wouldnt break them.. Thanks for posting this keep it up i love young loveYou hardly ever see couples last til death but i strive to be that couple til death do we part divorce is not an option!!

  7. Adrienne Kellytrả lời

    God bless you two. He surely will because you trusted Him and His divine plan for the male/female relationship and came into covenant agreement that you would honor Him and each other for life. I’m so proud.

  8. Louib2001trả lời

    Praise the Lord for you brother and your lovely wife of your youth. I pray that the Lord will pour favor continuously throughout your life, because you have obeyed his word. tôi là 28 and have been married now for almost two years and my wife and I have a happy marriage and a lovely 10 moth old baby. I always wanted to get married younger, but I believe it wasn’t time yet for me until the Lord brought my good thing almost 5 years ago (to be precise we met on the day we got born again 31 Dec 2006). I did not know we where destined to be together as I took her as an ordinary sister from church. I was also concentrating on my spiritual growth, but three years ago my eyes opened and the rest as they say is history.

    It is in Satan’s agenda for people not to be married, so that they live in sin and we already know what will happen. Have we looked at the rate of divorce in the body today? How about brothers and sister fornicating in the church, because of what society dictates.

    If we look at how our cities are filled with youth violence today, do we take a moment to think of some of the root causes? The moment man exchange Godly values for circular ism all this fell apart. Even Christian parents are ignorantly promoting circular ism by discouraging their children not to get married young (at the age of concern obviously). The reasons are I quoteyou need to get an education, maybe when you finish your masters and have a decent job, then start to think about marriage”. That sound wise doesn’t it ? So what happens when your Christian child is goes to university and then moves in with boy/girl friend whose either Christian or non?

    Please do not get me wrong(that’s just some of the things I have come across), because the above statement does not apply to all. Education is very important as one acquires knowledge for their respective profession so they could work and provide for their future families etc, but marriage wont stop one from succeeding in what ever area in life one chooses to follow, as a matter of fact a marriage in general promotes growth i.e great ministry, good heath, wealth and the list goes on. Remember the two becomes one flesh and can chase 10 000 wow, that means that in agreement what ever they ask God faithfully they will attain, awesome…..

    In close I would like to suggest that we as Christians start teaching our children at a young age on the importance of first living for God and secondly the importance of marriage( to those who’ve been given the gift) so that they grow up wanting to please God in this area. Once again well done my brother and to all those living the word of God. Ở lại may mắn.

  9. Iwantstate01trả lời

    Jessica, could you share some of the practical things Trip did during your courtship to guard your heart EMOTIONALLY. I understand setting physical purity boundaries. But what did it look like practically in the emotional area?

    Cảm ơn!

  10. Katherine2ctrả lời

    I so NEEDED to read this!!! Cho tôi biết!! I struggle with the things you once struggled with and I want to honor the Lord and my husband!!!! With that being said, I will continue to strive to be that P31 wife!!! Cho tôi biết!!!

  11. ChosenVtrả lời

    I really thank God for your blog. After reading it for the 1st time I was wow’d at Gods work. Three months down the line I read this again and I’m still wow’d. I’m a 22 year old female and with marraigelooming”, your blog is trully inspirational. It is my prayer that my man be as God driven as Trip was in terms of fulfilling his role as a man in our relationship. May God bless you:-)

  12. Chelstertrả lời

    At Man Up, LA, a couple months ago, Jess mentioned that Trip is hercovering,” and here she talked about how she used to be asuperwoman,” but came to learn what godly (submissive) femininity is supposed to look like.
    Can either or both of you speak a little more specifically on what you believe God’s idea is for men’s and women’s roles in a marriage? Y’all are a blessing!!

  13. Nicole-Rose Munhawatrả lời

    I really think your story is wonderful. Both of you grasped the beauty of the gift of marriage and you’ve really inspired me. Congratulations on your marriage and I pray for outrageous love to be shared between you. So happy for you

  14. Godgiven51trả lời

    Such a wise perspective,my wife and I have been married for 5 years and I am also in the Gospel hip hop field,its always awesome to have her in my corner praying when we travel,you wives play an important part in our lives,keep doing what ya doin sis!

  15. Iolene_Branchtrả lời

    I put myself on the journey to be a better woman of Christ at the beginning of 2011 and I must say I have come a very far ways and I am extremely proud of myself. During my journey God placed a blessed man in my path and reading this blog has definitely played its part as the last sign needed from my prayers.

    I also had no intentions of searching for a man to spend the rest of my life with at 20 tuổi, but here I am, and this blog is extremely encouraging. For me to stand beside him in all his endeavors and be the woman God created me to be and be by his side as God molds him to be the man he needs to be.

    Thank you for this. I really do appreciate it :)

  16. Arnold Mofortrả lời

    Whao, Trip and Jessica! You actually do not know how far your lessons are reaching-I am in Cameroon. tôi là 25 yr-old and recently took a day in extended time with God to seek God concerning my future partner. Then I came up with a checklist/ Prayer points list of the kind of woman I want to date and eventually marry. Then a day later I met your blog. I think God is preparing me in special way. This is my Wife’s Checklist/ prayer points list:
    ARNOLD’S WIFE CHECKLIST/ PRAYER POINTS LIST
    ATTRIBUTES STRENGTH
    (grade 1-4)
    Devoted and growing Christian
    My suitable Helper
    Respects her parents, her family, the authority and me in my presence and absence
    Partners with me in my ministry
    Submissive in everything
    Has a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
    Shares similar thoughts, struggles, pains, no secrets
    Does not desire outer beauty-clothes, jewelry, hair styles
    Prudent and Generous
    Hardworking
    Makes me desire to work extremely harder

  17. Angela Johnsontrả lời

    What a Blessing You Both Are! Keep On Keeping On With HIM! You Won’t Go Wrong…..Không bao giờ! I got married young but without the wisdom of HIM and others who were led of The Spirit to encourage us to seek HIM first……I must say that anyone who chooses HIS Way will be positioning them selves to receive HIS Plan for them and not their plans for themselves which is Far Greater than Anything we could everthink offor ourselves….TRUST IN HIM!:) I am walking by Faith and not by Sight (2 corinthians 5:7) Or I would have killed my self……Without HIM I saw no good thing. Thank You LORD For Sending The Holy Spirit Who Comforts and Guides me. JESUS Is LORD! ( I am still married and we Both <3 The Lord!) Stay Blessed!:) Much <3 and Peace!:) Very Inspiring of you both to have posted, Thank You Very Much!:)

  18. aneetarhtrả lời

    thank u so much Jessica,dis is exactly wot i need right nw. God rilly bls u guys. I’m 21,in a godly relatnshp n my boyfriend wants us 2 get married ASAP. I wasn’t sure if it’s a gud idea cause i felt i wasn’t matured enuf bt i thank God 4 dis,if it’s God’s will den i totally subscribe 2 nó

  19. Rchllnndrehertrả lời

    WOW the reasons behind you getting marride are the same as mine were and what still make me believe I made the right choice I also felt God saying this is the one it is time to let go of the past only our pastor didnt approve which made it a hard choice in a way other than I was following God. tôi 22 and just got married 2 mo ago. It may be a short time but God is growing us together and teaching us so much(for me how to open up be soft and be a woman as God created me to be) It was awsome to read this and I want to thank you for taking the time to write it. May God Bless You and Your House!

  20. Rachel Wrighttrả lời

    Ya’ll testimony is so awesome! It is is encouraging to hear that ya’ll were able to get married young. I myself am getting married this summer at the age of 21 and God has blessed us in so many ways and continues to amaze us and bless us! Thank you once again from both of you for these uplifting blogs!

  21. Dfletcher812trả lời

    I Totally Agree. I got married at the age of 18. Yes I was a baby but, the Lord spoke to me and told me not be afraid to take a leap of faith and being Obedient to the will of God i did. Now Im 24 with Three Kids and my Husband and I are very deep in ministry of music. God has done some impossible things in our lives and I love to hear that other young women and young men of God realize that God has given their soul mate to them and deiced to make the right decision.

    And we cant forget, Mary married Joseph at 14 years of age and Birthed Jesus, She was a virgin and pure in the sight of God. So Ladies and men stay pure for God until u marry!!!

  22. Grabiel Riveratrả lời

    thats great the same has happened to me and my wife , i was 21 and she was 18. we let god direct us and be in our marriage and now he showing us his work in our lifes and in our marriage. may god keep blessing yah marriage like he has done in ours god bless

  23. Addis Huntertrả lời

    Thank you for your testimony, I can relate to you in many ways. I do have to admit that I struggle daily withhaving a gentle and quiet spiritpart of marrige..Like you, I was and still am very driven and independant , and acknowledging my husband as the head of household and submitting to his ideas (even when I dont agree) is my biggest challenge as a young wife. I ask God every day to help me humble myself and submitt to my husband in every way. Cảm ơn bạn đã chia sẻ.

  24. Jennifer Ann Sellertrả lời

    21 tuổi, and I feel like you’re describing me. I definitely have that Superwoman Syndrome. Thank you so much for your inspiring testimony, it gives me hope :)

  25. Pulemolisetrả lời

    thnx alot Trip and Jessica,many adults nid 2 see dis,i m truly encouraged by you guys,I luv hw ur sides complement,-Trip met a godly woman and Jessica met a godly man,wow!(dats why u had 2 get married,lol!) nd we thnk God 4 u guys,u hv shown dat u can b responsible adults at a young age wen adults at an older age cant evn manage a fraction of wat u r doing,big-ups 2 u,nd may God continue 2 bles ur marriage more and more with each day dt comes

  26. simon paul -----uktrả lời

    Thank u so much Jessica for such apowerful encouragement .Am 21 but i alwalys thought growing means focus on a relationship .Sorry to bother you, Does dating someone in a christian relationship meanyou have to marry that very person , though she has got all the intimacy ur looking for..n you dont wanna hurt person..cos she expects uto be her hubbyHow would u handle such a catastrophe?????thxx.

  27. Kailatrả lời

    I know this was written awhile ago and I finally got a chance to read it. Nhưng, I guess this was a good time for me to read it. Seems like God keeps putting little things around to tell me it’s time to put him back into things. And I think not only my relationship with my boyfriend is what’s needs Him back in it, but this shows that He can help smooth things out.

    I also found it interesting that I never thought of my mindset as the Superwomen Syndrome, but I can definitely can say I need help working on mine. That’s how my boyfriend describes me when I try to take on too much whether it be emotionally or work wise.

  28. Coltontrả lời

    Hey chuyến đi! I read both of these blogs, and they (along with the godly counsel of family and friends) have been immensely helpful to me in the past few months. I’ve met the girl that I know God has for me to marry, and we’re just waiting on his timing. It’s quite possible that we will end up married even before you were, or at least by then!

    What advice would you give to someone who is in every other way ready to marry, except for the ability to provide a home (because of attending college)?

    Thanks so much!