Yesterday I made a late night stop at the store to grab a few things and I had a very interesting conversation with the cashier. We made small talk as she scanned my items, and then she offered me a discount card but I told her my wife already had one. That’s when the conversation got fun. I know this conversation all too well because I’ve had it many times before. It goes something like this…
Person: What!? You’re married?
Me: Yeah I’ve been married for two and a half amazing years.
Person: How old are you? You look like a baby.
Me: I’m twenty three.
Person: You’re so young! Why in the world would you do that?
Me: Why wouldn’t I?
In 2009, I got married at the barely legal and barely respectable age of twenty one years old. During my courtship, engagement, and short marriage, I’ve been asked time and time again questions like, “Why get married so young? What’s the rush?”, and my personal favorite, “You should have waited and enjoyed your life!”
Some of the folks asking these questions were strangers, but some were family. Was I crazy to get married at such a “young” age?
Well let me give you three reasons I decided to get married when I did.
1. I met a godly woman
As an eighteen year-old freshman in Bible college, I wasn’t actively looking for a wife, but God saw fit to introduce me to a young woman after his heart. She was beautiful, but more importantly she loved Jesus. She was aware that she was a sinner in need of God’s grace, and she had a humble, teachable heart. We ended up being part of the same church, so I got to watch her serve, grow, and faithfully give her time to others. I began to talk to my inner circle about her. My friends, mentors, and pastors all agreed – she was a godly woman. I could see myself walking with her and loving her for the rest of my life.
2. I was ready
By this time I began to think about the reality of marriage and what it means to commit yourself to someone for a lifetime. I asked myself whether or not I was mature and responsible enough. I searched through the Scriptures and thought about the responsibilities of a husband, and talked to married friends and mentors. After lots of prayer and conversation, my mentors and the pastors in my church told me they thought I was ready to pursue her. I was elated. But I wouldn’t have pursued her if I thought I wasn’t prepared to spiritually lead her, provide for her, and to be the head of a family.
3. Marriage is a blessing
At first I felt like I had to prove to the naysayers that getting married young is ok sometimes. But when I looked in the Scriptures I didn’t find stuff like, “Marriage equals death! Flee from it!” or, “Put marriage off until you can’t put it off any longer,” or, “Only get married when you’re too old to enjoy life,” or, “Play the field for a while and then pick the best one.”
Instead I found commands like, “Flee youthful lust”, and I read passages like Proverbs 18:22 that says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”
So when people say, “What possessed you to get married so young?” my new response is, “You’re asking the wrong question.” I think at the root of that question is the assumption that marriage steals something away from me, as if my youth is being wasted in committed sacrificial love when it could be used for casual pleasure and flakiness.
Marriage is a beautiful gift from God! It is a means of grace. I found a wife, and that is a good thing. I don’t agree with the logic that says, put off God’s richest blessings as long as you can. Instead I would say enjoy God’s good gifts and steward them for His glory.
This is not to say that everyone should get married when I did. It would have gone bad if I would have tried to get married before I was ready. Some of us do need to mature more, and others of us need to pray for contentment and trust the Lord and His timing. My goal is not to say that the younger you get married, the more holy you are. I just want to dispel the myth that we should delay adulthood and only consider marriage once we’re thirty or older.
No Regrets
Last night on twitter someone asked me if I regret getting married so young. My answer? Absolutely not.
It’s one of the best decisions I ever made. I’m happier and holier than I was two and a half years ago, and that’s a good thing. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m some super rare anomaly. I know plenty of folks who got married just as young or younger than me. They too saw marriage as a gift and they’ve seen the fruit of that gift. Me and my wife may be young now, but I’m praying for grace to love my wife well until the end of our lives. Until then I want to obey the wisdom of the Proverbs and “rejoice in the wife of my youth.”
Jannon Fitzpatrick
August 19, 2013 / at 6:58 am
I respectfully do not agree with Kevin Ferere. You cannot know what love is until you know who God is, because God is Love! The Bible doesn’t say anything about dating around or interacting with others to find that one. In fact, Isaac layed on on Rebecca and knew she was the one for him. He didn’t date around or talk to Leah to so if she was better so he would know whether or not Rachel was really what he wanted or not.
Speaking from my own experience, I did date others and found what love was not. Not only from my own relationships, but from my parents’ and sisters’ relationships. The problem was, they were not relationships based on the Word or God’s Love and that is why they did not work out. I did find a Godly Man, so it can work out the way that you say, BUT I wholeheartedly believe that if I would have waited and guarded my heart from those other relationships that were not right for me, I would have been in a much better and less broken position, to recieve my husband from a Godly woman’s perspective rather than a broken woman’s perspective with baggage to work through.
No disrespect intended, but I believe that is a largely wrong blanket statement that could really steer young hearts in the wrong direction. (Google information about Godly dating vs. Modern Dating. There’s some really good stuff in there.)
Deborahfatuade
August 19, 2013 / at 6:59 am
This is awsome
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 6:59 am
You also proved me right. The Bible can say whatever it wants, but you’re experiences are all you have to go off of. And whom you call God comes from a culmination of what you’re taught and your experiences. In the end, what you believe is a choice, but what you know is imposed upon by reality.
And yeah, the statement may be a bit general, but it should be taken with a grain of salt, as in anything.
Lokelani70
August 19, 2013 / at 7:00 am
I also respectfully do not agree with Kevin Ferere.
The only thing that has been proven is that you have made a conscience decision not to live your life for God through his word, the bible. Whereas, we have made the decision to live our lives in a Godly marriage, through God’s word. The fact of the matter is, one will not have the complete understanding of this blog if God is not put first in one’s life.
Praying for ALL marriages! God Bless!
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:00 am
I’ve made a conscious decision to find God for myself and not by what someone has taught me. Don’t worry, I used to be just like you.
AC
October 3, 2013 / at 5:53 pm
I’d just like to say, you can’t find God. The bible said we’re dead. Dead people can do nothing. God finds us.
Lokelani70
August 19, 2013 / at 7:00 am
Oh… I’m so sorry Kevin, you must be confused. The God I serve is not a God of self-seekers. Worrying is not the will of God, but loving eachother as much as He loves us is! Like I wrote previously, putting God first is what is needed to COMPLETELY understand this blog, as your reply proves my point. May EVERYTHING we say and do be pleasing to God. God Bless and have yourself an amazing evening.
Fru-Mukete Arnold
August 19, 2013 / at 7:00 am
Hahaha, keep seeking, you will find Him- remember creation reveals Him also. Infact, I ll give you a trick, just pick the Bible and go throw it like a story book noting all the claims it makes and even memorizing them Then, check out other books and compare the claims. But definitely you will need someone to explain you somethings, don’t hold back since you are a seeker of truth.
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:00 am
If you believe in God as much as you say you do, why do you feel the need to prove Him so much? I don’t have to God, because He’s in me. I am Him and He is me. But I’m sorry, you can’t comprehend that can you?
Delinabini
August 19, 2013 / at 7:01 am
i disagree how can you be God and how can God be you did you actually create yourself if you were God?
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:01 am
My bad, typo: *I don’t have to prove God.*
But the comment means what it says. Whatever is within you, that is what you are. Don’t be afraid to accept that truth just because you’re taught that it’s wrong.
Addis Hunter
August 19, 2013 / at 7:01 am
100 % with you! I too met my husband at 20 and a year later we were married. I have had to have the same conversations with random strangers, family and friends and I want to encourage you to stay faithful to the Lord and your lovely wife in every way that is discribed in the word. My husband and I are now 30 years old and when I tell people I’ve been “HAPPILY” married for almost 10 years they GASP!!! “Really”?? Making the same vague comments of “wasting our youth” etc etc. But GOD has been so merciful and good to us that I cant express in words how blessed I am to have met my husband when I did. We love reminising on our college years together, and dreaming about all the great things that life has for us ahead! We have 2 beautiful girls and a baby boy on the way (that we humbly prayed for this year and God granted) , (atually I’m due today ;-))..and we couldnt be more SURE that It was a devine union from God to bring us together.
Naturally, we are NOT perfect (although my friends seem to think so because we dont face the common worldly problems of unfaithfulness, disrespect and constant arguing), but we do have disagreements, mood swings, financial dificulties etc, the difference is that we Rely on God to lead our steps, we respect one another and try our best to never lose FAITH, communication, and seek guidance from the holy spirit as a couple and individually..My husband is the most unique individual I have ever met and we both understand that the key to happiness in a marriage is NOT in doing or buying “things” to make eachother happy but Knowing who we are in Christ, following His commandments about marriage and Loving one another unconditionally, regardless of our flaws or how we may “feel” at that moment , knowing that HAPPINESS will always be a temporary emotion that goes away, but true JOY only comes from the Lord.
I wish you and your wife many years of Blessed JOY!!!
I Love your music too by the way ;)..
Josh
August 19, 2013 / at 7:01 am
Trip,
You are a great example to young Christians who want to glorify God in the way they treat women! Thank you! I just got engaged, am 22, and look forward to serving the Lord in marriage for years to come!
Johnny_renteria
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
Believe it or not but i got married at the age of 18. I was in no way ready to be a husband in the financial sense and I was already a father. But I had just gave my life up to Christ and I knew that the women I was with would be the one grow with me. People ask me the same things as well. I find it sad though that marriage is seen as a bad thing. Today, I was thinking about that and I came to the conclusion that people have become so selfish that the thought of taking responsibility of another person almost impossible. Marriage is not about when and why you got married but about who is centered around that marriage. And it should be christ…
deborah
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
i think u r right trip..i have a frnd who got married @ 19 (they hv been married 4 6 yrs nw)n lkng @ her now we realize apart from accepting Christ in her life dat is d best decision she has ever made….though i must admit i am not ready 2 get married..it scares me cos i don’t want 2 be hooked 2 d wrong person 4 d rest of my life but i know Jesus will never let me make d wrong choice…also i sometimes wonder y get married when i get all i want from Jesus n he can never brk my hrt?….ur decision was right n i gv u thumbs up 4 dat!:)
MNM103
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
This really taught me a lot. And it was great hearing your wife side of it too!
Lance Peterson
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
Awesome. My son also got married 2 1/2 years ago to a wonderful godly woman and they were both the ripe old age of 19. Your story reminded me of them.
Brandon Clements
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
I love this Trip! I got married at 22 and I absolutely love my marriage. It’s funny because I just had a similar conversation with a gas station attendant about a month ago. She pulled the whole, “Why get married when you can have the milk for free?” question and my heart broke for her. Then I went on to tell her that my wife was not a cow–that she was awesome and I love her.
Thanks for sharing!
Sonako
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
loool you’re funny =D
Louib2001
August 19, 2013 / at 7:02 am
Praise the Lord for you brother and your lovely wife of your youth. I pray that the Lord will pour favor continuously throughout your life, because you have obeyed his word. I am 28 and have been married now for almost two years and my wife and I have a happy marriage and a lovely 10 moth old baby. I always wanted to get married younger, but I believe it wasn’t time yet for me until the Lord brought my good thing almost 5 years ago (to be precise we met on the day we got born again 31 Dec 2006). I did not know we where destined to be together as I took her as an ordinary sister from church. I was also concentrating on my spiritual growth, but three years ago my eyes opened and the rest as they say is history.
It is in Satan’s agenda for people not to be married, so that they live in sin and we already know what will happen. Have we looked at the rate of divorce in the body today? How about brothers and sister fornicating in the church, because of what society dictates.
If we look at how our cities are filled with youth violence today, do we take a moment to think of some of the root causes? The moment man exchange Godly values for circular ism all this fell apart. Even Christian parents are ignorantly promoting circular ism by discouraging their children not to get married young (at the age of concern obviously). The reasons are I quote”you need to get an education, maybe when you finish your masters and have a decent job, then start to think about marriage”. That sound wise doesn’t it ? So what happens when your Christian child is goes to university and then moves in with boy/girl friend whose either Christian or non?
Please do not get me wrong(that’s just some of the things I have come across), because the above statement does not apply to all. Education is very important as one acquires knowledge for their respective profession so they could work and provide for their future families etc, but marriage wont stop one from succeeding in what ever area in life one chooses to follow, as a matter of fact a marriage in general promotes growth i.e great ministry, good heath, wealth and the list goes on. Remember the two becomes one flesh and can chase 10 000 wow, that means that in agreement what ever they ask God faithfully they will attain, awesome…..
In close I would like to suggest that we as Christians start teaching our children at a young age on the importance of first living for God and secondly the importance of marriage( to those who’ve been given the gift) so that they grow up wanting to please God in this area. Once again well done my brother and to all those living the word of God. Stay blessed.
Anna
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
This really spoke to me. I’m 21 in a relationship and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that I’m “too young to be thinking about settling down”, I should wait to “live life first”, finish school and establish a career before I enter courtship/marriage. You have an amazing and inspiring testimony. I wish you and your wife a lifetime of blessings and happiness together!
anonymous
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
I am 20 and have never been in a relationship so I’m not going to be married by 21 but I definitely respect your logic. I always have the mindset “to each his own”. I think you and your wife will definitely go the distance and I’m so proud of the steps that you took prior to marriage. It looks like both of you took the committment very seriously, which I applaud.
Tony Doyley
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
Very blessed to read your blog about marriage at an early age. My wife got married at 18 and we have been happily married for 10 years now. Sure we’ve had some ups and downs, but I believe God has guided us steadily all these years and now we are stronger than ever. Thank you for your amazing testimony.
KLE Photography
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
Congrats on your young marriage! My husband and I went through the same thing when we got married 8 years ago at 20 years old! So we know exactly what you’re going through! People thought we got married because I was pregnant (I wasn’t) or because he was an illegal alien (he’s an American citizen). We didn’t have much of our friends in our corner as they were doing the single thing. But now at 28 they are coming around and trying to “catch up.” I’m glad God blessed me with my husband regardless of my age. God bless both of you!
BTW We live in the DMV area! (MD) maybe we all can meet up or go to church together! We still don’t have married friends lol.
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
I don’t think anything is being stolen from you, it’s what you’re giving up. It’s cool to have structure in the Bible, but it’s up to you to dictate your life, not a book; despite the guidance that it provides.
It’s commendable being committed and young, but part of that “youthful lust” is the learning and growing you get from meeting and socially engaging different women. Learning what you like and don’t like to do, see, and feel; instead of your scope being so limited to just one person.
You can’t really say you know who you are and what you’re about, or even what you really want, if you haven’t interacted but so much with other women for them to show that to you. You don’t know what Love is if you don’t know what it’s not.
Guest
August 19, 2013 / at 7:03 am
You do not need to know what Love is not if you know what Love is. How would you know if someone gives you a fake $100 bill unless you know what the real $100 bill look like. There is only one real $100 bill, just study that and you can tell when someone gives you a fake. The same with love. There are many counterfeits out there, but if you know what the real is, then you will be able to spot the fake. Since God is love, anything ungodly cannot be love.
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
Hence you must date around and meet and have sex with other people. My point exactly. What is ungodly is subjective. You may try to be legalistic about it because it is in our nature to do so, however, we must let go of these ideals being that there is too much grey area amid the context.
Angeldoll1
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
I disagree with your statement having sex with other people- STD’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies, are the consequences of such relationships. If one pursues such relationships, they would not learn about proper commitment and the deeper and spiritual aspects of love rather than lust. Also I disagree with your views about dating around before you want to commit because “dating around” is not a prerequisite to know a spouse from a nonspouse. Godly courting/dating was made for humans as depicted in the Bible whereas having mutiple partners, having random sex are the traits of animals.
AJ
October 3, 2013 / at 3:46 pm
Angeldoll1it’s pretty naive of you to think that all non-marital sex necessarily leads to “STD’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies”… but of course, you wouldn’t know that if you haven’t taken to time to get your head out of your dusty old book and gain some life experience.
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
You look at it negatively. If you’re mature and wise enough you’ll go about it the right way. The more you avoid something, the closer you come to it. Focus on the positives and that’s what you’ll get. But of course your religion doesn’t teach you that.
Josh
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) You know what love is if you know Christ.
KevinFerere
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
Please sir, if you’re going to regurgitate scripture, the least you can do is apply your own thought to it. It’s a reference, not a speech guide.
elle
October 3, 2013 / at 12:25 pm
Your take on scripture is wrong and the way you think you’re projecting yourself as a Christian who doesn’t follow the Bible but “references” it but chooses to live by your own code and picks and chooses what, if anything to follow that’s of God is concerning….
Most of what you’re claiming to stand on is false doctrine.
Gabe Taviano
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
Nice to see you blogging here Trip! Thanks for praying for me this week, God sure has been good.
The crazy thing about you getting married so young is that your ears and eyes have been opened to God more in your few years than some that have closed Him off for much longer. You know that God is a part of your marriage just as much as the two of you are, and that’s huge. Thanks for sharing!
Madeleine Farrell
August 19, 2013 / at 7:04 am
This is an excellent thought process. I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. At the time we were not Christian, and also, we did not ‘have to’ get married. Still for some reason we did. We have been married almost 28 1/2 years now, are parents of 5 and grandparents of 2. I LOVE my life. Not to say there were times in our marriage that one of us just wanted to walk away and never come back, not to say anger and resentment were not part of our daily lives for a season, or that thinking ew made the biggest mistake of our lives was not a thought process. But we committed. And when divorce is not an option, GOD brings the healing in time.
My daughter got married at 20 and there was not one encouragement she ever got from people. She didn’t understand why people feel it is a last resort instead of a timely blessing. Even among the Christian community.
Our son on the other hand got married at Christmas time, at the age of 27. Just hadn’t found the right girl. One thing.. the right boy/girl is going to e the right boy/girl even through the tough times. Just cling to The Cross.
CL
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
I couldn’t agree more. So many people seem to think that marriage is awful and there is especially no reason to “rush” into it, but it is something that God wants to use to bless and sanctify us. Thank you for the post!
>>But when I looked in the Scriptures I didn’t find stuff like, “Marriage equals death! Flee from it!” or, “Put marriage off until you can’t put it off any longer,” or, “Only get married when you’re too old to enjoy life,” or, “Play the field for a while and then pick the best one.”
Ana
December 9, 2014 / at 1:48 am
Thank you so much for the visit to my blog – I think I figured out the feed adedrss for you (I posted it in my comments). You have a darling family, by the way! Congrats on your anniversary!
Praisemovement
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
Thanks for your transparency and for “making Jesus look good”. Mad respect for the way you livin’and bringin’ glory to the Word.
Andrea Paige Jackson
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
That is a fantastic testimony. And you posted it on mine and my husband’s tenth anniversary! (We got married OLD, though.) : )
Jcsmsoul
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
god bless u brother! i know exactly what u mean although i found the lord later in life and i wish i was married to a godly man thats loyal to his wife! these dayz its very hard to find that! and another reason i hope and pray i get married and find the one is because u dont feel guilt when making love when ur married! god bless u!
Jazmin
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
Thank you so much not every one will see marriage as a blessing. Only those that trust and believe in our Lord Jesus Christ will. I to got married at a very young age and at 28 years old me and my husband have 3 beautiful children and our lives are devoted to adore and worship our father in heaven. Marriage isn’t easy though, it has it’s ups and downs but through the grace and mercy of God and surrendering to his will one is able to grow. Thank you very much for your amazing story it is a true blessing. My the Lord continue to let you and your wife grow I ask for his wisdom and most of all many blessings in your favor.
Tachy Musica
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
I got married so “young” as well, and this is a blessing, we always together (including our daughter of course), we share everything, and help each other, some ppl think that if you get married so young it will be for a short time, but thanks God we almost 8 years married and the most important trying to servin’ God at all times…Blessings
Agopylove09
August 19, 2013 / at 7:05 am
that is so awesome!! im 25 and ive been thinking about what all comes along with being a good wife and truly being submissive and having god as your center and always seeking his counsel for it all and just truly letting christ take the lead and building that relationship on the solid ground of christ jesus..falling in love with our savior first is truly a must!! having that intimate relationship with HIM alllows you to grow and know what love really is and GOD provides that love that u give to your spouse.. so greatful for a savior Who always provides..<3
Joe Stevens
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
Am an oldee who agrees fully with Triplee. Though of course it is different strokes (ages) for different folks. And everyone must marry at their God-designed time. I am 50 yrs old, got married to my sweetheart when I was 23 and she was 20! Now 27 years and 1 month later, there is continuous (good) fireworks between us, still madly in love, best friends and walking together in God’s purpose. Wouldn’t trade the age I married for 6 months later! But even my kids must know their circumstacces are not necessarily identical to ours, nor are God’s timings and plans for them exactly the same.
Femi Olowo
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
Am an oldee who agrees fully with Triplee. Though of course it is different strokes (ages) for different folks. And everyone was marry at their God-designed time. I am 50 yrs old, got married to my sweetheart when I was 23 and she was 20! Now 27 years and 1 month later, there is continuous (good) fireworks between us, still madly in love, best friends and walking together in God’s purpose. Wouldn’t trade the age I married for 6 months later!
Reverandjeff
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
I know this one all too well… Just celebrated our 13th year of marriage, and i’m 35.. I had the same folks question me the same way, but we both just knew God had ordained it and designed it. We intersected each other’s lives at PIVOTAL moments where we ended up being each others anchor, with a common anchor of Christ. The best part is when we get the chance to talk to younger people who are struggling with relationships/marriage and we get to tell our exceptional testimony !!! As a matter of fact, had some of these discussions with JPaul some years ago.. Small world !!! God has given those who seek it the RIGHT VALUE system, and we VALUE our rib instead of runnin after chickenbones. :)
Jeff Young
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
Oh and for the curious, check us out at http://www.facebook.com/reverandjeff #GotAGodlyDime
Bobshumaker
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
My Dad & Mom were high school sweethearts and they got married after graduation (both were 18 years old). They are still happily married to this day and have never express any regrets about their lives together. Becoming an adult might begin with marriage – and your attitude concerning your decision mirrors my parents. Godly marriages are few and far between in this century….God will bless you and keep you happy for at least 50 or 60 years!
Monique-Jolicia
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
Where is the wife’s story?
Jeffreycotton7
August 19, 2013 / at 7:06 am
I thank you and your wife so much for sharing your stories. I’m 21 and feel like i’m going through almost the same situation. I’m just not married yet. I have that mindset of why wait if you and your partner are in love, both are spiritual, positive, and perfect through each others eyes. My girl and I have no doubt that we are going to be married one day. But even though we both want to be married, she’s more of a take her time; we have all the time in the world type person. I’m more of an ASAP we are not promised tomorrow type person. So why wait? She is a very smart girl. She reminds me of your wife and her story a little. Thinking that things might get in the way of school and career goals. But that’s more towards the talk of kids after marriage. I always tell her that I don’t want to have our first child close to 30 years old. I don’t want my body to start getting weaker because of age, which would make it harder and more tiring to play around with my kids. I want 7 at the most and 3 at the least. So its good to get started at a decent age. But I will continue to try to leave it in God’s hands and not worry about it too much.
aneetarh
August 19, 2013 / at 7:07 am
thank u so much Trip n Jess, n everyone hu dt has shared an encouragement in one way or d oda. now i’m no longer scared of gettn married early especially considern d fact dt we both love God. God bls u…
Dash
August 19, 2013 / at 7:07 am
Jannon Fitzpatrick, I agree that God is love. The only way to experience true love is to experience the one who created love. Between to people we can create nothing to that caliber unless we are letting God guide our love lives as well. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” Jhn 15:13. Love is not finding a self satisfaction (KevinFerere), or finding someone who can satisfy and stimulate electrical impulses in your brain. Ironically, your picture of the “Creation of Adam” on your page comes from the Renaissance period which was when the ideology of love and dating turned into something for the individual gratification no matter what the cost to someone else. That painting in itself is heretical stating that Adam is reaching out to God and took part in his creation. The Irony is this, Michelangelo at the end of his life saw what he had done and repented, trying to mix Christianity and Humanism (Man being the measure of all things). This ideology of love is where is I think you are coming from ? which is the same thing they practiced in Greek, Renaissance, and today’s culture. There really is “nothing new under the sun”-Solomon, also from the Bible.
Paul Jones
August 19, 2013 / at 7:07 am
hey trip been married since i was 22 and 28 now. just had our 6th anv. god has bless us with 4 young ones. i pray that he keep blessing you and your family.
Danz_17unlocked
August 19, 2013 / at 7:07 am
This is lovely Trip, May God richly bless u and ur wife… and may others b blessed by this ^_^ <3
CLL
October 3, 2013 / at 12:15 pm
What a lovely testimony to the goodness of God and what He can do in lives that are totally surrendered to Him. My husband and I were married relatively young (at 24) and like you and your wife, God saw fit to bring us together for His glory. Our son married young, at age 20 earlier this year…gasp :-) and he definitely found a good thing in his godly wife. We wanted nothing more for him and it’s a blessing.
Karenda
October 3, 2013 / at 12:18 pm
What a great article! My husband and I got married young as well, I was 22 and my husband was 25. We just celebrated 15 years of marriage. Jesus, has brought us closer together as a couple over the years, teaching us to “die to ourselves” in order to better love and serve each other. Selfishness is the number one destroyer of most marriages.
Thank you for your willingness to be up front and honest about the topic of marriage as it relates to Scripture!
Michael
October 3, 2013 / at 1:16 pm
My wife and I married at 21 as well, and that was 11 years and 6 children ago (bio/adopted/foster). I didn’t know I was “too young” to marry, I just knew she was the one I didn’t want to live without! God has been good.
AJ
October 3, 2013 / at 2:16 pm
Reading between the lines: we loved Jesus and we were horny.
I see this happen all the time among Christians and think arguments such as these that dance around the real motivation are hilarious. It’d be sinful to just have sex, so it’s far wiser to rush into a lifelong commitment.
CLARA
October 3, 2013 / at 2:21 pm
The God that begun that Marriage shall surely see you through it all. You are an encouragement to young christian youths and couples Trip. God bless you!!
JOB
October 3, 2013 / at 2:52 pm
I got married at the age of 21 and in the same year as you Trip Lee, in 2009. I met her in church when I was 16 years old and we have been together for almost 8 years now. We served God together with AYCM ministries, reaching out to villages and sharing the word of God in the Philippines. We told each other everyday “I love you because I see how much you love God”. I do not ever regret asking her for her hand in marriage. The past 4 years of marriage has been a blessing.
THATMAN
October 3, 2013 / at 2:55 pm
https://twitter.com/KEVINFERERE <<< is is THIS guy?? lol
Isaac
October 3, 2013 / at 4:06 pm
God’s word is indeed supreme. Proverbs 18:22 clearly spells this out.
”Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord´´.
My take for whoever wants to get married is to first and foremost ask for God’s direction in choosing the right partner. We as humans shouldnt make our own choices and forcifully ask God to bless it. Rather, we should surrender in total obedience, reach out for God’s grace and ask for guidance to follow his direction for our lives.
SteveMcMillon
October 3, 2013 / at 4:40 pm
I respect this so much!! Its so encouraging because I have had a desire to be married ever since I was 6 yrs old and alot of people put me down for it. In many ways it created insecurities in me. Thank you again for this!
Terri
October 3, 2013 / at 4:59 pm
A little over 35 years ago I married my high school sweetheart. We were both 18, almost 19. We had many naysayers and my dad even hoped I would get divorced and find a doctor. When God arranges a marriage it doesn’t matter what the age of the bride and groom. Many blessings!
Missy
October 3, 2013 / at 6:01 pm
I was married young as well (20 to be exact). Now at 32, I feel as though you can be married at any given age and at any given time to whoever… and God will use a person that loves Him in any circumstance to draw Himself closer to that person… all you have to be is willing to be holy as He is holy. That’s why I don’t believe there is “the one”… Any persons who choose to get married, become “the one’s” for eachother :)
Missy
October 3, 2013 / at 6:02 pm
but of course this is only true if both are believers
Johnny
October 3, 2013 / at 10:27 pm
Thank you so much. My wife and I have a similar story. A friend posted this today and it was what I needed. Praise our Lord Jesus!
Lise
October 3, 2013 / at 10:39 pm
Thank you for this article! I am 36 years old and I have been married for 19yrs…yep, I was 17 when I married my 18yr old husband! We have six kids, love The Lord and are very happy :) we are asked similar questions all the time and while it may not be a popular choice or the right choice for many, I am so happy and confidant everyday that we made the right choice for us.
Steffan
October 3, 2013 / at 11:18 pm
This is amazing. I know plenty of people who think this is the biggest mistake of your life. I am 22 and have really been considering this with someone I have known and loved since my sophomore year of high school. I am sure things aren’t sunshine and rainbows for you, nor do I expect it to be for me. I commend you for putting aside all of the negativity and looking at the larger picture and what you felt God lead you to. If no one else is ever happy for you, I truly am.
Kim Hunter
October 4, 2013 / at 8:30 am
I met my husband at 14 we got married when I was 21 and he was 23 we have been together for 22 years and married for 15 of those 22 there’s nothing wrong with getting married young its just how a person looks at life….because really your lifr is what you make it….and yes me and my husband are saved and believe in god and we are living our life for him with god all things are possible especially a long healthly loving marriage nothing easy but with god you can make it…….BE BLESSED!!
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Cherisse
October 4, 2013 / at 9:43 am
What a blessing to know the Lord and to understand his word. I wish there were more people like you. Don’t let the Devil discourage you. We know he is everywhere.
GrantYoung
October 4, 2013 / at 12:44 pm
My wife and I got married when we were 22 and I had the same experience. Friends that were saved and unsaved wanted to let me know I had more life to live. My barber reminded me of all the clubbing and partying I could do. My “close” friends explained that there were other fish in the sea to explore. Well, we actually got married around the same time 3 other couples our age did! We’re a minority but definitely not alone and it’s encouraging to remember that.
By God’s grace we just celebrated 3 years and it’s been awesome! Thank you for sharing Trip!
Mark
October 4, 2013 / at 4:24 pm
My take would be that if you are going to get married so young, you better know the consequences of doing so. It is very difficult even in the very best of circumstances. If you aren’t ready to work the hardest you’ve ever worked and totally sacrifice and deal with lots of disappointments and heartache, don’t sign up for it. However, if you can endure (and some people do) if can be rewarding at times.
Kevin
October 4, 2013 / at 5:42 pm
I love this biblically based perspective. It’s rare among American Christian, where the cultural and social structures are so anti-marriage, to see a young person, even an older person, have such a spiritually mature view on the value of God’s institution. Based on many of the comments I’ve read, this perspective sounds so foreign to people, even in the Church because we’ve allowed ourselves to lean towards the social norms of the day rather than the biblical truth of what God holds to be valued and treasured. Praying for you Trip, keep sharing the Gospel and the truth of God’s word made practical and real in the believer’s life.
PastorRob
October 5, 2013 / at 6:55 am
I want to let you know Trip- Lee I got married 2 months after I turned 21. Is God all in it? Was He all in it despite people opinion and their reasoning on why I shouldn’t get married that I needed to wait. Man of God I have been married for 16 years now with 2 Beautiful girls and I am thoroughly greatful to God for a Godly wise, honorable precious jewel. The beauty about your testimony is it was meant for you to tell it!!!
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Mavis
January 28, 2014 / at 10:10 am
I have advice for all young people. If you are 18 or over, start looking for a spouse! Sex outside if marriage will bring you nothing but heartache, leaness of soul and bad health, mental and physical. Being married is a joy and economic booster! You can get so much more done and enjoy lufe so much more if you are not alone. Your parents probably got divorced because they did not follow their hearts in their youth! I don’t have the space to explain it all, but you are built to be mated. Start making yor list of must have traits right away and marry young while you have your whole heart to give. I am 53 and very grayeful to be happily married. I was married at 31 -heartbroken many times and lots if wasted youth-way way too late. Hope done if you will be wise in your youth and enjoy it by being present in it!
GOSPELMAGDOTCOM
February 6, 2014 / at 8:33 am
Dear Trip Lee,
We appreciate reading your articles.
Could you give us the authorization to translate your articles into french and to publish them on our website: gospelmag.com?
Thank you very much in advance for your answer.
Best in Christ,
Marcel
Mercy
February 15, 2014 / at 3:14 pm
My friend bought me this book when we were teens about being a young, dignified Christian woman. Of course it encouraged waiting until after marriage and everything and had verses throughout. It mentioned and she brought it up herself that God doesn’t want for us to date. I made a vow to myself that I would have boundaries with guys (I think I almost am completely done with outgrowing my shyness). I would save certain things for marriage but on and off the past 2 years I’ve gotten depressed. I’ve felt lonely. I wondered what’s wrong with me and if I’m good enough. I’m not. I don’t know every bible verse. I need to study a lot more. I’ve been trying and I don’t want to get to know just any guy because I can become heartbroken and he can lead me down a path God doesn’t want me down but I get lonely. It’s always beautiful to see other young people in love. It’s even BETTER if they’re married and I know it’s not good to be jealous but everyone says “oh, it’ll come during YOUR time”. I think about it regularly lately. I met this really nice guy. We have very similar personalities but he said he doesn’t go to church. He said he believes in God and I know I’m not perfect myself but I can’t help but wonder because I don’t think he’s actively seeking God if I’m going to regret something. Women aren’t supposed to try and change men I heard. It leads to disappointment supposedly. Well, I’m tired of waiting. I guess I’ll learn the hard way. I’m not having sex though. I’m 23 and still stand strong on that but I’m confused why I don’t deserve a husband now. Everybody else gets what they want. It’s so annoying that I can’t stop thinking about guys. I get so depressed sometimes. If I marry this guy and he hasn’t changed will we be unequally yoked? Some people have everything. And I’m not saying money. I just want someone who appreciates me. It’s too much to explain.
Natalie
March 11, 2015 / at 1:21 pm
Mercy:
You are still only 23! :) Don’t worry about not finding the “right” one, there is not just one person out there that is a good option. And just to clarify: YOU ARE WORTH IT. There is a reason that you are you and on this earth at this time. You are precious to Jesus, just read and claim His promises when you start to think that you are not worth it. My favorite is: “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Someone I knew recently got divorced, and a huge issue in their marriage was that she was a believer and he was not. A decision you will have to make will be “is God worth it?” Keep seeking the Lord with all your heart, and HE will direct you. He will guide you. He will provide the encouragement you need when you feel overwhelmed and depressed. Something I have found very helpful is reading Scripture out loud before I go to bed, and especially when I feel down and under attack from the enemy. You never know what God has just around the corner.. if only you wait. I know it sounds so hard and honestly, annoying, but if you will keep seeking the Lord, He will satisfy you in this season. There is a reason you are in the season! You never know how God will use it as a testimony to help other young girls who are struggling with the same thing! :) I hope this helped in some way! Blessings!
tshireletsopreciousntumo
November 7, 2014 / at 2:43 am
This is what I needed to hear, thank you and GOD bless
Micheala
March 22, 2015 / at 8:32 am
I got married at 21 and it was beautiful …
You can’t help who you fall in love with or when you fall in love with them,
I never thought I would be the type to marry young and miss out on the “fun things” in life .. but i don’t think i did, I just shared my “fun things” with someone I love and couldn’t imagine living without.
Gisselle
March 28, 2015 / at 7:41 am
Hi I’m Gisselle I’m from Honduras. I’m 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. We met 15 months ago in his church in New York! I live in Honduras.. Therefore it has been a long distance relationship. I’m in my second year of college and so as he. We’ve talked about getting married. And some of our relatives and elders from his church supports us and tell us is the best thing to do. I’m still insecure about it.. My mom isn’t too open about me getting married so young and so as my sisters. We have been praying since we first thought about marriage as a possibility. If you could write me to my email i would be grateful!
Jennifer
July 8, 2015 / at 3:11 pm
We were married 21 years ago. I was 19 and my husband was 21. We have drawn closer to each other and to God. Three kids later we are looking forward to the next 20.
Charles
August 9, 2015 / at 11:07 pm
I just wanted to say thank you for the straight forward way that you preach Gods word. I just watched the ‘Fallin’ music video after a day of trails and temptations and feel as though God spoke right into what I’m going through. The amazing Gift of Grace that we share cannot be measured or taken for granted. Thank you so much for re-opening my eyes to something so foundational in my walk with God. I also pray that God will bless you in your ministry.
Chidera
August 18, 2015 / at 2:48 pm
Once God shows you someone and the person has the same passion for God as you and ready to walk with you all the way. it doesn’t matter what age, once the time comes you marry. The thing is just acknowledge him in all of thy ways, he’ll make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6). Just have the passion and love for God, at the right time he’ll provide you with your helpmate who’ll stand with you through it all. Don’t wanna part, then don’t part with God. In ALL of thy ways acknowledge him, he’ell make your path straight.
Stacy
December 14, 2015 / at 3:57 pm
My husband is 3/4 black and a quarter white.(I am white). My husband I got married young also I 18 going to 19 and my husband was 20. People told us not to, we were making a mistake and will send in divorce. We didn’t listen we got married and now we have been 16 years. God is in control.
jaysmith
March 12, 2016 / at 7:34 pm
Kevin–you seem like you have a few things down. And you are working your way up. Keep going, kid! In the end, to know yourself half as well is most of the vattle, despite any shortcomings. Blessings!
TheRealHonestTruth
March 27, 2016 / at 2:44 pm
Well for the people out there that have been BLESSED with very Excellent luck with NO health problems at all and being married with a family with a lot of money certainly have so much to be very thankful for since they really should have NO reason to complain when many of us are NOT that lucky at all even though many of you did get married too young which there are a lot of you that are still together today.
Tye Smith
June 26, 2016 / at 9:55 pm
very resourceful he came to elivate camp on friday 24/6/2016
RachelSanchez
November 2, 2016 / at 1:14 pm
My husband and I got married earlier this year. He is 22, and I am 21. I get asked all the time why I would “throw my youth away” or why I would even think about getting married in college. I surprisingly get the most hurtful comments from older women who seem to look down on me. It’s heartbreaking that others can’t recognize that I am actually really enjoying my youth with my most favorite person in the world. It’s sad when people (even older generations) think that it’s perfectly fine for people in their 20s to sleep around, but when they get married it’s shocking and horrible. We just hope our marriage can inspire others to take the leap when they feel ready, regardless of what society tells them.
The Very Sad Truth
November 27, 2017 / at 8:09 am
Then there are many of us good single men that were really hoping to meet a good woman to settle down with, but unfortunately it still hasn’t happened for us. And for the men and women that were very extremely blessed to have met one another and have a family which you really have so very much to be thankful for.
alvina.reborn
January 3, 2018 / at 2:39 pm
Thanks alot Trip. For years I’ve been telling myself that I can only get married past a certain age. But now I know better.