Kutheni ndatshata Intombazana White

Nanini na emva imifanekiso intsapho yam eendaba zentlalo, iimpendulo zisoloko fun. Eqhelekileyo inkoliso, "Unyana wakho mhle kangaka!"Okanye" Yintoni usapho entle!"Kodwa elinye iimpendulo eqhelekileyo, "Ngaba umfazi wakho ezimhlophe?"Abantu bacela kum ibonisa ngamanye amaxesha kakhulu. Impendulo nguewe. Umfazi wam bayi- Hungarian, IsiTaliyani, nesiPolish-ukuba abantu abaninzi nje ewe, emdala amhlophe. Oku awungeni kwezinye, kodwa ezothusayo okanye ekudanisayo kwabanye. Andiqondi ukuba umntu kufuneka othuka okanye yokuphoxwa imitshato ukutshatana, kodwa nangoku ndifuna ukuthetha kutheni ndatshata ngaphandle "ugqatso yam.

Isigqibo ukutshata nomntu ukusuka nemvelaphi eyahlukileyo uhlanga kwakungekho namnye lobutsha kum. Andizange ndahlala phantsi, wabhala ngaphandle elungileyo nengalunganga uluhlu. Nangona ukuba wenza, into yokuba umfazi wam zange wabona elidume "Martin" iya kuba con kudidi. kodwa enyanisweni, Andizange ndichithe phezu okanye bafune icebo malunga nokuba kuyinto. Ndeyiseka ukuba umfazi kum batshate, nangona wayengekho abamnyama.

Abanye akasoze cinga ukutshata nomntu asinguye nobuzwe efanayo kubo, ngoko ke makhe ndinibalisele ukuba kwakutheni mna.

okulindelekileyo

Ukunyaniseka, ndisoloko kulindeleke ukuba angazeki mfazi omnyama. Ndafumana abafazi zonke ezintle, kodwa amantombazana abamnyama "alukhethayo." yam Kodwa xa ndithe ndafika kwi campus yam kwikholeji 2006, Mna andifuni umfazi konke konke. Ndandifuna nje ukuba akhule ukholo lwam kwaye ufumane imfundo. album yam yokuqala nje uphume, ngoko ke sahlutha kwezinye izinto ukuba bagxininise. Kodwa njengoko ndadibana nabantu esikolweni, indawo sophomore ogama UJessica ngokwenene wabamba ingqalelo wam saba ngabahlobo.

Sabalekela kwi izangqa efanayo saphela ukuya kuhlangana icawa enye, ngoko wabona omnye kakhulu. Kwaye okukhona Ndathi ukwazi kuye, okukhona ndanxulumana kuye. Ngokwenene wayemthanda uYesu yaye le ukukulungela kwabantwana ukwenza nantoni Wabuza. imfesane bakhe kubantu abasweleyo umngeni kum waza waba intliziyo ethobekileyo basabela iLizwi. Kulo nyaka wokuqala, Ndandibukele yakhe kubingelela iiyure ezininzi ixesha ekukhonzeni ecaweni yethu. Phezu kwayo yonke loo, Ndandikuthanda ukuba emjikelezileyo. incoko yethu, nokuba kakhulu okanye abafazazana, kusoloko ahamba lula. Ngoko ekugqibeleni ndaqalisa ukubuza mna, "Ukuba ndinokutshata le ntombazana?"

Ezikhethwayo

UJessica akazange kanje ndathemba umfazi wam elizayo khangela, kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba akuzange akunamsebenzi kum. Musa ngandivi kakubi, Ndandicinga ukuba wayemhle ukususela kwixesha lokuqala endadibana naye. Kwaye akazange ngokuchaseneyo ngokutshata intombazana emhlophe. Mna andizange Andiqondi ukuba. Kodwa njengoko Ndakhulela elukholweni yam nentliziyo yam watshintsha, ngenye waqala ukutshintsha kakhulu. Eyona kukhetha ukuba umfazi wam kuba uThixo, kwaye UJessica. Ngoko wifed yakhe.

Ungaze nakancinane wenza Ndiziva ngathi ndandiqalisa ukuzinza. Oku uziva ngathi ekuzinziseni ngoyaba umfazi uThixo nje ngenxa yohlanga yakhe. Ndandingayithandi ndalixabisa lam ezikhethwa ngokuba umfazi phezu koko ezifunekayo kwi umfazi.

Akukho nto ke ukuba iphosakeleyo ezikhethwa, kodwa kufuneka babe nabo ngesandla evulekileyo. Ndiyazi abanye abantu ngoyaba iqabane enokuba uThixo kuba awangeni ezinye ozenzekelayo kuqala. Ezinye iinketho zethu ngokwenene musa Akukhathaliseki ukuba lukhulu. Ezinye iinketho zethu banokude isidenge, ngoko ke kufuneka ukuba angenise bonke bephela ngokweSibhalo.

Xa wena neqabane lakho phakathi ungquzulwano, ulusu Akukhathaliseki. uhlobo lomzimba iwonga ekuhlaleni kubonakala singabalulekanga. Ufuna ukuba yobuthixo abathobekileyo. Ke umfazi wam mna kuqala ukukhulisa umntwana wethu wokuqala, Ndandingakwazi kuba nombulelo kakhulu kuye. Yena yeyona umama emangalisayo kunye nempembelelo lobuthixo kunyana-yam apho into yokwenza imvelaphi yobuhlanga yakhe. Yinto KULUNGILE ukuba ufuna izinto iqabane, kodwa kufuneka angenise iminqweno yethu ukuba oko uThixo afuna kuthi iqabane. Oko ndifuna nobaluleke kakhulu neqabane uThixo, kwaye yiloo nto kanye ukuba uThixo.

LUQULATHE

187 izimvo

  1. CLLimpendulo

    Well said Trip. My husband is White and I am Black and I constantly get asked what made me choose someone outside of my race. I always reply that God made the choice for me and He did such an amazing job, better than I ever could have done on my own. UThixo ulungile! Keep doing what you do! 116! Jesus first until we’re under the earth!

    • Erickaimpendulo

      Thanks for the honesty Trip Lee. Ndiyavuma. You can have a preference but you have to hold it with an open hand because as a Christian your first commitment is to Christ and your spouse has to support that. Evenly yolked

    • Oluwaseyiimpendulo

      Great post Trip.
      I have trouble viewing your blog on my phone. The pages seem fixed hindering left-right scrolling and words at the end of each line seems cut off from my screen so I sometimes can’t make sense of some sentences. I’m not sure if this is a problem with my browser or maybe a technicality in the blog’s setup. Just wanted to bring it up just incase something can be done from your end.
      Enkosi.
      Stay blessed.

    • Mariaimpendulo

      My daughter loves your music. enyanisweni, I must admit; I do too:). When she first introduced me to tour music along with our other favorite, LaCrae) I was just so glad for your Godly influence via your music. But I have remained somewhat alert. Wondering if your music manifested your character. Reading this I am confident that you are a Godly man. I pray many many blessings for you and your beautiful wife and adorable son. Personally speaking, and in a time where there is so much evil, ethnicity is just that. One is truly fortunate to have a wife (if you are a man) who loves Jesus and serves Him right along side of you.

    • AdamCravenimpendulo

      AMEN!!! I never really understood why some people overlooked a godly woman simply because they didn’t fit into one of their preferences. I have a sister who almost put a preference before happiness. She eventually went to the wonderful word of god and prayed about it and prayed and finally she got her answer and I now 2 nieces and a great god fearing brother-in-law!! You never should put your preferences before god because every time someone they are basically spitting in god’s face and my preferences before you!!

  2. Carinaimpendulo

    As God leads, we should follow. I think biblically speaking we are all one race, first from Adam and Eve then later all descendants of Noah. It may take thousands of years and hundreds of generations to get back, but we all started from the same place. One race, many ethnicities.

  3. Brittaimpendulo

    I agree completely! Before I met my husband I always preferred clean shaven red heads, but then I met David. He was a bald guy with a goatee long enough for me to braid! He was/is everything that God had promised me I’d find in a husband, but if I was just looking for a certain appearance I would have missed out on the best thing God had for me!

  4. kaEnanaimpendulo

    Thank you Trip for this amazing article. To be honest with you, I was pretty surprised when I found out about your wife’s race. kodwa, I believe that God’s plans for our lives, don’t always match what we expect or want. Ngoko ke, this article has encouraged me to pray and get my motives right; so when the right person does come along my way, God-willing, I’m ready. Thank you again bro. Love you and your fam in Jesus. inkosi ikusikelele.

  5. uRakeliimpendulo

    Wowu. I’m thankful for your open and honest heart on this subject, as I’m sure it’s not addressed enough! My husband and I are the same “uhlanga” but I can see this same controversy over silly things like someones social status (what kind of job they have), if they have children, what their past has been, regardless of wether they are in Christ or not. I know for a fact I would’ve married my husband no matter his race, status, or background. God’s love and grace covers over everything and makes it all new and beautiful. And like you said, HE knows what we need more than we do ourselves. Thank you for this post!!

  6. Crystalimpendulo

    Absolutely beautiful. I love that you mentioned how your preferences changed when your priorities changed. God is awesome, He has the very best for each of us but we need to get out of our own way so that we can see, receive and appreciate them. I’m a black woman who could not care less about race. My prayer is to see people as God sees them and walk in His will. That’s it. He’s our maker, who are we to be racist?

  7. Maralimpendulo

    Great blog that people need to read. I am Lebanese Armenian and my husband is black and we went through and are going through a lot of grief from my family.
    I never had a preference of ethnicity. Before I was saved I had 3 serious relationships of different ethnicity and after I got saved and grew in my relationship with Christ it was all about who I amcalledto be with; who God hasordainedfor me.
    Growing up it wasn’t so much a preference but a requirement by my family to marry within my ethnicity but I did not care; i was always considered the black sheep anyway
    To me all that mattered was what the Lord’s will is for my life and when my husband was revealed to me I had such a peace and such a knowing that I stood my ground. We are still praying for my family’s hearts to be softened but in the end all that matters is that I am in God’s will and His path and there’s no where else I want to be..I am safe and secure in His will.

  8. Michaelimpendulo

    This was a great post Trip. I’ve never felt interested in my own ethnicity, Hispanic, but as I’ve grown more in my faith it has become more apparent to me that skin tone doesn’t matter as much. This was refreshing to read and I thank God that he gave you such a great woman to help you continue glorify Him. Thanks for the inspiration in all your messages!

  9. Jarredimpendulo

    My wife and I are white people. The Lord pushed us into adoption for our first child. In that process you can choose what you want. It’s almost like picking out a puppy. Anyway one of the choices you get to make is for race. We have no problem with any race, kunjalo, where I am from they HATE black people. So we chose not to adopt a black child because of them and the way that they would be treated when we took them back to see my grandparents. I have often wrestled with that choice. Did we do the right thing? Were we protecting our child from that hate, or were we playing God in our own lives? We are comfortable with that choice now, because it is over, but what do you think?

    • DeeDeeimpendulo

      Jarred-

      I read your postI’m black, and was adopted by my parents who are white. Even the judge who handled the case was black. Mom and Dad were nervous because we lived in an area where I and one of my other adopted siblings may not have been as guarded from people’s prejudices. Oku sekuthethekile, they trusted God, and never encountered situations of concern.

      I think and believe that you and your wife did what was best for your family. Each situation is unique and God gives us a measure of grace to navigate life’s small and large moments. Be encouraged! Ngubani owaziyo, maybe you’ll get the chance to adopt again and choose a black (or other ethnicity) child! God knew your hearts then, and he knows it even in this moment.

    • lillyimpendulo

      Jared,
      I come from a family where my white parents have adopted 6 abantwana abamnyama. I think it’s very honest for you all to truly recognize that adopting outside your race means you have to be very intentional about allowing your child to experience their culture, and explore their blackness. If God had truly called you to pursue raising a black child, then it should not be that easy to have your family influence you out of that decision. nokuba, the questions need to be asked, is the decision to adopt more about me, or the child who needs a home? Can I endure all the backlash from friends and family that comes with adopting a child outside my race? Am I expecting the child to be raised in a way that forces them to give up who they are to be a member of my family? Will I leave space for my child to be able to wrestle through their identity of living between worlds? Is society set up in way that favors more the interest of me being white person to adopt over the true needs of the child? How ethical is this adoption process?
      Adopting a child means a whole mindset shift, and physical relocating if the environment you are in doesn’t favor your child’s needs. Relationships will need to be built with those who are coming from a perspective that you can never fully resonate with (being black). We live in a racist world, and that has to be made so aware by you and the child you raise. If you chose to not recognize that, then you are in many ways doing a disservice to yourself and the child you adopt. Adoption is not about you getting to rescue the poor black child. It’s about you being motivated out of a place of love and truly living out the heart of the gospel to reconcile and love your neighbor. This is not about you, as a white person.
      In many ways these are just a few questions you need to be confronting. If you aren’t ready to endure this and so much more, then not adopting a black child was probably a good decision. I posted an article below that allows you to question these things in a deeper way by inviting race into the dialogue and getting a glimpse of adoptees and their experiences.
      Not every story is a success story and often times those aren’t the stories being heard. I am fortunate for my experiences and my family. Ngeendlela ezininzi, I have been granted with many possibilities to explore who I am with many opportunities, kunjalo, I do know that it comes with a cost and we need to leave space for that to be talked about.

      http://colorlines.com/archives/2013/08/gazillion_voices_explores_race_and_identity_in_adoption.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+racewireblog+%28Colorlines.com%29&utm_content=FaceBook

  10. John Evangelimpendulo

    Hi Trip!
    Long time reader & listener. First time commenter. I really love this article.
    My family is Nigerian, and my dad sent me a random text one Tuesday morning at 4am sayingIf you want to get married, make sure its someone from the same background as you are. At most, the same country.
    Kanjalo, I didn’t know what to say, because we’ve never discussed this before. #Awkward.
    I do know that I will love my wife, when I’m ready, regardless of complexion, racial background, language barriers, and any other possible differences. The most important thing for me is that she is an integral part of my familyGod’s family. That’s enough.
    Enkosi kwakhona!

  11. Viniimpendulo

    Thanks for sharing your heart Trip. We are all the same when we strip the skin. God has created each one equally and uniquely according to his special design. UThixo akusikelele wena nosapho lwakho.

  12. JoshHaanimpendulo

    Nothing wrong like you said Trip about marrying someone of a different race. What matters is that who ever you or I marry that they love Jesus (uphawu 12:30 yesiXhosa) and that they will love you back and that we love her like God loves the Church. God bless you Trip and your family

  13. MichaelJimpendulo

    Awesome breakdown of how the Lord is constantly changing theeyes of our heartto align with theeyes of our head”. I can relate to the challenges, even though I’m not married yet, because a godly woman who has a desire to please her Savior is more important than any outwardly attribute. Congratulations on you all’s years and may God continue to bless the rest.

  14. arthur simuchileimpendulo

    We all have the same father but different mothers the same blood of jesus runs in us,skin is just skin,but what’s inside us matters most ,wonderfull Mr Trip Lee.may God bless you and your family for your wonderfull inspiration.

  15. deidreBakerimpendulo

    Wowu! I did not know you had married and that she is a white women, as a black women and a women of God, congrats on finding true love! I love how you explained why you married your wife, and you really didn’t have too, but you story is amazing! so to you brother and your lovely wife Jessica, I wish you guys many many years! Be Blessed!

  16. Elizabethimpendulo

    Hello Trip,

    You make a excellent point! I have learn from your article that it does not matter about the skin tone but what matters is how the person is walking with God and their Heart!! Thank you for sharing a beautiful story.

  17. Jimmy Sorrellsimpendulo

    That makes perfect sense. What doesn’t make sense is racism. Since there is only one race, to be racist is to be against the human race. There are different people groups but only one race but this seems to be a losing argument with people I have discussed it with even though its the truth.

  18. JeffreyCravensimpendulo

    I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.

    Such a true and profound statement. My father is black, mother is white, they have been married 35 kwiminyaka. And some rough years too but in the middle of those conflicts, “skin tonemost definitely didn’t matter. The Lord has been gracious and faithful.

    uhambo, this post is refreshing bro. I’m a week away from celebrating my first year of marriage to a godly wife who challenges me daily with her compassion. She also happens to be of latin, french and hawaiian decent. So reading this has been much appreciated.

    Enkosi kwakhona, Jeff.

  19. Michelleimpendulo

    Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this. Whether white, mnyama, etc you’ve touched on what is really important. The spirit of racism has hindered us for a long time in a lot of areas. I believe we are breaking through nonetheless. inkosi ikusikelele & your growing family.

  20. Bachizzleimpendulo

    I have a thought, I am a native american ( indian) I see it how you have and do trip. I studied at Southern sem. and people ask me when are you going to get married? I respond withwhen the time is right and i am right”. I do keep my eyes open and i sayi want a godly wife who will be so in love with Jesus that she’ll honor His word”. And the race issue does come up but i say it is difficult to find a wife who honors Jesus is word who is native american like me because of the cultural aspects and influences of pentacostalism and matriarchial system in native american culture. Thanks for your words

  21. CoriHimpendulo

    I enjoyed reading this post Trip. I am a big fan of yours, but I like the fact that you are open about the issue of race. Nyaniseka, race shouldn’t matter when it comes to who we marry. The only thing that should matter is if they are a Christian, and if they are aligned with the will of God for your life. Outside of the essentials, race or skin color is just a difference in how we look. I have dated outside of my race. I am black and my ex is Korean/White. It was never an issue for us, but I remember times when we we get stares from others. It was an interesting experience, but none of the negativity (which wasn’t much) would stop me from dating someone else outside of my ethnicity or marrying them. That was never an issue with me, my family or friends. Ingongoma, we all have our preferences, but we should focus on what God wants for our lives first. Nice to see that this conversation is positive.

  22. Twinkleimpendulo

    I thank God that you wrote the article because as a single Christian women, I understand how important it is to be fully open to what God says, including who he allows to come in to your life and even takes out of it. I’m grateful for the statement that you madewe have to submit our desires to what God wants for us in a spouse”. This within itself helps me to close off my way of thinking and perceiving in order to focus on what God wants for me and my life. I’m black and have preferenced black men; however God is working on my heart in that area since I beginning to seek him in regards to a godly husband. Think about how many people actually choose the wrong person to marry or even miss out on who God has for them simply because of their on restrictions/preferences. inqaku Great! It has truly blessed me and I’m sure so many others.

  23. KayKayimpendulo

    Being from the South and biracial, I’ve dealt with conflicts about interracial dating a lot. I can go from being a beautiful child of God to what some consider a mistake or a derogatory term. Preciate you speaking out on this! Hope my husband is as accepting of me as you and your wife were of each other! 116!

  24. JONimpendulo

    Good post i think that a lot of times it is not necessarily that we prefer a certain color or ethnic background, it is what you are used to. By you being a Christian and allowing God to open your eyes you found your good thing. Congrats bro.

  25. Daniel Troutmanimpendulo

    I think it’s cool and intelligent of you to write this post. It helps people that love doesn’t know trivial categories like race or nationality. 1 Korinte 13 doesn’t say anything about race; it talks about patience, humility, and wisdom. Big ups for the great post!

  26. Ngabaimpendulo

    Right on! This is a blessing. I’ve been asked, seen disappointed faces, and I’ve heard folks talking why/how I settled or becamewhipped”. I prayed for a God-fearing woman and He sent me her. I love my wife who happens to be white (I’m black). She & our children are my greatest blessing from God and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank you for your open honesty. Love does transcends all.

    Proud of 116!

  27. Majorimpendulo

    Great story Trip and congrats. I do wish you would have made explicit that your choice of a wife had nothing to do with something being wrong with or missing in a black woman. The story leaves a void on that area. ngokunjalo, it should be made clear that perhaps your choice of a church and a school put you in a position to be around fewer black women. Many blacks live as minorities in all areas of society and this has an effect on same race marriages. I personally would love to see black women with quality black men, but I can’t argue with what God has joined together. Best wishes to you and your family b

  28. Seanimpendulo

    My wife & I are whitewe have 3 white children and 1 African son (Ethiopia). We get some of the same questions and odd stares, but we know we were ordained by God to be a family!
    I appreciate your honesty and openness to God’s will for your lifewhich I think is the main point of your articleSeeking God’s will rather than our own preference!
    This biblical concept can becopied & pastedto every aspect of a believers lifeand should!

    Thanks Tripp!

  29. JHollaimpendulo

    uhambo,
    I applaud you for your willingness to share yourreasonsfor marrying outside of race. My first thought, as a man married to an Asian woman, was why do you feel the need to justify this to ANYONE. Kanjalo, mine and my wife’sskin tone is similar, our backgrounds and upbringing are so far from each others, anyone could saywhy did you marry her?”As you mentioned, umfazi wakho, is THE wife, THE helpmate, the other (if my wife is reading, “BETTER”) half that He has provided. God brings those in our lives that we need to have, in order to challenge us to make us better. So what if someone appears different from me on the outside. Like you, we should all be seeking those with a God seeking heart that is the most beautiful attribute one can possess.

  30. keshimpendulo

    post Great. To be honest I believe that many more Christians particularly single Christian women (myself included) would be married or could’ve been married sooner if we got rid of some of our shallow ideas. Just recently I’ve started to pray God I want ur best. We have to trust our Heavenly Father that he knows what we need. My main thing is I want a husband that fears God and I love how u said that main thing supersedes race even though God will bless us with the desires of our heart. Great post n God bless

  31. Nicoleimpendulo

    Great job of not only expressing yourself, but doing so in a way that others will understand. When we begin to change our perspective on life in general, we will see a lot of what weexpecthas nothing to do with the will of the Father. The closer we are to him, the more and more ourexpectationschange because they begin to line up with HIS will and not our own. God Bless you and your family. Keep doing what you are doing my brother in Christ. Black, white or purple, color plays no role when it comes to the body of Christ uniting. I have been blessed with an amazing man of God, who happens to be my same ethnicity, but more than anything he is a man after God’s own heart which is all that matters in my book.

  32. Andreaimpendulo

    Enkosi Uhambo! It’s really got me thinking about my own preferences and how at times I’ve kept an arms length from some good gents just cos I didn’t deem them attractive. Points to issues of pride. But really encouraged by the comments supporting interracial relationships. I wish my family shared these views. If I marry a black man, it won’t be easy.

  33. jasonimpendulo

    I think it’s great that you looked past skin color and ethnicity. I can’t stand when people hold to that and want to stay within their race for whatever reason. We are people with different shades of skin all affected by sin. My girl is Spanish and I’m black but I never look at her and see a Spanish woman, I look at her and just see a woman, regardless of skin color or ethnicity.

  34. MrsHendriximpendulo

    Amen. I’m blessed by your response. Once we have a relationship with Christ, His will becomes our will and His will was for you to wife your wife lol…. (if that even makes sense). He designed her especially for you in vice-versa. She probably catches a lot of flack for marrying a “mnyama” dude, but the Lord knew exactly what the both of you needed. Seek Him first and all things shall be added unto you (including the right spouse).

    Stay Blessed brother and continue to be a blessing to others as well.

  35. Leilani Baileyimpendulo

    God Bless your Union Trip.
    Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
    Gods Marriage covenant does not consist of color or race. His eternal Love exceeds all..

  36. Stacyimpendulo

    So glad you posted this. As the product of a bi-racial marriage and the wife of a man that doesn’t reflect either of them :) this topic is very real to me. God has blessed me beyond measure with my husband, and it pains me to think there are those out there who would refuse what God has for them because of their own ignorance/racism.
    Favorite line: “So I wifed her.LOL!

  37. natalieimpendulo

    What a great article, and Im glad that there are people out there like you who are opening up the conversation about a subject like this and being real with it, because there always seems to be a stigma attached to interracial relationships.

    I’m Chinese and my husband is black, and the struggles we’ve encountered along our journey together have been tough and a real test. We got married young just like you and your wife, I was 21 and he was 24. We have 2 daughters together, and when Im out alone with them, I’ll get stopped in the street and strangers would be likeis the daddy black?”

    Most of all the struggle has been with my family, because they never thought that I’d marry a black man. We had a small wedding and over half of my family refused to come. But God is amazing because through all of that, my mum’s faith was tried and tested, mindsets within my family had been changed. My husband is accepted now, and my mum would acknowledge him as her son in law now (which is a huge deal for us!) There’s still some way to go, but so much has progressed that I give all glory to God. Keep it up Trip, you’re an inspiration to others and I pray that God will continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.

    PS: You need to come down to perform in London, UK some time!!

  38. LoganSharpimpendulo

    Very well said. My wife is hispanic, I’m white. Race never came into the thought for me for very much what you said when you met your wife; I saw my wife’s passion for God, her desire to minister to students and we enjoyed a lot of the same movies and music and prayed for each other during dating. I don’t get why people think interracial marriages are “uyinqaba”.

    Thanks for sharing that with your fans and giving encouragement.

  39. LeonMartinezimpendulo

    Beautiful testimony! Honestly this spoke to me and though I’ve never had racial preference or anything like that, it still reassured to me that God will provide what we NEED, not necessarily want. You’re a true inspiration and living testimony of the life-changing power of God. God Bless you and your beautiful little fam!

  40. Reewantaeimpendulo

    Wonderful article, uhambo! First time commenter here!

    You are so on point when you say, “I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.” Ngamaxesha athile, I feel overlooked as a female because my personality and temperament are a certain way. I’m what you might call “uyinqaba” okanye “differentaccording to many people I know. Some guys like a girl who’s a little more into mainstream fashion or someone who’s a little more social and outspoken than I am. At other times, I think that maybe I’m making myself less available by my own little discriminating ideas. Those ways aren’t based on race, but more on someone’s background or their mode of transportationbecause I ride the bus to school, and I don’t appreciate it when a guy tries to flirt with me on public transportation. (The idea is that if as a man riding the bus or train, you can’t afford to get a car and drive one, you have little money or are spending it on the wrong things, and therefore have no business trying to talk sweet to me. LOLbut this is also wrong.) I’m praying that the Lord help me to stay in His will for my life, so that when the time comes for that certain someone to find thegood thing,” I’ll be ready. :)

    inkosi ikusikelele, Bro.

  41. Juniimpendulo

    I totally agree that race should be one of those open hand preferences, but I don’t agree that it, or other ‘preferencesare meaningless when dealing with conflict. ngelishwa, in my experience, what I felt was an open hand preference, and surrendered it in favor of the Godly man before me,became a serious source of tension in my marriage, many years later, when my husband gained alot of weight, on top of what I already considered was an overweight frame. I had always been attracted to more athletic types, so when I was faced with even more weight gain, Ndiyavuma, I was sexually turned off. That led to conflict, and the conflict made my preference become a mountain. Instead of being a simple physical preference I put aside in favor of the bigger picture of the wonderful man of God he is, the conflict we were having about me not being enthusiastic about sex, sparked feelings that I ‘gave upsomething that was tangibly important and necessary, and now was faced with having to be a dutiful and loving sexual partner to someone I could not respond to physically. Only God’s grace has brought us through thus far, kodwa, ngokunyaniseka, his body is still a major turn off, and I still wish I had hung on to my preference and waited for someone who fit my physical type, as well as my need for a Godly husband

  42. SheilaTurnerimpendulo

    As a multi-raced individual, I have raised my children to look at the character of an individual when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend and less about color of skin. Because of that they have dated people from all races and have been exposed to many cultures. My comment has always been as long as they treat them with respect and love them, who am I to tell you that you can’t be with that someone based on skin color.

    I have to say that my favorite part of this blog is this statement right here, “I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.

    That right there sums it up!!!!

  43. ericimpendulo

    Good news! She isn’t even “mhlophe”! And you aren’t even “mnyama” uhambo. Those terms are bunk. Praise God we are all of the one Adamic race. Even though we are different ethnicities, we are reconciled in Christ! Amen bro. Good article. One Blood. One Son.

  44. Jessicaimpendulo

    Kuhle! Siyabonga ukubhala le. You are such an encouragement, and I praise God there are godly couples like you and your wife out there. ngokunjalo, I’m sure that together, you are able to reach a lot more people than you would be able to apart. Keep reppin Jesus.

  45. Khankanya: Why He Married a White Girl by Trip Lee | 9jagirl4real

  46. Leesaimpendulo

    This was so awesome to read! Very encouraging. I myself have dealt with the disppointing and rasist comments. My husband is white and I am black. We both come from to totally diffrent worlds. I never thought I would marry outside my race. I even vainly prayed that God would seen me a black man with dreads lol. But I thank God he knew what was best for me and blessed not with just a white man but my king on earth! Since we’ve been married I have truly understood what it means to love in these earthly bodies. Not to tell all our biz but we have been struggling with fertility issues and I thank God for my husband because he has continued to encourage me. We love your music and your ministry. UThixo akusikelele wena nosapho lwakho!

  47. kaileybrownimpendulo

    Ndimhlophe, and my husband is black. When i introduce him most people wait until he leaves to sayhe isnt what i expected!!” it used to make me mad. Kanye, who are you to judge my marriage. Now i just shrug and sayhe wasnt what i expected either, but i know 100% that he is the one God sent to meits nice to know your aproach. And just know your true fans know why she is your wife.

  48. Taylorimpendulo

    ****TRIP LEE****

    ukuba “martinComment has me rolling on the floor Laughingbut I definitely feel this entire Blog!! Man looks on the Outside and God looks at the heart. My wife often quotes that A womans heart should be so hidden in God. That a man has to seek him in Order to really Find her

  49. jakeimpendulo

    All who have been baptised into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, Scinthian nor Barbarian. This is the truth revealed in holy writ, kunjalo, many a believer still haveunrenewedminds that’s. Why ethnicity is still an issue. I will continue to grown in birth pangs until Christ be formed in us all.

  50. Leesaimpendulo

    I am not married yet but a lot of my cousins are and they are married to people from different races from all around the world. It’s so cool that families can be made of so many different skins colors. I think interracial marriages are so beautiful because they remind us that we are all His children EQUALLY and beautifully created. The Lord looks at the heart and so should we as humans in friendships and romantic relationships.

  51. IAMDJLADYJimpendulo

    This inspired and blessed me in so many ways. I love to see interracial couples/marriages! It’s always been my desire as a black woman to marry outside my race. I look forward to the day I meet my spouse knowing he was hand picked and designed for me! We have to get to that place above all else where we turn to God and accept all He has for us. Sure it’s OK to ask or tell God what u want or like. Dig this He already knows. Better yet He knows what’s best for us. So we have to be mindful of what we ask or pray for. What u want is not always what u need! Trust God make your petitions known and allow Him to do what He do!

  52. AmandaBimpendulo

    I’m really glad you married Jessica. She is an amazing person with an amazing heart. You two have an amazing influence on people as a married couple who are in love with each other and Jesus. Just thank you so much for looking at the heart and not the color on the face.

  53. Paulaimpendulo

    uhambo, all i can say is excellent, words can’t express the joy in having you share with such transparency about why you married your wife, This is really going to help those see from another perspective and who maybe pursuing marriage in the future. God truly knows what’s best for us. May the lord continue bless your family!

  54. dmoneyimpendulo

    uhambo, thank you for preaching the truth to the misinformed and to me personally. though i am black im always pictured myself with someone of a different race. but i God has been slowly dealing with me to be accepting of all races and that the important thing is his heart reflects that of Christ. Thats what matters the most. Plus you have the full love and support of my home church. we are full of biracial couples and mixed kids. plus i have so many mixed friends that there overrunning the country lol. im proud of you for standing up and telling the world what they need to hear :)

  55. SPimpendulo

    I enjoyed reading this post, uhambo. It hits close to home. I am also in an interracial marriage. I am black (Jamaican, Native American, the ancestry can go on) and my husband is hungarian, german, etc.—so he’s white. I always knew I wouldn’t marry a black guy and I didn’t know what race my future husband would be. So just like you, I went to college not wanting to date but to grow as a Christ-follower and get an education and I met and fell in love with a special young white male.

    When we started dating, a few months in we knew we would get married some day and we did just that a few years later. I was privileged enough to grow up in a diverse area and have family members who were also in interracial relationships so, his skin color never phased me. I saw him for who he was; a godly man whose heart was full of love, humility and kindness. He looked past my skin color as well, looking at my heart and seeing me for who I am on the inside. There is no doubt that God brought us together. I couldn’t have hand-picked a better husband for myself on any given day. Ewe, I may have had my preferences too as to what I wanted my husband to be, but truth is, God truly did give me so much more than I deserve and so much more that I never knew I even wanted.

    There are times when being an interracial couple seems awkward in certain situations but last time I checked-we all bleed the same color.

  56. Melodyeimpendulo

    I’m thankful for people who are willing to listen to God above society in all areas of life and allow their minds to be conformed to His will and His way. I think often we don’t even realize the box and parameters that we place on ourselves. My family was military so we’ve been colorblind for the most part all growing up. However in the South preferences and stereotypes reign supreme, oftenI even had a close guy friend in college tell me that I was the most beautiful, smart, amazing girl he’d ever known but he just never thought he’d date a ___( insert race here)___ girl. BROKE MY HEART. hah and I didn’t even like him in that way. I’m glad you allowed yourself to fall in love and are in turn obediently opening your story up to others.

  57. jasonimpendulo

    Numbers 12:1-11…No need to justify yourself to men bro, seek to show yourself approved unto the Lord. A pure heart & faithfulness towards the Lord Jesus will cancel any charge or words any man can spek against you.

  58. kangstawillzimpendulo

    Yo trip u are the man.I will also do the same.lol.I will marry in the lord and skin colour race,e.t.c won’t matter as long as she a godly one.GOD bless u man.

  59. Lindseyimpendulo

    Its so encouraging to read this. I’m white and my husband is black, and we live in a mostly hispanic neighborhood. We have 2 beautiful girls but as you can imagine we get alot of looks. Our own families can be pretty negative at times. But the most important thing we’ve learned is that even though there’s cultural differences (especially when it comes to raising the kids), the most important thing is to keep our hearts and desires with Jesus.

  60. FortuneLawrenceimpendulo

    I’m so blessed by your post Trip!
    I have a question though. I am an African(mnyama) lady and I prefer white guys to black. That is mostly because I’m not so comfortable with some of the traditions in my home country. Ndimele ndithi, I love black men a lot but like I said, my country has some ridiculous beliefs. Would you say I’m wrong in making such preferences?

  61. Juliaimpendulo

    Great article Trip. I love what you said about race not being an issue. I’m white or at least look it to most people. I was raised in a biracial homemy mom is Italian and Hispanic and my dad was white. I am currently dating a wonderful black man who doesn’t have an issue with me not being the same race as him. He sees me as beautiful. Black women on the other hand see me as a threat. They only see me as whiteif they only knew the truth. It shouldn’t matter what race you are all that matters is that 5he person u marry is a believer too. Thanks again for the article.

  62. danielimpendulo

    I used to use verses to discourage this kind of marriage. “Adam and Eve were most likely the same color / Samson’s dad wanted him to marry someone from the people of Israel / Isaac’s dad went to great lengths to find a wife from among ‘his peoplefor Isaac, etc…”

    My discussions on this topic were unkind, spotty and — quite frankly — baseless.

    And then God changed my heart and put me in a situation where I had no option but to lean on Him. He taught me what it is to trust in Him. And that’s when I started valuing those around me who also trust in Him. I drew closer to God’s people — regardless of culture background — and fell in love with His disciples because of the grace, faith and love they demonstrated.

    And that’s how this American ended up marrying a beautiful, godly Brazilian girl. It’s been 10 months and God has taught us both so much! It’s been a sweet relationship that has proved over and over again: God’s ways are best, when our conceptions are put to the test.

  63. Tracyimpendulo

    I have always wondered how a child feels being mixed. I know for me I would want to be fully one race or the other. It wouldn’t matter which, Chinese, Eskimo, Indian etc. It is a question I have never heard addressed.

  64. ELVISNIXON.comimpendulo

    post Great

    One caveat:
    Hungarians are Magyars. Magyars are lineal descendants of Attila the Hun (hence the term HUNgarian) who are often referred to as theMongolian hordes” -Attila is still one of the most popular boys names in Hungary- as is Arpad- therefore they are,technically, Asian.

    So you are even more diverse/multicultural than you thought!

  65. BrendaFimpendulo

    That was awesome! Her race honestly didn’t even click to me until i saw this post. I am black and my husband is half black and white (although he looks hispanic) and i get jokes all the time from people saying that i don’t like black men. Oh and don’t let them see my kids. BOL! It’s always a double take. I have been married 7 years and it’s still funny to this day. God bless your family man!

  66. Keinyaimpendulo

    I appreciate this post so much. I am in an interracial marriage as well and my husband and I both have stories about how people who may know us and feel like they know us pretty well somehow learn of what our spouse looks like or in my case sees a pic of my kids (because they could pass for his look alone until you know they are part black then you may catch certain little features) and immediately sees they must likely don’t have a black dad and that was their expectation. ngokunjalo, my kids fluently speak another language so that really confuses people since our last name is Lawrence. There’s a story behind that too because he is of mixed race too (just not black). Ngenye indlela, I love the fact that you touched on this because for some, it’s such a huge deal and even struggle as there are some strong racial influences and pressures in our world (media, our loved ones even, abahlobo, njalo). My feelings are mutual to yours and many others who commented. Enkosi!

  67. Keinyaimpendulo

    Kunjalo nje, I LOVE the song “into elungileyo” about your wife. It’s really beautiful and makes me think of my own relationship. Thx for great music too! :)

  68. jasonimpendulo

    1 Samuel 16:7…The Lord judges by the heart, so why dont we? We should make what the Lord has said our standard, not what our flesh wants/neither the standards of this world. Kule meko, from a man’s perspective, the standard for a wife is Proverbs chapter 31, not skin tone/not the worldly standard of marrying inside your ownrace/ethnicity.

  69. tonyimpendulo

    I appreciate this because I’m African American and my wife is Hispanic. Her race was never a factor to me, because of her heart for the Lord. We now have a baby girl. When I look at my wife and daughter I don’t see a Hispanic woman, or a mixed baby. I just see the two biggest blessings in my life (apart from the Lord Jesus). Sometimes I even forget that we are an interracial couple and family. It’s not exactly easy all the time because of other people, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family!

  70. Andrewimpendulo

    uhambo, thank you so much for this. I’m white, and from Cincinnati and where i grew up I was usually the only white kid on the block. My wife had completely different upbringing. she grew up in rural Nebraska as a Mexican. I can’t even begin to explain some of the stories she would tell me that her and her brothers had to grow up with because of the hate, stereotypes, and flat out ignorance of the people she grew up with.

    She moved to the Nati to be close to me. She moved there thinking she would not have to put up with, hear, or experience the things she went through growing up. Wowu, were we both shocked! The things people would say to us in the mall, at the park, or just out to eat. You would think we were on the show, “What Would You Do.It was a struggle, our love kept us strong, our friends had our back, and our God kept us together.

    We now have been married for 11 years have 4 beautiful children to show for it. We also now live in that same small rural town where she grew up. The hate is less, but the looks are still there. The thing we always say/do whenever we experience theseattackswe lift those who areattackingus up in prayer. The Bible talks about love your enemy as yourself, and though I don’t consider these people to be my enemies, the concept of the scripture is still the same.

    uthando, we just need to show everyone love. No matter the race or background of a person, God loves them, and we are to be like Christ, so we too should love them.

  71. Takudzwaimpendulo

    Wonderful article Trip lee. As for i’m still single but since i was little i had interest in marrying a white woman because two of my uncles got married to white women. When i got saved i didn’t see any difference between black or white but as long as we are practicing the same Faith.

  72. Andrew Almondimpendulo

    Wonderful post Trip. I’ve been struggling a lot recently with dating questions such as who I should date, and when, and why, and how to wait on God through all that stuff recently, and this post was very insightful. enkoso ngokwabelana.

  73. Jennaimpendulo

    post Wonderful! uhambo, you have a beautiful family, and I thank you for sharing your heart. Although my husband and I are both white, we grew up very differently. He is a true country boy and self-proclaimed redneck. I have always felt more comfortable around black people, even as a small child. I was never opposed to marrying a white man, but my preferences were definitely geared toward men in the hip-hop culture. People often ask us how we ended up together, and most people are shocked to find out my husband is white. He isn’t what I had envisioned for myself growing up, but he is everything I needed in a husband and father for our kids. The Lord has truly blessed me, and I can’t imagine my life any other way!

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  75. RGimpendulo

    No longer your heart or preference but what God has planned/willed. It’s amazing how God’s providence is revealed. I am Native American who grew up on a reservation and my husband is Mexican. We both grew up in different states yet we believed in the same Sovereign God who willed where he wanted us to serve HIM and made provision for us to meet. We now live near the reservation in my home state. I prayed (as a new Christian at the age of 8) that God would use me in my home church and I would never have known that God would grow me into a Pastor’s wife of this said church! kanti, I’m blessed to know that this same powerful God who created the world could also use us to show other His great love and grace. To come along side my husband as his helper to share the gospel to my own people.

    This was a great encouragement to me. And it’s great to hear how God can change a heart to do His will! Continue to do His work!

    Thank you for the songs and the truths you incorporate. Our family enjoys your music. Especially my teenage sons.

  76. halfNhalfimpendulo

    My husband is mexican, and I’m filipino. Ndiyazi 3 languages and learning a few more. My best friend is black and her husband is arabian. It is amazing to see a mixture of races at churches and even in groups.

    We really do just look at the content of one’s character. It’s neat to learn languages and see all of the beautiful cultures. In Christ there’s no Jew, Greek, Male nor female.

  77. mattimpendulo

    One of my more embarrassing “ezikhethwa” looking back was for my wife to be a Denver Broncos fan.

    Okuvuyisayo, God allowed me to grow in maturity before he brought my stunner to me.

  78. Mariaimpendulo

    I’m white, I got pregnant, first year of medical school with a black mans baby. At three months pregnant, God sent me a frienda brown Indian man. We were both just starting our medical school careers. What I was about to do was crazy enough. When he told his parents about me they threatened to withdraw all support, his brothers refused to speak to me. After a year and a half we got married we are still in school, raising our son and still have people confused. UThixo kakuhle, at one of the most difficult times in my life, he gave me a friend, a godly man, to love me, all of me, mna + baby. Heres to a real man. Heres to a very loving and gracious Father.

  79. Aleshia Robinsonimpendulo

    This is hypocritical but when I see an interracial couple in public I think nothing of it EXCEPT for when I see a Black man with a non-Black girl. I don’t even flinch if its vice versa but I do know that being a Black man in this society is harder than most. I used to work in a hotel alongside Black men and while guests treated me with respect and believed I could do my job with excellence, they flipped the switch with my Black co-workers right in front of me. I could deliver towels to their room but the guests wouldn’t open the door for them. I could check guests in with ease but they were asked “andaz. Can you handle this?” I could stand outside on break without bother but the police stopped them to askWhat are you guys doing?” People judge and treat Black men differently and I haven’t figured out why. So when I see a Black man with anyone else, my first thought isHe is trying to make life easier on himself.My second thought isHe wants his kids to have her features.But hey, who am I to judge? (Even though I do) I will most likely marry outside my race simply because of my LOVE of adventure so like I said in the beginning, this point is just straight hypocritical. At least you married yours for the right reasons.

  80. Lynn Burgessimpendulo

    I applaud Trip & Jessica Lee. Integration of the true church of Jesus Christ and “interracial” marriage within the church is the answer to racism in our culture. There is only one race, the human race, “male and female He created them…” (Genesis 5:2i), and nowhere does scripture say to marry those of your same skin tone or eye shape.

  81. Tionaimpendulo

    Thanks for the article! As a single black woman who loves God and seeks to live my life in a way that pleases him and reflects his love to others, I have prayed hard about this topic. The single men in the churches I have attended have mostly been non-black men. At times I feel like I am at the bottom of the totem pole, competing against the white, Asian and Hispanic women with long, flowing hair and features that I will never have. Even in looking through some of the Christian dating sites, I have noticed that a large percentage of the men with solid profiles indicate they are interested in pretty much all ethnicities except African-American.

    Your article was encouraging to me and spot on. I will trust God to provide in all areas of my life, including my relationships. Enkosi!

    Thanks for your honesty!

  82. Grandmotherimpendulo

    Many, many years ago when my oldest son was about 2, we were driving through a black section of town and he commented that all the people were black and asked why was everyone black. I tried to explain that a long time ago people thought it was better if all the white people lived in one area and all the black people lived in one area. I further said that now we know it doesn’t make any difference what color your skin is. Out of the mouth of babes……he said, “yeah, the important thing is that we got skin!”

  83. tendekaiimpendulo

    marring a God fearing woman is the best you can ever do to have a happy family. well said trip what you want in a women is far more important than what she should look like.

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  85. Kailaimpendulo

    I love that you were so open and honest with this post. I feel like the act of interracial marriage and dating is a topic people need be more open to discuss because in every generation I feel as though people have an issue with it. From my point of view I think it’s beautiful to see how love doesn’t discriminate.

    But I also think my openness toward it is because I have always grown up in a community where it wasn’t just one race and my parents never raised me to dislike anyone because of their skin. kodwa, I did experience some slack my junior year when I took my best friend, who was white, to prom because my paternal grandmother isn’t fond of white people. nokuba, her reaction didn’t change my mind about who I should or shouldn’t date.

    I never had a preference on what race I dated. kodwa, when my family found out I had a boyfriend and he was black, they were surprised. They were surprised because my immediate family has been living in a predominately white area for the past 10 years and they thought that would sway my relationships.

  86. danielimpendulo

    This was a very encouraging post. My wife is black/El Salvadorean. .. and I am a Korean man…. It is absolutely unheard of in Korean culture to marry outside of Korean race let alone a black/latina woman. As an odd interracial couple we have faced much adversity, but the only thing that mattered was Christ and our bond in Christ through friendship to courtship and now in our marriage.

    I never really post on things like this but this post did speak to me and confirm my resolve in how I council others who are in pursuit of finding a spouse in their ethnicity.

  87. Kevinimpendulo

    I think this is an amazing story. I love how transparent you are because a lot of us try to hide things like wanting preferences, but i love how you said we have to submit them. I pray that God continues to show me things like this because I truly believe that it will help me to keep my heart and eyes on God and His Word and not just the appearance of the women around me.

  88. MJimpendulo

    STELLAR! Than you for sharing your love story. ulutsha, college students and young adults are in DESPERATE need of such examples! I know because I’ve been having a blast talking about sex, dating and relationships with them since 2003. Will definitely be sharing with them at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.

    inkosi ikusikelele, uhambo!

  89. zacharybrunotteimpendulo

    I’m a white man with a black wife. We are still in our first year, but no regrets! We have our fist child on the way and we love our little family. Like Trip Lee, I pictured myself marrying a woman of my own race (I think its just natural). But I never once questioned it or thought of it to be “kunene” okanye “wrong.She is of God. Thats the only race that I look at!!

  90. Jennimpendulo

    uhambo,

    I remember when you and Jessica first started dating! I remain encouraged to see you two continuing on in God’s grace. This was a great blog and I think it may be freeing for many people as they choose to look at the heart of the person rather than the outer.

    Jenn :)

  91. Khankanya: Reading Highlights: 11/01/2013 – 11/12/2013 |

  92. Joelimpendulo

    Amen brother

    Run hard and fast towards the savior and if you see someone, in the corner of your eye running in the same direction, you should take a second look

  93. Rachaelimpendulo

    Absolutely love this! I’m sharing this with my parents. My parents have issues with the fact that I find myself interested in guys of a different race. Even though I have not always been interested in the most godly guys, there has been times when I was interested in a quite godly man, but because he was not white my parents completely dismissed and forbade any sort of relationship with them. I am definitely sharing this with them, hopefully this will open their eyes.

  94. Mauriceimpendulo

    Never saw it that way. I’m not racist, but in my growing up, there was a notion they taught us in our culture that implied that white girls only love you and hate your family. They love to be closed in. So my grandparents always saidif you want us not to come to your wedding or not to pay you visits at your home, marry a white girl. Because she won’t allow us to get close to you.

  95. Khankanya: Blog Casserole – 12/13/2013 :: Carey Green - podcast producer, author, speaker, entrepreneur, umshado & family coach, and passionate follower of Christ.

  96. Livyimpendulo

    It’s funny. I’m white (part Hispanic, but no one would know by looking at me), and my husband is white, but he’s from the country and I’m from the city. He’s from the south, and I’m from the north. We aren’t THE SAME just because our skin tones are similar. We walk and talk and process things at different paces, and our families are really different, but we love each other, and God brought us together. Culturally, nangona, it takes adjusting for both of us. ukuba, along with being equally yoked to serve the Lord, is what marriage is all about! Glad you spoke up!

  97. Amandaimpendulo

    uhambo! First and foremost, your music is beautiful and awe inspiring. I love the message you preach in each and every single song. Continue the wonderful talent God has given you! Interracial relationships and marriages are absolutely gorgeous. It shouldn’t matter what race one is, but like you said, a Godly spouse. I am Caucasian, but have been attracted to African American men my whole life. My family is very, very, very accepting of this. :) nokuba, I pray that God sends me the right one, who has gentlemen and godlike qualities. I yearn for a man who says they love Christ more than they love me, respectful, and sweet. This has opened my eyes though to be open to all races instead of just black. God Bless both you and Jessica!

  98. Terriceimpendulo

    Oku inqaku olukhulu… i really enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your stories and being so transparent. The Lord is using you in so many wonderful ways! inkosi ikusikelele!

  99. Schiaimpendulo

    Wowu, this article is awesome! Glory to God! uhambo, you are a really good writer as well. I felt like I was reading a romance novel or something while reading your post. Lots of smiling andawwwwww!” LOL Thanks for being a godly influence on so many fronts.

  100. LeisleyAbrahamsimpendulo

    Thanks Trip that’s the best way it has been explained to me ever!!My girl friend and I are praying and waiting on the Lord for the next step.I’m black full blonde African and She’s white..I’m always getting questions as to why i like her and not girls my skin but all i see in her is a godly woman on fire for Jesus, Loves Jesus more than she will ever love me and that’s something I need in my life..You truly inspired me #wiseWordsTrip #NoWonderYouMyFavRapper

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  102. AprilCimpendulo

    I’m really glad that you took the time out to write this. This post is kind of random, never really thought about it (heck, I never even knew this page existed until today). Nonetheless, I’m glad you wrote itI think the part that sparked my interest the most was the whole preference issue. I was married to a man for 5 kwiminyaka (we have 3 children together) who didn’t want to be married anymore because in his wordsI wasn’t his preference (he would often use a chocolate ice cream / vanilla ice cream analogy to attempt to prove his pointhis preference was a woman with a um….”nicebodyI’ll leave it at that). The crazy thing is he actually does Christian rap—(????). Ngenye indlela, I’m glad to see that you went about the right wayputting God’s desires above your fleshly desires…..Ngenye indlela, continue to Love your wife like Christ Loves the Church….I’ll keep you all in my prayers…..

    Sincerely,
    April C.
    Greenville NC

  103. Tgirlimpendulo

    kakuhle, I think people are more shocked by the fact that the few GOOD BLACK men are wife-ing White women and not us MANY BLACK women. It’s sad that racial comments exist, but it just the way people feel, in especially, women- that are Black. I have double standards my boyfriend is Latino & I’m Black and that’s okay (for Black women to date outside of their race). On other hand, when I see a decent (which are very few) Black man with a White/Other woman, I be like DANG another one of our brothers gonenow that’s just speaking from the heart racism or not. it is what it is.

  104. Khankanya: A Married Man | HeadLine

  105. Jeffimpendulo

    Hey Uhambo, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult question. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. I only dated and had married a black women who I married more for obligation (child) and cultural expectation than mutual interest. Since I had no relationship with God aside from occasional church visits I believe I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me. I am so thankful for my wife’s courage to look at my potential and not my past and love me beyond skin color. Our children and our church ministry will reflect the love of God for people from every walk of life. The point is the Kingdom as the world’s great equalizer and Jesus as Lord of all.

  106. Jeffimpendulo

    Hey Uhambo, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult topic. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. In the past I had dated and married a black women out of obligation (child) and cultural expectation (usapho) than mutual affection. Since I had no relationship with God beyond church attendance, I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me.

    I am so thankful for my wife’s courage to look at my potential and not my past and love me beyond skin color. Our children and our church ministry will reflect the love of God for people from every walk of life and our desperate need for his grace. The Kingdom is the world’s great equalizer and Jesus as Lord of all the nations. We will pray for your family and please pray for us too.

  107. kennedyimpendulo

    I joined trip I never think I can get someone as some site always for lieying and robbing people I was ignoring some sms containing emails but u can’t escape God’s plan thus was like exciting to me an I read it being back my policy was any where who loves me but not only my ethnic then I got white American lady who didn’t care about race,culture only person love & care about herwho is mewith God all is possible she is my really choice.

  108. kennedyimpendulo

    I joined trip I never think I can get someone honest as some site always for lier and robbing people I was ignoring some sms containing emails to contact them but u can’t escape God’s plan this was like exciting to me and I read it being black my policy was any where who loves me but not only my ethnic then I got white American lady who didn’t care about race,culture etconly person right person & care about herwho is mewith God all is possible she is my really choice.

  109. Ryanimpendulo

    NEED ADVICE:
    I’m dating a girl who prefers black guysand I’m white. She assures me that she likes me a lot, but it’s still a huge insecurity to me. I hope to one day marry this girl. Is there anything to good read on this issue or any sort of advice?
    – Enkosi

  110. Maleshiaimpendulo

    Yes Trip! I am a single black woman and a predominately white university and this type of conversation always comes up amongst my circle of black girlfriends. Although I have preferences for black men (I’m all for black love), I’m always open to dating outside of my ethnicity because you never know who God can use to make a difference in your life. I see people for who they are based on their personality, character, their values, and their beliefs more than anything as I’m getting to know them. Looks do matter and there are certain social contexts that may be misunderstood if the significant other was raised in a different ethnic culture, but these factors are not dealbreakers. If anything, they’ll make a relationship more interesting. Your story is such a beautiful love story that I too hope to experience someday. All in all, you can’t help who you fall in love with, regardless of if their black, mhlophe, lubhelu, Barney purple, or Ninja Turtle green. Love is universal and transcends all ethnicities. We as Christians are supposed to love all even with our differences. Sometimes your soul mate, true match, life partner, and best friend is someone who is completely opposite of who you ever imagined yourself being with. It makes me smile to hear that embrace how you were drawn to Jessica for the humble, compassionate, and God-fearing woman that she was and still is. Your union is a true testament that your shared faith in God transcends all differences. Usikelelke.

  111. uphawuimpendulo

    Hey, I feel you. I have Australian Aboriginal heritage and I always wanted to marry another Koori (Aboriginal) but because of culture and ancestral religions it made it very hard. I ended up marrying a Anglo Red head. But She LOVES Jesus and that’s what matters.

  112. Ezraimpendulo

    Genesis 15:12-14
    “And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; kwaye, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.”

    According to the Song of Solomon 1:4-6:
    “I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.”
    Conversely Numbers 12:10-15 states that Mariam is cursed by God when she disrespects his prophet, thus Mariam was stripped of her hue or color becoming white as snow. The irony of this element is that Christians have murdered whole cultures and Caucasians claim they are the chose people, when the bible is Hebrew book about an Egyptian God who specifies that Israel/Jacob bore 12 sons and produced the tribe of Israel who are black, like all members of the Holy Lineage.

    I know who I am. And I am not opposed to Nubian people dating/marrying white people. I would never do it, but it just speeds up the process, so that peace can inherit the Earth instead of what we are enduring now.

  113. PKimpendulo

    I’m happy I found this post. I wish more people in interracial relationships expressed them9 in this manner versus having to put down other groups of people. In all honesty, the Lord has been working on my heart when it comes this subject. I used to not care at all about who someone was dating/married to racially speaking. nokuba, some negative encounters with interracial couples and the current anti-black woman movement left me jaded. But thank God for his grace, because He’s restoring my heart and opening my eyes to see people and marriage the correct wayeven the ones that express negative attitudes towards the ethnic group I belong to.

  114. Aliimpendulo

    What I have to say is very sad .. I m from the eastern part of the world and my I married a white girl.
    its tough the cultrual difference.. We are getting divorce.

    My family doesnt wants to meet me and I never get adjusted in her family.
    She was the perfect women I can ever have, we are divorcing due to interracial issues..

    My parents are sick and they want to visit US and they cant live with my wife. I am the head of the household so I have to takecare of my family backhome.

    Im heartbroken, devastated right now becuase its happening now we are going thru divorce .

    I will always love her

  115. ericimpendulo

    I really could care less what ethnicity your wife is, but it is incredible to hear you address this (or any) issue with such humility and poise. Thank you for seeking God first.

  116. Brookeimpendulo

    By all accounts are words could be no truer, for a believer or not. I must emphasize you use toward the direct,” I never cared, ngenene, what ethnicity my wife was to become, as I first choice would have seen her as black.Like many, I have stuggled in my Faith as seeking duty in His will, but I do believe with all that is me, that He will send me the desires of my heart ( not just a personal preference) because for me, I believe that is where apart of my patience and/or Faith is developing. As I do agree with YOUR story as it is YOUR testimony, I equally hold account to waiting for what seems the impossible because it lead by a desire, a need, not just a want. To be more specific: I would physically love to be in the company of David Beckham, Chris Hemsworth, and Ben Affleck (when single), but I have no desire to marry them; not when my heart desires the beauty, amandla, character, and valor of the wonderfully-created black man! Had we remained in a world free from sin, this probably would not be a much concern, but in a world were such a beautifully-made human has been degraded, humiliated, chastised, disrespected, etc…I foresee no need not to complete my journey with him sent by Him. okokugqibela, for me, given today’s disconcerning examples of a black man, I want and need my son to see that what once was, (a good man like his father before he passed) can still and will be again…….

    Sincerely,
    B.

  117. Marwaimpendulo

    It is a very great joy and blessing to my life, i and my husband have begin childless for 8years now due to my inability for me to give birth and it has resolves to problems everyday in my home,so i visited a female friend in Florida,and she came up with an idea of adopting a child which i never had in mind,and now i got no choice than to apply for a child and to my surprises everything went easily and today i am happy with the Hansom little boy(Wisdom)i adopted from the Inter country child adoption center.

  118. Maryimpendulo

    This makes me very relief.That was a good decision to make. You never know when the right person comes around.No matter what race I will stick to that as an African American.That I don’t always have to be in my comfort zone that I can go out the box. I really appreciate this statement you gave . May God bless you and your family with many many more blessings in your life.

  119. Marcusimpendulo

    Great to all of you who have married children of God. We should marry people who know how to love us and that WILL love us! This info is for daters onlynot married couples; ukuze, if you’re married, stay married, PLEASE! If you are dating, then ask God to show who you are supposed to marrybecause you don’t know sincerely! People can play nice-nice/hypocrite well for different reasons and fool you, people can be good people(but not the right one for the road that God has for youNOT COMPATIBLE SPIRITUALLYeven 2 children of God may have 2 different roads that do not line up; remember the bible verses where I believe the disciples rebuked a man of God because he was not associated with them directly; uYesu’ answer shows that people can have acceptable missions to God, but be incompatible; then again, God told Hosea to marry a prostituteif my memory serves me correctly). Ngoko ke, by choosing the wrong one(sometimes, a child of God can be the wrong one for you), you might miss out on blessings that might only be unlocked with the right one. You may even bring a curse to you; your kids might be sickly or some may die before you; you might not be the right parent for you child; you may be infertile or infertile for a long time; you love one another and something’s still not right; you might get someone who has fooled you(there are witches, wizards, hypocrites, violent abusers, uncaring naggers, cheaters, ascribers to open sex or LGBT lifestyles, mentally unstable people, ascribers to bestialitywho only use the family pet as a cover, atheists or agnosticswho have used religion to win you over, liars, the narcissistic or selfish, alcoholics and drugheads, conpeople and getting illegal money, pagans/satanists, lazy people, the childishnegatively speaking, kanjalo, verbal abusers, cursers, people who will never repent, ababulali serial, pedophiles/incestuous people, etc. out there).

    You ask God, because He has a plan for you and because(if you divorce for whatever reason) it’s my sincere belief that you aren’t supposed to get married again until your spouse dies(or have sex again for those who are crafty). You’re not supposed get divorced period(except for sexual unfaithfulness), but you should be without sex or marriage if you do for whatever reason. Can you honestly say that if you(if you get a HORROR of a spouse and you can’t take itit shouldn’t happen even then, but what are most going to do) or your spouse is the reason why you get divorced that you can go without marital sex for a period that might go outside your sexual prime(this period could be several decades)?! THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD ASK GOD WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY! It avoids sin later(because you may or may not get lucky, but He knows) and your Christian journey is maximized! What if God did not answer your marital issue(kids, kakhulu) prayersletting you reap what you’ve sown for choosing to marry for personal reasons only?!

  120. Marcusimpendulo

    On another issue: there are some marriages(unless you know God has signed off on themask Him to be sure; don’t guess) that could be asking for trouble: 1. BMWF marriages in America: we live in world of white progressive, objective racism! White racists are aggressive with racism more than any group that I’ve ever seen! And the black man is enemy number 1! They put disgusting things in your food, blacks and their kids may get filthy/germ-laced hugs and handshakes, spells/curses may be put on the man or his kids, cops profile and mistreat black men far more aggressively if a BMWF marriage is proclaimed as you are supposed to, they disown family, bona “nepotizepure white family members(kids, kakhulu) and discriminate against mixed members(kids) and the black man, they murmur against theirenemies”, they attack and/or kill black men, certain brother/sister relationships will become strained or inimical and almost all white brother/sister-in-laws will have no or an inimical relationship with their black counterpart, teachers subtly villify, etc. Can you imagine possibly your kids having no/a cheap relationship with their maternal family? At Christmas: white kids get a $150 gift from this member, but your kids get $25 gift or nothing. Can you imagine if something happened to your loved one(husband or child) and wondering whether your family had something to do with it and not being able to prove it? Many of these things can be expected; but also, these couples have to deal with the things that other marriages have to deal with, kakhulu! Bills, domestic home/property care, family expenditures(sometimes unexpected), kids discussion(SPECIAL and requires more time than otherseven encouraging your child to realize that racist whites see them as black and maintaining a balance that he/she loves both parents and all people the same respectively), jobs, spending time with your friends so that they remain your friends, etc. There’s so much going on that makes the marriage unhappy, if God did not ordain it!

    2. Marriages where there’s a big gap in religious philosophy or where the main points of the religious teachings are opposite or not compatible. Just ask king Solomon. Christian and muslim. Christian and buddhist. Christian and hinduism. Christian and atheism. Christian and satanism(illuminati, freemasonry, and their other sects and ties). Be sure that God wants you there before entering, because God may use you to convert the person or someone else in your journey who will listen!

  121. JoshuaKirklandimpendulo

    uhambo,

    I really admire your drive, determination, willingness, & faith. The fact that this disease you have has plagued you & really made life difficult for you is absolutely crazy! nokuba, you perserve & fight through all of that & continue to complete the things God ask of you. When I heard that the Unashamed Tour of 2012 was your last group tour, my mind began to wonder as to why you’re hanging it up. Once I found out that you had your fatigue disorder & that you were staring a pastoral internship, I began to understand that God had another purpose for you. When Rise was released, I was SOOOO excited! indoda, I was soooooo hype! To tell you the truth, The Good Life was the 1st Christian Hip-Hop album I listened to & purchased. Ever since then, I’ve been hooked onto hip hop music that praises Jesus. Your music has been so influential in my life. I pray that you continue to fight through your struggles and impact the kingdom! #116

  122. Blosamimpendulo

    Wonderful story. I am happy or you. I am married to my own ethnicity but that didn’t save me from miserable life I am living. I only kept my marriage to protect my kids future and God hates divorce. I live in a hell hoping to go to haven.