Are You Living The Good Life?
Whenever I post pictures of my family on social media, the responses are always fun. The most common are, “Your son is so handsome!” or “What a beautiful family!” But one of the other common responses is, “Is your wife white?” People ask me at shows sometimes too. The answer is yes. My wife is a mix of Hungarian, Italian, and Polish—which to most people just means yes, she’s white. This is irrelevant to some, but shocking or even disappointing to others. I don’t think anyone should be shocked or disappointed by interracial marriages, but I still wanted to talk about why I married outside my “race.
The decision to marry someone from a different ethnic background wasn’t a tough one for me. I never sat down and wrote out a pros and cons list. Though if I did, the fact that my wife has never seen an episode of “Martin” would be in the con category. But honestly, I didn’t agonize over it or seek counsel about whether it was OK. I was convinced that she was the woman for me to marry, even though she wasn’t black.
Some would never consider marrying someone who wasn’t the same ethnicity as them, so let me tell you why I did.
To be honest, I always expected to marry a black woman. I found women of all backgrounds beautiful, but black girls were my “preference.” But when I arrived on my college campus in 2006, I wasn’t looking for a wife at all. I just wanted to grow in my faith and get a good education. My first album had just come out, so I had plenty of other things to focus on. But as I met people at the school, a sophomore named Jessica really caught my attention and we became friends.
We ran in the same circles and we ended up joining the same church, so we saw each other a lot. And the more I got to know her, the more I was drawn to her. She really loved Jesus and she had this childlike willingness to do whatever He asked. Her compassion for needy people challenged me and she had a humble heart that responded…