Vim li cas kuv tau sib yuav ib tug Dawb ntxhais

Thaum twg kuv rooj vag duab ntawm kuv tsev neeg rau kev sib raug zoo xov xwm, cov lus teb yeej ib txwm muaj kev lom zem. Feem ntau yog, "Koj tus tub yog li ntawd zoo nraug!"Los yog" ua li cas ib tug zoo nkauj tsev neeg!"Tab sis ib yam ntawm lub lwm yam ntau cov lus teb yog, "Yog koj tus poj niam dawb?"Cov neeg hais rau kuv ntawm qhia tau hais tias tej zaum dhau. Cov lus teb no yog. Kuv tus poj niam yog ib tug mix ntawm Hungarian, Italian, thiab Polish-uas rau feem ntau cov neeg cia li txhais tau tias yog, nws yog dawb. Qhov no yog sob rau ib co, tab sis shocking los yog txawm disappointing rau lwm tus neeg. Kuv tsis xav tias leej twg yuav tsum tau xav tsis thoob los yog chim los ntawm lwm haiv neeg kev sib yuav, tab sis kuv tseem xav los tham txog vim li cas kuv sib sab nraum kuv "haiv neeg.

Qhov kev txiav txim mus yuav ib tug neeg los ntawm ib tug txawv haiv neeg tom qab tsis yog ib tug tawv ib qho rau kuv. Kuv yeej tsis cia li zaum thiab sau tawm ib tug pros thiab cons daim ntawv teev. Tab sis, yog hais tias kuv puas tau, qhov tseeb hais tias kuv tus poj niam yeej tsis tau pom ib tug rov ntawm "Martin" yuav nyob rau hauv lub nrog qeb. Tab sis honestly, Kuv tsis agonize dua nws los yog nrhiav kev ntuas txog seb nws yog lawv xav tshuaj. Kuv yog ntseeg hais tias nws yog tus poj niam rau kuv mus yuav, txawm tias nws tsis yog dub.

Ib txhia yeej tsis xav txog marrying ib tug neeg uas tsis yog tus tib haiv neeg raws li lawv, li ntawd, cia kuv qhia rau koj vim li cas kuv puas tau.

cov miv nyuas

Yuav tsis ncaj ncees, Kuv yeej ib txwm yuav tsum tau yuav ib tug dub poj niam. Kuv pom cov poj niam ntawm txhua haiv zoo nkauj, tab sis dub ntxhais yog kuv tus "nyiam." Tiam sis thaum kuv tuaj txog rau ntawm kuv kawm ntawv qib siab hauv tsev kawm ntawv nyob rau hauv 2006, Kuv twb tsis nrhiav ib tug poj niam ntawm tag nrho cov. Kuv cia li xav kom loj hlob nyob rau hauv kuv txoj kev ntseeg thiab tau ib tug zoo kev kawm ntawv. Kuv thawj album twb cia li tawm tuaj, li ntawd, kuv muaj ntau yam ua kom pom tseeb rau ntawm. Tab sis raws li kuv tau ntsib cov neeg hauv tsev kawm ntawv, ib tug qib kaum npe Jessica yeej ntes tau kuv paub thiab peb los ua phooj ywg.

Peb khiav nyob rau hauv tib lub voj voog thiab peb twb tuaj koom tib lub tsev teev ntuj, li ntawd, peb pom txhua lwm yam ib heev. Thiab qhov ntau kuv tau paub nws, qhov ntau kuv twb kos rau nws. Nws yeej hlub Yexus thiab nws muaj no childlike kam mus ua xijpeem nws nug. Nws txoj kev khuv leej rau cov txom nyem cov neeg sib tw kuv thiab nws muaj ib tug lub siab hais tias teb rau cov lus. Li ntawd thawj xyoo, Kuv saib nws txi countless teev ntawm nws lub sij hawm pab nyob rau hauv peb lub tsev teev ntuj. Nyob rau sab saum toj ntawm tag nrho cov uas, Kuv hlub nyob ib ncig nws. peb kev sib tham, seb loj los yog ua dag, yeej ib txwm ntws tau yooj yim. Li ntawd, kuv thiaj li pib mus nug kuv tus kheej, "Kuv yuav yuav tus ntxhais no?"

nyiam Zoo Li Cas

Jessica tsis zoo li kuv xav kuv yav tom ntej tus poj niam mus nrhiav, tab sis honestly hais tias tsis ua cas rau kuv. Tsis tau kuv tsis ncaj ncees lawm, Kuv xav tias nws twb zoo nkauj los ntawm tus thawj lub sij hawm kuv tau ntsib nws. Thiab kuv yeej tsis tau pom zoo rau marrying ib tug dawb ntxhais. Kuv cia li tsis xav tias kuv yuav. Tab sis raws li kuv loj hlob nyob rau hauv kuv txoj kev ntseeg thiab kuv lub siab hloov, kuv nyiam pib hloov ib yam nkaus thiab. Kuv lub ntsiab nyiam yog tias kuv tus poj niam yuav godly, thiab Jessica yog. Yog li ntawd kuv wifed nws.

Tsis txhob rau ib tug lub sij hawm ntawd ua kuv xav tias zoo li kuv twb hauv. Nws pom tau tias zoo li hauv overlook ib tes dej num poj niam xwb vim ntawm nws haiv neeg. Kuv yeej tsis xav mus value kuv nyiam rau ib tug poj niam li cas kuv yuav tsum tau nyob rau hauv ib tug poj niam.

Muaj tsis muaj dab tsi tas lawm muaj nyiam, tab sis peb yuav tau tuav lawv nrog ib txhais tes. Kuv paub ib txhia neeg uas ntsia tsis pom tej zaum godly tus txij nkawm vim hais tias lawv tsis haum ib co random nyiam. Ib txhia ntawm peb cov nyiam tiag tiag tsis tseem ceeb hais tias ntau. Ib txhia ntawm peb cov nyiam yuav txawm yuav ruam, li ntawd, peb yuav tau xa tag nrho cov ntawm lawv rau vaj.

Thaum koj thiab koj tus txij nkawm yog nyob rau hauv nruab nrab ntawm cov teeb meem, daim tawv nqaij laus tsis. Lub cev thiab kev raws li txoj cai zoo li tsis tseem ceeb txaus. Koj xav kom lawv yuav tsum tau godly thiab humble. Thiab raws li kuv tus poj niam thiab kuv pib tsa peb thawj tus me nyuam, Kuv yuav tsis yuav ntau xav thov ua tsaug rau nws. Nws yog ib qho amazing niam thiab ib tes dej num cawv rau kuv tus tub-tsis cov neeg uas muaj dab tsi ua rau nws haiv neeg keeb kwm yav dhau. Nws yog OK xav tej yam uas nyob rau hauv ib tug txij nkawm, tab sis peb yuav tsum xa peb tej kev xav rau Vajtswv xav kom peb nyob rau hauv ib tug txij nkawm. Yuav ua li cas kuv xav thiab yuav tsum tau tshaj plaws yog ib tes dej num tus khub, thiab hais tias yog raws nraim li Vajtswv muab.



  1. CLLTeb

    Zoo hais tias dawm. My husband is White and I am Black and I constantly get asked what made me choose someone outside of my race. I always reply that God made the choice for me and He did such an amazing job, better than I ever could have done on my own. Vajtswv yog zoo! Keep doing what you do! 116! Jesus first until we’re under the earth!

    • ErickaTeb

      Thanks for the honesty Trip Lee. kuv pom zoo. You can have a preference but you have to hold it with an open hand because as a Christian your first commitment is to Christ and your spouse has to support that. Evenly yolked

    • OluwaseyiTeb

      Great post Trip.
      I have trouble viewing your blog on my phone. The pages seem fixed hindering left-right scrolling and words at the end of each line seems cut off from my screen so I sometimes can’t make sense of some sentences. I’m not sure if this is a problem with my browser or maybe a technicality in the blog’s setup. Just wanted to bring it up just incase something can be done from your end.
      nyob twj ywm foom koob hmoov rau.

    • MariaTeb

      My daughter loves your music. Ua tau, I must admit; I do too:). When she first introduced me to tour music along with our other favorite, LaCrae) I was just so glad for your Godly influence via your music. But I have remained somewhat alert. Wondering if your music manifested your character. Reading this I am confident that you are a Godly man. I pray many many blessings for you and your beautiful wife and adorable son. Personally speaking, and in a time where there is so much evil, ethnicity is just that. One is truly fortunate to have a wife (if you are a man) who loves Jesus and serves Him right along side of you.

    • AdamCravenTeb

      amees!!! I never really understood why some people overlooked a godly woman simply because they didn’t fit into one of their preferences. I have a sister who almost put a preference before happiness. She eventually went to the wonderful word of god and prayed about it and prayed and finally she got her answer and I now 2 nieces and a great god fearing brother-in-law!! You never should put your preferences before god because every time someone they are basically spitting in god’s face and my preferences before you!!

  2. CarinaTeb

    As God leads, we should follow. I think biblically speaking we are all one race, first from Adam and Eve then later all descendants of Noah. It may take thousands of years and hundreds of generations to get back, but we all started from the same place. One race, many ethnicities.

  3. BrittaTeb

    Kuv pom zoo kiag li! Before I met my husband I always preferred clean shaven red heads, but then I met David. He was a bald guy with a goatee long enough for me to braid! He was/is everything that God had promised me I’d find in a husband, but if I was just looking for a certain appearance I would have missed out on the best thing God had for me!

  4. AnneTeb

    Thank you Trip for this amazing article. To be honest with you, I was pretty surprised when I found out about your wife’s race. Tab sis, I believe that God’s plans for our lives, don’t always match what we expect or want. Yog li ntawd, this article has encouraged me to pray and get my motives right; so when the right person does come along my way, God-willing, I’m ready. Thank you again bro. Love you and your fam in Jesus. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau.

  5. RachelTeb

    Wow. I’m thankful for your open and honest heart on this subject, as I’m sure it’s not addressed enough! My husband and I are the sameracebut I can see this same controversy over silly things like someones social status (what kind of job they have), if they have children, what their past has been, regardless of wether they are in Christ or not. I know for a fact I would’ve married my husband no matter his race, status, or background. God’s love and grace covers over everything and makes it all new and beautiful. And like you said, HE knows what we need more than we do ourselves. Ua tsaug rau koj qhov no ncej!!

  6. CrystalTeb

    Absolutely beautiful. I love that you mentioned how your preferences changed when your priorities changed. God is awesome, He has the very best for each of us but we need to get out of our own way so that we can see, receive and appreciate them. I’m a black woman who could not care less about race. My prayer is to see people as God sees them and walk in His will. That’s it. He’s our maker, who are we to be racist?

  7. MaralTeb

    Great blog that people need to read. I am Lebanese Armenian and my husband is black and we went through and are going through a lot of grief from my family.
    I never had a preference of ethnicity. Before I was saved I had 3 serious relationships of different ethnicity and after I got saved and grew in my relationship with Christ it was all about who I amcalledto be with; who God hasordainedfor me.
    Growing up it wasn’t so much a preference but a requirement by my family to marry within my ethnicity but I did not care; i was always considered the black sheep anyway
    To me all that mattered was what the Lord’s will is for my life and when my husband was revealed to me I had such a peace and such a knowing that I stood my ground. We are still praying for my family’s hearts to be softened but in the end all that matters is that I am in God’s will and His path and there’s no where else I want to be..I am safe and secure in His will.

  8. MichaelTeb

    This was a great post Trip. I’ve never felt interested in my own ethnicity, Hispanic, but as I’ve grown more in my faith it has become more apparent to me that skin tone doesn’t matter as much. This was refreshing to read and I thank God that he gave you such a great woman to help you continue glorify Him. Thanks for the inspiration in all your messages!

  9. JarredTeb

    My wife and I are white people. The Lord pushed us into adoption for our first child. In that process you can choose what you want. It’s almost like picking out a puppy. Anyway one of the choices you get to make is for race. We have no problem with any race, Txawm li cas los, where I am from they HATE black people. So we chose not to adopt a black child because of them and the way that they would be treated when we took them back to see my grandparents. I have often wrestled with that choice. Did we do the right thing? Were we protecting our child from that hate, or were we playing God in our own lives? We are comfortable with that choice now, because it is over, but what do you think?

    • DeeDeeTeb


      I read your postI’m black, and was adopted by my parents who are white. Even the judge who handled the case was black. Mom and Dad were nervous because we lived in an area where I and one of my other adopted siblings may not have been as guarded from people’s prejudices. Hais tau hais tias, they trusted God, and never encountered situations of concern.

      I think and believe that you and your wife did what was best for your family. Each situation is unique and God gives us a measure of grace to navigate life’s small and large moments. tsum yaum! Leej twg paub, maybe you’ll get the chance to adopt again and choose a black (or other ethnicity) child! God knew your hearts then, and he knows it even in this moment.

    • CeceTeb

      I come from a family where my white parents have adopted 6 black children. I think it’s very honest for you all to truly recognize that adopting outside your race means you have to be very intentional about allowing your child to experience their culture, and explore their blackness. If God had truly called you to pursue raising a black child, then it should not be that easy to have your family influence you out of that decision. Txawm li cas los, the questions need to be asked, is the decision to adopt more about me, or the child who needs a home? Can I endure all the backlash from friends and family that comes with adopting a child outside my race? Am I expecting the child to be raised in a way that forces them to give up who they are to be a member of my family? Will I leave space for my child to be able to wrestle through their identity of living between worlds? Is society set up in way that favors more the interest of me being white person to adopt over the true needs of the child? How ethical is this adoption process?
      Adopting a child means a whole mindset shift, and physical relocating if the environment you are in doesn’t favor your child’s needs. Relationships will need to be built with those who are coming from a perspective that you can never fully resonate with (being black). We live in a racist world, and that has to be made so aware by you and the child you raise. If you chose to not recognize that, then you are in many ways doing a disservice to yourself and the child you adopt. Adoption is not about you getting to rescue the poor black child. It’s about you being motivated out of a place of love and truly living out the heart of the gospel to reconcile and love your neighbor. This is not about you, as a white person.
      In many ways these are just a few questions you need to be confronting. If you aren’t ready to endure this and so much more, then not adopting a black child was probably a good decision. I posted an article below that allows you to question these things in a deeper way by inviting race into the dialogue and getting a glimpse of adoptees and their experiences.
      Not every story is a success story and often times those aren’t the stories being heard. I am fortunate for my experiences and my family. Nyob rau hauv ntau txoj kev uas, I have been granted with many possibilities to explore who I am with many opportunities, Txawm li cas los, I do know that it comes with a cost and we need to leave space for that to be talked about.

  10. KaraTeb

    HAHA! “Kuv lub ntsiab nyiam yog tias kuv tus poj niam yuav godly, thiab Jessica yog. So I wifed her.Best line in the blog. Glad God lead you to a great wife. :)

  11. John EvangelTeb

    Nyob zoo dawm!
    Long time reader & listener. First time commenter. I really love this article.
    My family is Nigerian, and my dad sent me a random text one Tuesday morning at 4am sayingIf you want to get married, make sure its someone from the same background as you are. At most, the same country.
    ntawm cov hoob kawm, I didn’t know what to say, because we’ve never discussed this before. #Awkward.
    I do know that I will love my wife, when I’m ready, regardless of complexion, racial background, language barriers, and any other possible differences. The most important thing for me is that she is an integral part of my familyGod’s family. That’s enough.
    tsaug dua!

  12. ViniTeb

    Thanks for sharing your heart Trip. We are all the same when we strip the skin. God has created each one equally and uniquely according to his special design. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj thiab koj tsev neeg.

  13. JoshHaanTeb

    Nothing wrong like you said Trip about marrying someone of a different race. What matters is that who ever you or I marry that they love Jesus (Mark 12:30 ESV) and that they will love you back and that we love her like God loves the Church. God bless you Trip and your family

  14. MichaelJTeb

    Awesome breakdown of how the Lord is constantly changing theeyes of our heartto align with theeyes of our head”. I can relate to the challenges, even though I’m not married yet, because a godly woman who has a desire to please her Savior is more important than any outwardly attribute. Congratulations on you all’s years and may God continue to bless the rest.

  15. arthur simuchileTeb

    We all have the same father but different mothers the same blood of jesus runs in us,skin is just skin,but what’s inside us matters most ,wonderfull Mr Trip Lee.may God bless you and your family for your wonderfull inspiration.

  16. deidreBakerTeb

    Wow! I did not know you had married and that she is a white women, as a black women and a women of God, congrats on finding true love! I love how you explained why you married your wife, and you really didn’t have too, but you story is amazing! so to you brother and your lovely wife Jessica, I wish you guys many many years! Be Blessed!

  17. ElizabethTeb

    Hello Trip,

    You make a excellent point! I have learn from your article that it does not matter about the skin tone but what matters is how the person is walking with God and their Heart!! Thank you for sharing a beautiful story.

  18. Jimmy SorrellsTeb

    That makes perfect sense. What doesn’t make sense is racism. Since there is only one race, to be racist is to be against the human race. There are different people groups but only one race but this seems to be a losing argument with people I have discussed it with even though its the truth.

  19. JeffreyCravensTeb

    I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.

    Such a true and profound statement. My father is black, mother is white, they have been married 35 xyoo. And some rough years too but in the middle of those conflicts, “skin tonemost definitely didn’t matter. The Lord has been gracious and faithful.

    dawm, this post is refreshing bro. I’m a week away from celebrating my first year of marriage to a godly wife who challenges me daily with her compassion. She also happens to be of latin, french and hawaiian decent. So reading this has been much appreciated.

    tsaug dua, Jeff.

  20. MichelleTeb

    Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this. Whether white, black, etc you’ve touched on what is really important. The spirit of racism has hindered us for a long time in a lot of areas. I believe we are breaking through nonetheless. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj & your growing family.

  21. BachizzleTeb

    I have a thought, I am a native american ( indian) I see it how you have and do trip. I studied at Southern sem. and people ask me when are you going to get married? I respond withwhen the time is right and i am right”. I do keep my eyes open and i sayi want a godly wife who will be so in love with Jesus that she’ll honor His word”. And the race issue does come up but i say it is difficult to find a wife who honors Jesus is word who is native american like me because of the cultural aspects and influences of pentacostalism and matriarchial system in native american culture. Thanks for your words

  22. CoriHTeb

    I enjoyed reading this post Trip. I am a big fan of yours, but I like the fact that you are open about the issue of race. honestly, race shouldn’t matter when it comes to who we marry. The only thing that should matter is if they are a Christian, and if they are aligned with the will of God for your life. Outside of the essentials, race or skin color is just a difference in how we look. I have dated outside of my race. I am black and my ex is Korean/White. It was never an issue for us, but I remember times when we we get stares from others. It was an interesting experience, but none of the negativity (which wasn’t much) would stop me from dating someone else outside of my ethnicity or marrying them. That was never an issue with me, my family or friends. The point is, we all have our preferences, but we should focus on what God wants for our lives first. Nice to see that this conversation is positive.

  23. TwinkleTeb

    I thank God that you wrote the article because as a single Christian women, I understand how important it is to be fully open to what God says, including who he allows to come in to your life and even takes out of it. I’m grateful for the statement that you madewe have to submit our desires to what God wants for us in a spouse”. This within itself helps me to close off my way of thinking and perceiving in order to focus on what God wants for me and my life. I’m black and have preferenced black men; however God is working on my heart in that area since I beginning to seek him in regards to a godly husband. Think about how many people actually choose the wrong person to marry or even miss out on who God has for them simply because of their on restrictions/preferences. Great article! It has truly blessed me and I’m sure so many others.

  24. KayKayTeb

    Being from the South and biracial, I’ve dealt with conflicts about interracial dating a lot. I can go from being a beautiful child of God to what some consider a mistake or a derogatory term. Preciate you speaking out on this! Hope my husband is as accepting of me as you and your wife were of each other! 116!

  25. JONTeb

    Good post i think that a lot of times it is not necessarily that we prefer a certain color or ethnic background, it is what you are used to. By you being a Christian and allowing God to open your eyes you found your good thing. Congrats bro.

  26. Daniel TroutmanTeb

    I think it’s cool and intelligent of you to write this post. It helps people that love doesn’t know trivial categories like race or nationality. 1 Khaulee 13 doesn’t say anything about race; it talks about patience, humility, and wisdom. Big ups for the great post!

  27. yuavTeb

    Txoj cai rau! This is a blessing. I’ve been asked, seen disappointed faces, and I’ve heard folks talking why/how I settled or becamewhipped”. I prayed for a God-fearing woman and He sent me her. I love my wife who happens to be white (I’m black). nws & our children are my greatest blessing from God and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank you for your open honesty. Love does transcends all.

    Proud of 116!

  28. MajorTeb

    Great story Trip and congrats. I do wish you would have made explicit that your choice of a wife had nothing to do with something being wrong with or missing in a black woman. The story leaves a void on that area. Tsis tas li ntawd, it should be made clear that perhaps your choice of a church and a school put you in a position to be around fewer black women. Many blacks live as minorities in all areas of society and this has an effect on same race marriages. I personally would love to see black women with quality black men, but I can’t argue with what God has joined together. Best wishes to you and your family b

  29. SeanTeb

    My wife & I are whitewe have 3 white children and 1 African son (Ethiopia). We get some of the same questions and odd stares, but we know we were ordained by God to be a family!
    I appreciate your honesty and openness to God’s will for your lifewhich I think is the main point of your articleSeeking God’s will rather than our own preference!
    This biblical concept can becopied & pastedto every aspect of a believers lifeand should!

    Thanks Tripp!

  30. JHollaTeb

    I applaud you for your willingness to share yourreasonsfor marrying outside of race. My first thought, as a man married to an Asian woman, was why do you feel the need to justify this to ANYONE. ntawm cov hoob kawm, mine and my wife’sskin tone is similar, our backgrounds and upbringing are so far from each others, anyone could saywhy did you marry her?”As you mentioned, your wife, is THE wife, THE helpmate, the other (if my wife is reading, “BETTER”) half that He has provided. God brings those in our lives that we need to have, in order to challenge us to make us better. So what if someone appears different from me on the outside. Zoo li koj, we should all be seeking those with a God seeking heart that is the most beautiful attribute one can possess.

  31. keshTeb

    Great ncej. To be honest I believe that many more Christians particularly single Christian women (myself included) would be married or could’ve been married sooner if we got rid of some of our shallow ideas. Just recently I’ve started to pray God I want ur best. We have to trust our Heavenly Father that he knows what we need. My main thing is I want a husband that fears God and I love how u said that main thing supersedes race even though God will bless us with the desires of our heart. Great post n God bless

  32. NicoleTeb

    Great job of not only expressing yourself, but doing so in a way that others will understand. When we begin to change our perspective on life in general, we will see a lot of what weexpecthas nothing to do with the will of the Father. The closer we are to him, the more and more ourexpectationschange because they begin to line up with HIS will and not our own. God Bless you and your family. Keep doing what you are doing my brother in Christ. Black, white or purple, color plays no role when it comes to the body of Christ uniting. I have been blessed with an amazing man of God, who happens to be my same ethnicity, but more than anything he is a man after God’s own heart which is all that matters in my book.

  33. AndreaTeb

    tsaug dawm! It’s really got me thinking about my own preferences and how at times I’ve kept an arms length from some good gents just cos I didn’t deem them attractive. Points to issues of pride. But really encouraged by the comments supporting interracial relationships. I wish my family shared these views. If I marry a black man, it won’t be easy.

  34. JasonTeb

    I think it’s great that you looked past skin color and ethnicity. I can’t stand when people hold to that and want to stay within their race for whatever reason. We are people with different shades of skin all affected by sin. My girl is Spanish and I’m black but I never look at her and see a Spanish woman, I look at her and just see a woman, regardless of skin color or ethnicity.

  35. MrsHendrixTeb

    Amen. I’m blessed by your response. Once we have a relationship with Christ, His will becomes our will and His will was for you to wife your wife lol…. (if that even makes sense). He designed her especially for you in vice-versa. She probably catches a lot of flack for marrying ablackdude, but the Lord knew exactly what the both of you needed. Seek Him first and all things shall be added unto you (including the right spouse).

    Stay Blessed brother and continue to be a blessing to others as well.

  36. Leilani BaileyTeb

    God Bless your Union Trip.
    Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
    Gods Marriage covenant does not consist of color or race. His eternal Love exceeds all..

  37. StacyTeb

    So glad you posted this. As the product of a bi-racial marriage and the wife of a man that doesn’t reflect either of them :) this topic is very real to me. God has blessed me beyond measure with my husband, and it pains me to think there are those out there who would refuse what God has for them because of their own ignorance/racism.
    Favorite line: “So I wifed her.” LOL!

  38. NatalieTeb

    Yuav ua li cas ib tug zoo tsab xov xwm, and Im glad that there are people out there like you who are opening up the conversation about a subject like this and being real with it, because there always seems to be a stigma attached to interracial relationships.

    I’m Chinese and my husband is black, and the struggles we’ve encountered along our journey together have been tough and a real test. We got married young just like you and your wife, kuv yog 21 thiab nws yog 24. peb muaj 2 daughters together, and when Im out alone with them, I’ll get stopped in the street and strangers would be likeis the daddy black?”

    Most of all the struggle has been with my family, because they never thought that I’d marry a black man. We had a small wedding and over half of my family refused to come. But God is amazing because through all of that, my mum’s faith was tried and tested, mindsets within my family had been changed. My husband is accepted now, and my mum would acknowledge him as her son in law now (which is a huge deal for us!) There’s still some way to go, but so much has progressed that I give all glory to God. Keep it up Trip, you’re an inspiration to others and I pray that God will continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.

    PS: You need to come down to perform in London, UK some time!!

  39. LoganSharpTeb

    Very well said. My wife is hispanic, I’m white. Race never came into the thought for me for very much what you said when you met your wife; I saw my wife’s passion for God, her desire to minister to students and we enjoyed a lot of the same movies and music and prayed for each other during dating. I don’t get why people think interracial marriages areweird”.

    Thanks for sharing that with your fans and giving encouragement.

  40. LeonMartinezTeb

    Beautiful testimony! Honestly this spoke to me and though I’ve never had racial preference or anything like that, it still reassured to me that God will provide what we NEED, not necessarily want. You’re a true inspiration and living testimony of the life-changing power of God. God Bless you and your beautiful little fam!

  41. ReewantaeTeb

    Wonderful article, dawm! First time commenter here!

    You are so on point when you say, “I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.” Tej zaum, I feel overlooked as a female because my personality and temperament are a certain way. I’m what you might callweird” los yog “differentaccording to many people I know. Some guys like a girl who’s a little more into mainstream fashion or someone who’s a little more social and outspoken than I am. At other times, I think that maybe I’m making myself less available by my own little discriminating ideas. Those ways aren’t based on race, but more on someone’s background or their mode of transportationbecause I ride the bus to school, and I don’t appreciate it when a guy tries to flirt with me on public transportation. (The idea is that if as a man riding the bus or train, you can’t afford to get a car and drive one, you have little money or are spending it on the wrong things, and therefore have no business trying to talk sweet to me. LOL… but this is also wrong.) I’m praying that the Lord help me to stay in His will for my life, so that when the time comes for that certain someone to find thegood thing,” I’ll be ready. :)

    Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau, bro.

  42. JuniTeb

    I totally agree that race should be one of those open hand preferences, but I don’t agree that it, or other ‘preferencesare meaningless when dealing with conflict. Tu siab, in my experience, what I felt was an open hand preference, and surrendered it in favor of the Godly man before me,became a serious source of tension in my marriage, many years later, when my husband gained alot of weight, on top of what I already considered was an overweight frame. I had always been attracted to more athletic types, so when I was faced with even more weight gain, kuv lees, I was sexually turned off. That led to conflict, and the conflict made my preference become a mountain. Instead of being a simple physical preference I put aside in favor of the bigger picture of the wonderful man of God he is, the conflict we were having about me not being enthusiastic about sex, sparked feelings that I ‘gave upsomething that was tangibly important and necessary, and now was faced with having to be a dutiful and loving sexual partner to someone I could not respond to physically. Only God’s grace has brought us through thus far, tab sis, honestly, his body is still a major turn off, and I still wish I had hung on to my preference and waited for someone who fit my physical type, as well as my need for a Godly husband

  43. SheilaTurnerTeb

    As a multi-raced individual, I have raised my children to look at the character of an individual when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend and less about color of skin. Because of that they have dated people from all races and have been exposed to many cultures. My comment has always been as long as they treat them with respect and love them, who am I to tell you that you can’t be with that someone based on skin color.

    I have to say that my favorite part of this blog is this statement right here, “I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.

    That right there sums it up!!!!

  44. EricTeb

    Good news! She isn’t evenwhite”! And you aren’t evenblack” dawm. Those terms are bunk. Praise God we are all of the one Adamic race. Even though we are different ethnicities, we are reconciled in Christ! Amen bro. Good article. One Blood. One Son.

  45. JessicaTeb

    txaus! Tsaug rau kev sau ntawv no. You are such an encouragement, and I praise God there are godly couples like you and your wife out there. Tsis tas li ntawd, I’m sure that together, you are able to reach a lot more people than you would be able to apart. Keep reppin Jesus.

  46. mention: Why He Married a White Girl by Trip Lee | 9jagirl4real

  47. LeesaTeb

    This was so awesome to read! heev luaj. I myself have dealt with the disppointing and rasist comments. My husband is white and I am black. We both come from to totally diffrent worlds. I never thought I would marry outside my race. I even vainly prayed that God would seen me a black man with dreads lol. But I thank God he knew what was best for me and blessed not with just a white man but my king on earth! Since we’ve been married I have truly understood what it means to love in these earthly bodies. Not to tell all our biz but we have been struggling with fertility issues and I thank God for my husband because he has continued to encourage me. We love your music and your ministry. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj thiab koj tsev neeg!

  48. kaileybrownTeb

    Kuv dawb, and my husband is black. When i introduce him most people wait until he leaves to sayhe isnt what i expected!!” it used to make me mad. Zoo li, who are you to judge my marriage. Now i just shrug and sayhe wasnt what i expected either, but i know 100% that he is the one God sent to meits nice to know your aproach. And just know your true fans know why she is your wife.

  49. TaylorTeb

    ****TRIP LEE****

    uas “martinComment has me rolling on the floor Laughingbut I definitely feel this entire Blog!! Man looks on the Outside and God looks at the heart. My wife often quotes that A womans heart should be so hidden in God. That a man has to seek him in Order to really Find her

  50. jakeTeb

    All who have been baptised into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, Scinthian nor Barbarian. This is the truth revealed in holy writ, Txawm li cas los, many a believer still haveunrenewedminds that’s. Why ethnicity is still an issue. I will continue to grown in birth pangs until Christ be formed in us all.

  51. LeesaTeb

    I am not married yet but a lot of my cousins are and they are married to people from different races from all around the world. It’s so cool that families can be made of so many different skins colors. I think interracial marriages are so beautiful because they remind us that we are all His children EQUALLY and beautifully created. The Lord looks at the heart and so should we as humans in friendships and romantic relationships.


    This inspired and blessed me in so many ways. I love to see interracial couples/marriages! It’s always been my desire as a black woman to marry outside my race. I look forward to the day I meet my spouse knowing he was hand picked and designed for me! We have to get to that place above all else where we turn to God and accept all He has for us. Sure it’s OK to ask or tell God what u want or like. Dig this He already knows. Better yet He knows what’s best for us. So we have to be mindful of what we ask or pray for. What u want is not always what u need! Trust God make your petitions known and allow Him to do what He do!

  53. AmandaBTeb

    I’m really glad you married Jessica. She is an amazing person with an amazing heart. You two have an amazing influence on people as a married couple who are in love with each other and Jesus. Just thank you so much for looking at the heart and not the color on the face.

  54. PaulaTeb

    dawm, all i can say is excellent, words can’t express the joy in having you share with such transparency about why you married your wife, This is really going to help those see from another perspective and who maybe pursuing marriage in the future. God truly knows what’s best for us. May the lord continue bless your family!

  55. dmoneyTeb

    dawm, thank you for preaching the truth to the misinformed and to me personally. though i am black im always pictured myself with someone of a different race. but i God has been slowly dealing with me to be accepting of all races and that the important thing is his heart reflects that of Christ. Thats what matters the most. Plus you have the full love and support of my home church. we are full of biracial couples and mixed kids. plus i have so many mixed friends that there overrunning the country lol. im proud of you for standing up and telling the world what they need to hear :)

  56. SPTeb

    I enjoyed reading this post, dawm. It hits close to home. I am also in an interracial marriage. I am black (Jamaican, Native American, the ancestry can go on) and my husband is hungarian, german, etc.—so he’s white. I always knew I wouldn’t marry a black guy and I didn’t know what race my future husband would be. So just like you, I went to college not wanting to date but to grow as a Christ-follower and get an education and I met and fell in love with a special young white male.

    When we started dating, a few months in we knew we would get married some day and we did just that a few years later. I was privileged enough to grow up in a diverse area and have family members who were also in interracial relationships so, his skin color never phased me. I saw him for who he was; a godly man whose heart was full of love, humility and kindness. He looked past my skin color as well, looking at my heart and seeing me for who I am on the inside. There is no doubt that God brought us together. I couldn’t have hand-picked a better husband for myself on any given day. Yog, I may have had my preferences too as to what I wanted my husband to be, but truth is, God truly did give me so much more than I deserve and so much more that I never knew I even wanted.

    There are times when being an interracial couple seems awkward in certain situations but last time I checked-we all bleed the same color.

  57. MelodyeTeb

    I’m thankful for people who are willing to listen to God above society in all areas of life and allow their minds to be conformed to His will and His way. I think often we don’t even realize the box and parameters that we place on ourselves. My family was military so we’ve been colorblind for the most part all growing up. However in the South preferences and stereotypes reign supreme, oftenI even had a close guy friend in college tell me that I was the most beautiful, smart, amazing girl he’d ever known but he just never thought he’d date a ___( insert race here)___ girl. BROKE MY HEART. hah and I didn’t even like him in that way. I’m glad you allowed yourself to fall in love and are in turn obediently opening your story up to others.

  58. JasonTeb

    Numbers 12:1-11…No need to justify yourself to men bro, seek to show yourself approved unto the Lord. A pure heart & faithfulness towards the Lord Jesus will cancel any charge or words any man can spek against you.

  59. kangstawillzTeb

    Yo trip u are the man.I will also do the will marry in the lord and skin colour race,e.t.c won’t matter as long as she a godly one.GOD bless u man.

  60. LindseyTeb

    Its so encouraging to read this. I’m white and my husband is black, and we live in a mostly hispanic neighborhood. peb muaj 2 beautiful girls but as you can imagine we get alot of looks. Our own families can be pretty negative at times. But the most important thing we’ve learned is that even though there’s cultural differences (especially when it comes to raising the kids), the most important thing is to keep our hearts and desires with Jesus.

  61. FortuneLawrenceTeb

    I’m so blessed by your post Trip!
    I have a question though. I am an African(black) lady and I prefer white guys to black. That is mostly because I’m not so comfortable with some of the traditions in my home country. Kuv yuav tsum hais, I love black men a lot but like I said, my country has some ridiculous beliefs. Would you say I’m wrong in making such preferences?

  62. JuliaTeb

    Great article Trip. I love what you said about race not being an issue. I’m white or at least look it to most people. I was raised in a biracial homemy mom is Italian and Hispanic and my dad was white. I am currently dating a wonderful black man who doesn’t have an issue with me not being the same race as him. He sees me as beautiful. Black women on the other hand see me as a threat. They only see me as whiteif they only knew the truth. It shouldn’t matter what race you are all that matters is that 5he person u marry is a believer too. Thanks again for the article.

  63. DanielTeb

    I used to use verses to discourage this kind of marriage. “Adam and Eve were most likely the same color / Samson’s dad wanted him to marry someone from the people of Israel / Isaac’s dad went to great lengths to find a wife from among ‘his peoplefor Isaac, thiab lwm yam…”

    My discussions on this topic were unkind, spotty and — quite frankly — baseless.

    And then God changed my heart and put me in a situation where I had no option but to lean on Him. He taught me what it is to trust in Him. And that’s when I started valuing those around me who also trust in Him. I drew closer to God’s people — regardless of culture background — and fell in love with His disciples because of the grace, faith and love they demonstrated.

    And that’s how this American ended up marrying a beautiful, godly Brazilian girl. It’s been 10 months and God has taught us both so much! It’s been a sweet relationship that has proved over and over again: God’s ways are best, when our conceptions are put to the test.

  64. TracyTeb

    I have always wondered how a child feels being mixed. I know for me I would want to be fully one race or the other. It wouldn’t matter which, Chinese, Eskimo, Indian etc. It is a question I have never heard addressed.

  65. ELVISNIXON.comTeb

    Great ncej

    One caveat:
    Hungarians are Magyars. Magyars are lineal descendants of Attila the Hun (hence the term HUNgarian) who are often referred to as theMongolian hordes” -Attila is still one of the most popular boys names in Hungary- as is Arpad- therefore they are,technically, Neeg Esxias.

    So you are even more diverse/multicultural than you thought!

  66. BrendaFTeb

    That was awesome! Her race honestly didn’t even click to me until i saw this post. I am black and my husband is half black and white (although he looks hispanic) and i get jokes all the time from people saying that i don’t like black men. Oh and don’t let them see my kids. BOL! It’s always a double take. I have been married 7 years and it’s still funny to this day. God bless your family man!

  67. TamaraCTeb

    Amen! Ua tsaug rau koj! Your testimony goes all around the worldPeople need that. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj!!
    Message from Germany, Europe!

  68. KeinyaTeb

    I appreciate this post so much. I am in an interracial marriage as well and my husband and I both have stories about how people who may know us and feel like they know us pretty well somehow learn of what our spouse looks like or in my case sees a pic of my kids (because they could pass for his look alone until you know they are part black then you may catch certain little features) and immediately sees they must likely don’t have a black dad and that was their expectation. Tsis tas li ntawd, my kids fluently speak another language so that really confuses people since our last name is Lawrence. There’s a story behind that too because he is of mixed race too (just not black). Xijpeem, I love the fact that you touched on this because for some, it’s such a huge deal and even struggle as there are some strong racial influences and pressures in our world (media, our loved ones even, cov phooj ywg, thiab lwm yam). My feelings are mutual to yours and many others who commented. Ua tsaug rau koj!

  69. KeinyaTeb

    Los ntawm txoj kev, I LOVE the song “zoo tshaj plaws” about your wife. It’s really beautiful and makes me think of my own relationship. Thx for great music too! :)

  70. JasonTeb

    1 Xamuyee 16:7…The Lord judges by the heart, so why dont we? We should make what the Lord has said our standard, not what our flesh wants/neither the standards of this world. Nyob rau hauv cov ntaub ntawv no, from a man’s perspective, the standard for a wife is Proverbs chapter 31, not skin tone/not the worldly standard of marrying inside your ownrace/ethnicity.

  71. TonyTeb

    I appreciate this because I’m African American and my wife is Hispanic. Her race was never a factor to me, because of her heart for the Lord. We now have a baby girl. When I look at my wife and daughter I don’t see a Hispanic woman, or a mixed baby. I just see the two biggest blessings in my life (apart from the Lord Jesus). Sometimes I even forget that we are an interracial couple and family. It’s not exactly easy all the time because of other people, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family!

  72. AndrewTeb

    dawm, thank you so much for this. I’m white, and from Cincinnati and where i grew up I was usually the only white kid on the block. My wife had completely different upbringing. she grew up in rural Nebraska as a Mexican. I can’t even begin to explain some of the stories she would tell me that her and her brothers had to grow up with because of the hate, stereotypes, and flat out ignorance of the people she grew up with.

    She moved to the Nati to be close to me. She moved there thinking she would not have to put up with, hear, or experience the things she went through growing up. Wow, were we both shocked! The things people would say to us in the mall, at the park, or just out to eat. You would think we were on the show, “What Would You Do.It was a struggle, our love kept us strong, our friends had our back, and our God kept us together.

    We now have been married for 11 years have 4 beautiful children to show for it. We also now live in that same small rural town where she grew up. The hate is less, but the looks are still there. The thing we always say/do whenever we experience theseattackswe lift those who areattackingus up in prayer. The Bible talks about love your enemy as yourself, and though I don’t consider these people to be my enemies, the concept of the scripture is still the same.

    hlub, we just need to show everyone love. No matter the race or background of a person, God loves them, and we are to be like Christ, so we too should love them.

  73. TakudzwaTeb

    Wonderful article Trip lee. As for i’m still single but since i was little i had interest in marrying a white woman because two of my uncles got married to white women. When i got saved i didn’t see any difference between black or white but as long as we are practicing the same Faith.

  74. Andrew AlmondTeb

    Wonderful post Trip. I’ve been struggling a lot recently with dating questions such as who I should date, and when, and why, and how to wait on God through all that stuff recently, and this post was very insightful. Tsaug rau sib koom.

  75. JennaTeb

    zoo ncej! dawm, you have a beautiful family, and I thank you for sharing your heart. Although my husband and I are both white, we grew up very differently. He is a true country boy and self-proclaimed redneck. I have always felt more comfortable around black people, even as a small child. I was never opposed to marrying a white man, but my preferences were definitely geared toward men in the hip-hop culture. People often ask us how we ended up together, and most people are shocked to find out my husband is white. He isn’t what I had envisioned for myself growing up, but he is everything I needed in a husband and father for our kids. The Lord has truly blessed me, and I can’t imagine my life any other way!

  76. mention: The List | Relationship Resource Kit

  77. RGTeb

    No longer your heart or preference but what God has planned/willed. It’s amazing how God’s providence is revealed. I am Native American who grew up on a reservation and my husband is Mexican. We both grew up in different states yet we believed in the same Sovereign God who willed where he wanted us to serve HIM and made provision for us to meet. We now live near the reservation in my home state. I prayed (as a new Christian at the age of 8) that God would use me in my home church and I would never have known that God would grow me into a Pastor’s wife of this said church! tsis tau, I’m blessed to know that this same powerful God who created the world could also use us to show other His great love and grace. To come along side my husband as his helper to share the gospel to my own people.

    This was a great encouragement to me. And it’s great to hear how God can change a heart to do His will! Continue to do His work!

    Thank you for the songs and the truths you incorporate. Our family enjoys your music. Especially my teenage sons.

  78. halfNhalfTeb

    My husband is mexican, and I’m filipino. kuv paub 3 languages and learning a few more. My best friend is black and her husband is arabian. It is amazing to see a mixture of races at churches and even in groups.

    We really do just look at the content of one’s character. It’s neat to learn languages and see all of the beautiful cultures. In Christ there’s no Jew, Greek, Male nor female.

  79. mattTeb

    One of my more embarrassing “nyiam” looking back was for my wife to be a Denver Broncos fan.

    thankfully, God allowed me to grow in maturity before he brought my stunner to me.

  80. MariaTeb

    I’m white, I got pregnant, first year of medical school with a black mans baby. At three months pregnant, God sent me a frienda brown Indian man. We were both just starting our medical school careers. What I was about to do was crazy enough. When he told his parents about me they threatened to withdraw all support, his brothers refused to speak to me. After a year and a half we got married we are still in school, raising our son and still have people confused. God is so good, at one of the most difficult times in my life, he gave me a friend, a godly man, to love me, all of me, kuv + baby. Heres to a real man. Heres to a very loving and gracious Father.

  81. Aleshia RobinsonTeb

    This is hypocritical but when I see an interracial couple in public I think nothing of it EXCEPT for when I see a Black man with a non-Black girl. I don’t even flinch if its vice versa but I do know that being a Black man in this society is harder than most. I used to work in a hotel alongside Black men and while guests treated me with respect and believed I could do my job with excellence, they flipped the switch with my Black co-workers right in front of me. I could deliver towels to their room but the guests wouldn’t open the door for them. I could check guests in with ease but they were asked “Kuv tsis paub. Can you handle this?” I could stand outside on break without bother but the police stopped them to askWhat are you guys doing?” People judge and treat Black men differently and I haven’t figured out why. So when I see a Black man with anyone else, my first thought isHe is trying to make life easier on himself.My second thought isHe wants his kids to have her features.But hey, who am I to judge? (Even though I do) I will most likely marry outside my race simply because of my LOVE of adventure so like I said in the beginning, this point is just straight hypocritical. At least you married yours for the right reasons.

  82. Lynn BurgessTeb

    I applaud Trip & Jessica Lee. Integration of the true church of Jesus Christ and “interracial” marriage within the church is the answer to racism in our culture. There is only one race, the human race, “male and female He created them…” (Chiv Keeb 5:2ib tug), and nowhere does scripture say to marry those of your same skin tone or eye shape.

  83. TionaTeb

    Thanks for the article! As a single black woman who loves God and seeks to live my life in a way that pleases him and reflects his love to others, I have prayed hard about this topic. The single men in the churches I have attended have mostly been non-black men. At times I feel like I am at the bottom of the totem pole, competing against the white, Asian and Hispanic women with long, flowing hair and features that I will never have. Even in looking through some of the Christian dating sites, I have noticed that a large percentage of the men with solid profiles indicate they are interested in pretty much all ethnicities except African-American.

    Your article was encouraging to me and spot on. I will trust God to provide in all areas of my life, including my relationships. tsaug!

    Thanks for your honesty!

  84. GrandmotherTeb

    Many, many years ago when my oldest son was about 2, we were driving through a black section of town and he commented that all the people were black and asked why was everyone black. I tried to explain that a long time ago people thought it was better if all the white people lived in one area and all the black people lived in one area. I further said that now we know it doesn’t make any difference what color your skin is. Out of the mouth of babes……nws hais tias, “yeah, the important thing is that we got skin!”

  85. tendekaiTeb

    marring a God fearing woman is the best you can ever do to have a happy family. well said trip what you want in a women is far more important than what she should look like.

  86. mention: Saturday Qw-outs: SBTS, Cutting It Straight, & Ministry Links | H.B. Charles Jr.

  87. KailaTeb

    I love that you were so open and honest with this post. I feel like the act of interracial marriage and dating is a topic people need be more open to discuss because in every generation I feel as though people have an issue with it. From my point of view I think it’s beautiful to see how love doesn’t discriminate.

    But I also think my openness toward it is because I have always grown up in a community where it wasn’t just one race and my parents never raised me to dislike anyone because of their skin. Tab sis, I did experience some slack my junior year when I took my best friend, who was white, to prom because my paternal grandmother isn’t fond of white people. Txawm li cas los, her reaction didn’t change my mind about who I should or shouldn’t date.

    I never had a preference on what race I dated. Tab sis, when my family found out I had a boyfriend and he was black, they were surprised. They were surprised because my immediate family has been living in a predominately white area for the past 10 years and they thought that would sway my relationships.

  88. danielTeb

    This was a very encouraging post. My wife is black/El Salvadorean. .. and I am a Korean man…. It is absolutely unheard of in Korean culture to marry outside of Korean race let alone a black/latina woman. As an odd interracial couple we have faced much adversity, but the only thing that mattered was Christ and our bond in Christ through friendship to courtship and now in our marriage.

    I never really post on things like this but this post did speak to me and confirm my resolve in how I council others who are in pursuit of finding a spouse in their ethnicity.

  89. KevinTeb

    I think this is an amazing story. I love how transparent you are because a lot of us try to hide things like wanting preferences, but i love how you said we have to submit them. I pray that God continues to show me things like this because I truly believe that it will help me to keep my heart and eyes on God and His Word and not just the appearance of the women around me.

  90. MJTeb

    STELLAR! Than you for sharing your love story. hluas, college students and young adults are in DESPERATE need of such examples! I know because I’ve been having a blast talking about sex, dating and relationships with them since 2003. Will definitely be sharing with them at

    Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau, dawm!

  91. zacharybrunotteTeb

    I’m a white man with a black wife. We are still in our first year, but no regrets! We have our fist child on the way and we love our little family. Like Trip Lee, I pictured myself marrying a woman of my own race (I think its just natural). But I never once questioned it or thought of it to be “txoj cai” los yog “wrong.She is of God. Thats the only race that I look at!!

  92. JennTeb


    I remember when you and Jessica first started dating! I remain encouraged to see you two continuing on in God’s grace. This was a great blog and I think it may be freeing for many people as they choose to look at the heart of the person rather than the outer.

    Jenn :)

  93. mention: Reading Highlights: 11/01/2013 – 11/12/2013 |

  94. JoelTeb

    Amen tij laug

    Run hard and fast towards the savior and if you see someone, in the corner of your eye running in the same direction, you should take a second look

  95. RachaelTeb

    Absolutely love this! I’m sharing this with my parents. My parents have issues with the fact that I find myself interested in guys of a different race. Even though I have not always been interested in the most godly guys, there has been times when I was interested in a quite godly man, but because he was not white my parents completely dismissed and forbade any sort of relationship with them. I am definitely sharing this with them, hopefully this will open their eyes.

  96. MauriceTeb

    Never saw it that way. I’m not racist, but in my growing up, there was a notion they taught us in our culture that implied that white girls only love you and hate your family. They love to be closed in. So my grandparents always saidif you want us not to come to your wedding or not to pay you visits at your home, marry a white girl. Because she won’t allow us to get close to you.

  97. mention: Blog Casserole – 12/13/2013 :: Carey Green - podcast producer, author, speaker, entrepreneur, sib yuav & family coach, and passionate follower of Christ.

  98. LivyTeb

    It’s funny. I’m white (part Hispanic, but no one would know by looking at me), and my husband is white, but he’s from the country and I’m from the city. He’s from the south, and I’m from the north. We aren’t THE SAME just because our skin tones are similar. We walk and talk and process things at different paces, and our families are really different, but we love each other, and God brought us together. Culturally, tab sis yog, it takes adjusting for both of us. uas, along with being equally yoked to serve the Lord, is what marriage is all about! Glad you spoke up!

  99. AmandaTeb

    dawm! First and foremost, your music is beautiful and awe inspiring. I love the message you preach in each and every single song. Continue the wonderful talent God has given you! Interracial relationships and marriages are absolutely gorgeous. It shouldn’t matter what race one is, but like you said, a Godly spouse. I am Caucasian, but have been attracted to African American men my whole life. My family is very, very, very accepting of this. :) Txawm li cas los, I pray that God sends me the right one, who has gentlemen and godlike qualities. I yearn for a man who says they love Christ more than they love me, respectful, and sweet. This has opened my eyes though to be open to all races instead of just black. God Bless both you and Jessica!

  100. TerriceTeb

    This was a great articlei really enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your stories and being so transparent. The Lord is using you in so many wonderful ways! Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau!

  101. SchiaTeb

    Wow, this article is awesome! Glory to God! dawm, you are a really good writer as well. I felt like I was reading a romance novel or something while reading your post. Lots of smiling andawwwwww!” LOL Thanks for being a godly influence on so many fronts.

  102. LeisleyAbrahamsTeb

    Thanks Trip that’s the best way it has been explained to me ever!!My girl friend and I are praying and waiting on the Lord for the next step.I’m black full blonde African and She’s white..I’m always getting questions as to why i like her and not girls my skin but all i see in her is a godly woman on fire for Jesus, Loves Jesus more than she will ever love me and that’s something I need in my life..You truly inspired me #wiseWordsTrip #NoWonderYouMyFavRapper

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  104. AprilCTeb

    I’m really glad that you took the time out to write this. This post is kind of random, never really thought about it (heck, I never even knew this page existed until today). Nonetheless, I’m glad you wrote itI think the part that sparked my interest the most was the whole preference issue. I was married to a man for 5 xyoo (we have 3 children together) who didn’t want to be married anymore because in his wordsI wasn’t his preference (he would often use a chocolate ice cream / vanilla ice cream analogy to attempt to prove his pointhis preference was a woman with a um….”nicebodyI’ll leave it at that). The crazy thing is he actually does Christian rap—(????). Xijpeem, I’m glad to see that you went about the right wayputting God’s desires above your fleshly desires…..Xijpeem, continue to Love your wife like Christ Loves the Church….I’ll keep you all in my prayers…..

    April C.
    Greenville NC

  105. ANDRETeb

    Yep. Same reason i married a white girl. Ua tsaug rau koj sib koom. Good read. Gracefully put. God bless you and your family brother. Praise The Lord, foreal tho.

  106. TgirlTeb

    zoo, I think people are more shocked by the fact that the few GOOD BLACK men are wife-ing White women and not us MANY BLACK women. It’s sad that racial comments exist, but it just the way people feel, in especially, women- that are Black. I have double standards my boyfriend is Latino & I’m Black and that’s okay (for Black women to date outside of their race). On other hand, when I see a decent (which are very few) Black man with a White/Other woman, I be like DANG another one of our brothers gonenow that’s just speaking from the heart racism or not. nws yog dab tsi nws yog.

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  108. JeffTeb

    Hav dawm, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult question. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. I only dated and had married a black women who I married more for obligation (child) and cultural expectation than mutual interest. Since I had no relationship with God aside from occasional church visits I believe I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me. I am so thankful for my wife’s courage to look at my potential and not my past and love me beyond skin color. Our children and our church ministry will reflect the love of God for people from every walk of life. The point is the Kingdom as the world’s great equalizer and Jesus as Lord of all.

  109. JeffTeb

    Hav dawm, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult topic. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. In the past I had dated and married a black women out of obligation (child) and cultural expectation (tsev neeg) than mutual affection. Since I had no relationship with God beyond church attendance, I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me.

    I am so thankful for my wife’s courage to look at my potential and not my past and love me beyond skin color. Our children and our church ministry will reflect the love of God for people from every walk of life and our desperate need for his grace. The Kingdom is the world’s great equalizer and Jesus as Lord of all the nations. We will pray for your family and please pray for us too.

  110. kennedyTeb

    I joined trip I never think I can get someone as some site always for lieying and robbing people I was ignoring some sms containing emails but u can’t escape God’s plan thus was like exciting to me an I read it being back my policy was any where who loves me but not only my ethnic then I got white American lady who didn’t care about race,culture only person love & care about herwho is mewith God all is possible she is my really choice.

  111. kennedyTeb

    I joined trip I never think I can get someone honest as some site always for lier and robbing people I was ignoring some sms containing emails to contact them but u can’t escape God’s plan this was like exciting to me and I read it being black my policy was any where who loves me but not only my ethnic then I got white American lady who didn’t care about race,culture etconly person right person & care about herwho is mewith God all is possible she is my really choice.

  112. RyanTeb

    I’m dating a girl who prefers black guysand I’m white. She assures me that she likes me a lot, but it’s still a huge insecurity to me. I hope to one day marry this girl. Is there anything to good read on this issue or any sort of advice?
    – tsaug

  113. MaleshiaTeb

    Yes Trip! I am a single black woman and a predominately white university and this type of conversation always comes up amongst my circle of black girlfriends. Although I have preferences for black men (I’m all for black love), I’m always open to dating outside of my ethnicity because you never know who God can use to make a difference in your life. I see people for who they are based on their personality, character, their values, and their beliefs more than anything as I’m getting to know them. Looks do matter and there are certain social contexts that may be misunderstood if the significant other was raised in a different ethnic culture, but these factors are not dealbreakers. If anything, they’ll make a relationship more interesting. Your story is such a beautiful love story that I too hope to experience someday. All in all, you can’t help who you fall in love with, regardless of if their black, white, yellow, Barney purple, or Ninja Turtle green. Love is universal and transcends all ethnicities. We as Christians are supposed to love all even with our differences. Sometimes your soul mate, true match, life partner, and best friend is someone who is completely opposite of who you ever imagined yourself being with. It makes me smile to hear that embrace how you were drawn to Jessica for the humble, compassionate, and God-fearing woman that she was and still is. Your union is a true testament that your shared faith in God transcends all differences. Be blessed.

  114. MarkTeb

    Hav, I feel you. I have Australian Aboriginal heritage and I always wanted to marry another Koori (Aboriginal) but because of culture and ancestral religions it made it very hard. I ended up marrying a Anglo Red head. But She LOVES Jesus and that’s what matters.

  115. ceceTeb

    God bless you and your family in Jesus name it does not matter what raise you are it matters on how they treat you and you are the best pastor ever real

  116. EzraTeb

    Chiv Keeb 15:12-14
    “And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; thiab, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.”

    According to the Song of Solomon 1:4-6:
    “I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.”
    Conversely Numbers 12:10-15 states that Mariam is cursed by God when she disrespects his prophet, thus Mariam was stripped of her hue or color becoming white as snow. The irony of this element is that Christians have murdered whole cultures and Caucasians claim they are the chose people, when the bible is Hebrew book about an Egyptian God who specifies that Israel/Jacob bore 12 sons and produced the tribe of Israel who are black, like all members of the Holy Lineage.

    I know who I am. And I am not opposed to Nubian people dating/marrying white people. I would never do it, but it just speeds up the process, so that peace can inherit the Earth instead of what we are enduring now.

  117. PKTeb

    I’m happy I found this post. I wish more people in interracial relationships expressed them9 in this manner versus having to put down other groups of people. In all honesty, the Lord has been working on my heart when it comes this subject. I used to not care at all about who someone was dating/married to racially speaking. Txawm li cas los, some negative encounters with interracial couples and the current anti-black woman movement left me jaded. But thank God for his grace, because He’s restoring my heart and opening my eyes to see people and marriage the correct wayeven the ones that express negative attitudes towards the ethnic group I belong to.

  118. AliTeb

    What I have to say is very sad .. I m from the eastern part of the world and my I married a white girl.
    its tough the cultrual difference.. We are getting divorce.

    My family doesnt wants to meet me and I never get adjusted in her family.
    She was the perfect women I can ever have, we are divorcing due to interracial issues..

    My parents are sick and they want to visit US and they cant live with my wife. I am the head of the household so I have to takecare of my family backhome.

    Im heartbroken, devastated right now becuase its happening now we are going thru divorce .

    I will always love her

  119. TheHonestTruthTeb

    Well i am a white Good man and i still Can’t meet a Good woman to settle down with since the women of today are so much Different than the past.

  120. EricTeb

    I really could care less what ethnicity your wife is, but it is incredible to hear you address this (or any) issue with such humility and poise. Thank you for seeking God first.

  121. BrookeTeb

    By all accounts are words could be no truer, for a believer or not. I must emphasize you use toward the direct,” I never cared, tiag tiag, what ethnicity my wife was to become, as I first choice would have seen her as black.Like many, I have stuggled in my Faith as seeking duty in His will, but I do believe with all that is me, that He will send me the desires of my heart ( not just a personal preference) because for me, I believe that is where apart of my patience and/or Faith is developing. As I do agree with YOUR story as it is YOUR testimony, I equally hold account to waiting for what seems the impossible because it lead by a desire, a need, not just a want. To be more specific: I would physically love to be in the company of David Beckham, Chris Hemsworth, and Ben Affleck (when single), but I have no desire to marry them; not when my heart desires the beauty, strength, character, and valor of the wonderfully-created black man! Had we remained in a world free from sin, this probably would not be a much concern, but in a world were such a beautifully-made human has been degraded, humiliated, chastised, disrespected, thiab lwm yam…I foresee no need not to complete my journey with him sent by Him. thiab ntsig, for me, given today’s disconcerning examples of a black man, I want and need my son to see that what once was, (a good man like his father before he passed) can still and will be again…….


  122. MarwaTeb

    It is a very great joy and blessing to my life, i and my husband have begin childless for 8years now due to my inability for me to give birth and it has resolves to problems everyday in my home,so i visited a female friend in Florida,and she came up with an idea of adopting a child which i never had in mind,and now i got no choice than to apply for a child and to my surprises everything went easily and today i am happy with the Hansom little boy(Wisdom)i adopted from the Inter country child adoption center.

  123. MaryTeb

    This makes me very relief.That was a good decision to make. You never know when the right person comes around.No matter what race I will stick to that as an African American.That I don’t always have to be in my comfort zone that I can go out the box. I really appreciate this statement you gave . May God bless you and your family with many many more blessings in your life.

  124. MarcusTeb

    Great to all of you who have married children of God. We should marry people who know how to love us and that WILL love us! This info is for daters onlynot married couples; li ntawd,, if you’re married, stay married, PLEASE! If you are dating, then ask God to show who you are supposed to marrybecause you don’t know sincerely! People can play nice-nice/hypocrite well for different reasons and fool you, people can be good people(but not the right one for the road that God has for youNOT COMPATIBLE SPIRITUALLYeven 2 children of God may have 2 different roads that do not line up; remember the bible verses where I believe the disciples rebuked a man of God because he was not associated with them directly; Yexus’ answer shows that people can have acceptable missions to God, but be incompatible; then again, God told Hosea to marry a prostituteif my memory serves me correctly). Yog li ntawd, by choosing the wrong one(sometimes, a child of God can be the wrong one for you), you might miss out on blessings that might only be unlocked with the right one. You may even bring a curse to you; your kids might be sickly or some may die before you; you might not be the right parent for you child; you may be infertile or infertile for a long time; you love one another and something’s still not right; you might get someone who has fooled you(there are witches, wizards, hypocrites, violent abusers, uncaring naggers, cheaters, ascribers to open sex or LGBT lifestyles, mentally unstable people, ascribers to bestialitywho only use the family pet as a cover, atheists or agnosticswho have used religion to win you over, liars, the narcissistic or selfish, alcoholics and drugheads, conpeople and getting illegal money, pagans/satanists, lazy people, the childishnegatively speaking, ntawm cov hoob kawm, verbal abusers, cursers, people who will never repent, serial killers, pedophiles/incestuous people, thiab lwm yam. out there).

    You ask God, because He has a plan for you and because(if you divorce for whatever reason) it’s my sincere belief that you aren’t supposed to get married again until your spouse dies(or have sex again for those who are crafty). You’re not supposed get divorced period(except for sexual unfaithfulness), but you should be without sex or marriage if you do for whatever reason. Can you honestly say that if you(if you get a HORROR of a spouse and you can’t take itit shouldn’t happen even then, but what are most going to do) or your spouse is the reason why you get divorced that you can go without marital sex for a period that might go outside your sexual prime(this period could be several decades)?! THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD ASK GOD WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY! It avoids sin later(because you may or may not get lucky, but He knows) and your Christian journey is maximized! What if God did not answer your marital issue(cov me nyuam, heev) prayersletting you reap what you’ve sown for choosing to marry for personal reasons only?!

  125. MarcusTeb

    On another issue: there are some marriages(unless you know God has signed off on themask Him to be sure; don’t guess) that could be asking for trouble: 1. BMWF marriages in America: we live in world of white progressive, objective racism! White racists are aggressive with racism more than any group that I’ve ever seen! And the black man is enemy number 1! They put disgusting things in your food, blacks and their kids may get filthy/germ-laced hugs and handshakes, spells/curses may be put on the man or his kids, cops profile and mistreat black men far more aggressively if a BMWF marriage is proclaimed as you are supposed to, they disown family, lawv “nepotizepure white family members(cov me nyuam, heev) and discriminate against mixed members(cov me nyuam) and the black man, they murmur against theirenemies”, they attack and/or kill black men, certain brother/sister relationships will become strained or inimical and almost all white brother/sister-in-laws will have no or an inimical relationship with their black counterpart, teachers subtly villify, thiab lwm yam. Can you imagine possibly your kids having no/a cheap relationship with their maternal family? At Christmas: white kids get a $150 gift from this member, but your kids get $25 gift or nothing. Can you imagine if something happened to your loved one(husband or child) and wondering whether your family had something to do with it and not being able to prove it? Many of these things can be expected; but also, these couples have to deal with the things that other marriages have to deal with, heev! Bills, domestic home/property care, family expenditures(sometimes unexpected), kids discussion(SPECIAL and requires more time than otherseven encouraging your child to realize that racist whites see them as black and maintaining a balance that he/she loves both parents and all people the same respectively), jobs, spending time with your friends so that they remain your friends, thiab lwm yam. There’s so much going on that makes the marriage unhappy, if God did not ordain it!

    2. Marriages where there’s a big gap in religious philosophy or where the main points of the religious teachings are opposite or not compatible. Just ask king Solomon. Christian and muslim. Christian and buddhist. Christian and hinduism. Christian and atheism. Christian and satanism(illuminati, freemasonry, and their other sects and ties). Be sure that God wants you there before entering, because God may use you to convert the person or someone else in your journey who will listen!

  126. JoshuaKirklandTeb


    I really admire your drive, determination, willingness, & txoj kev ntseeg. The fact that this disease you have has plagued you & really made life difficult for you is absolutely crazy! Txawm li cas los, you perserve & fight through all of that & continue to complete the things God ask of you. When I heard that the Unashamed Tour of 2012 was your last group tour, my mind began to wonder as to why you’re hanging it up. Once I found out that you had your fatigue disorder & that you were staring a pastoral internship, I began to understand that God had another purpose for you. When Rise was released, I was SOOOO excited! txiv neej, I was soooooo hype! To tell you the truth, The Good Life was the 1st Christian Hip-Hop album I listened to & purchased. Ever since then, I’ve been hooked onto hip hop music that praises Jesus. Your music has been so influential in my life. I pray that you continue to fight through your struggles and impact the kingdom! #116

  127. BlosamTeb

    Wonderful story. I am happy or you. I am married to my own ethnicity but that didn’t save me from miserable life I am living. I only kept my marriage to protect my kids future and God hates divorce. I live in a hell hoping to go to haven.

  128. LaKiKITeb

    Who are you trying to convince of your choice? You, or us? If you truly picked your wife, because of GOD this article would not exist. You don’t need permission. Yog, I am sure there were plenty of Black Godly women that were just as amazing as the woman you chose. But you didn’t want them, nor had an interest. Your desire was for your wife. This is fine. Just stop trying to justify it, as it is ridiculous and condescending.

    I AM Guessing only comments that cosign your status get posted, but I will try again. Free speech matters!

    • JamesTeb

      WOW REALLY. You need to go to God and get in the word. I dont think you know what you are talking about cause you clearly missed the point of this. Im thinking you dont realize the purpose of him doing this is to help and encourage others with the same situation. The way you came off sounds like its of resentment or ignorance or maybe even prejudence itself because you think he trying to throw it in peoples face he is with a white woman and thats not the case. It sounds like you mad he with a white girl period.

  129. TiffanyTeb

    What’s up Trip. This is Tee. I really enjoyed this article. Even though I’m years behind. lol. But honestly there is a reason I’m just seeing this. My husband is white and I too grew up imagining myself with a black man. But God created me to be different. Even growing up I was the cool kid on the block, known as one of the fellas. Then in college the fellas title change when they thought I was cute. But because I’m a officer that was to hard for a black man to support me on. So I got blessed at 30. 3 years strong with a beautiful little girl. I just pray the world can come together and know love has no color. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau
    P.S. My Lil brother wife is Asian, married 9 xyoo. My mom calls us her melting pot of love.

  130. MillzTeb

    Good Morning,

    Both my wife and I appreciate such dialogue as we feel these types of narratives astouchyas they can be need to be addressed in our society and more importantly as Christians. I am a young black man myself, my wife, who is white, is seven year younger than I. We both love Christ deeply. As we truly believe that through prayers Christ gave us each other. We now are parents of four beautiful children in a blended family. This union God created for us certainly didn’t come with its obstacles we lost friends and family along the way that we still pray for. The truth is God’s plan for us is never what we intended. And the bible is chock-full of scenarios that speak on our God’s plan and His divine perfection. (Hosea/Gomer is a perfect example)

    I think the world view of interracial unions have been marred by the tapestry of prejudice, hate, many other wicked and evils things that have plagued the thoughts of mankind since our inception. It’s the reason why the bible which is the greatest love story of them all still resonates even after all these millennias.

    My wife and I have experienced this hatred first-hand from both our cultures and even others not our own. It’s even more interesting when it is from a person who claims to be Christian or those who haven’t processed their own ignorance. When these things occur to us we see it as a blessing because we realize just how close we are to hearing God’s voice and not our own. nws (Tswv Yexus) at those very moments hits us with Galatians 2:20, it is then we realize the fight we may want to have isn’t ours to fight. Does it make it easier to hear that? Tsis nyob rau hauv tag nrho cov, they only reveal more questions like: “ok, I can’t fight back but what about my children? How do I protect them from the hatred they see?

    That’s when you realize that your marriage was not only a personal, physical journey but a spiritual one.

    My wife and I are in our ninth year on marriage (insert applause) and we haven’t been more stronger and more united because we see our mission now, it couldn’t be so much more clearer. When the bible says we are the light of the world, we truly are! And some may not comprehend that, but then you find the few who say to themselves: “yeah! What you two have I want that!”

    To my brother Trip and his wonderful family and extended family I say this,

    Your journey has just begun my brother and sister . Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. He will guide you so long as you never stop running to Him.

    There will be many obstacles I know for certain you probably have already experienced them living in the South. But you are an example of the true beauty of our God, and Lord Jesus Christ. In love and marriage this shows best, for the bible says multiple times thatFor there is no respect of person with God” – Loos 2:11

    God Bless You and all the others on this post who name the name Jesus Christ

  131. DawnnTeb

    bro, I so appreciate and respect you on this post. I’ve heard my fair share of reasons why black men marry women of a different race/ethnicity. This is one of the few times I’ve heard a brothaexpress the importance of Godly attributes over comparisons of why women of one ethnicity are better than women of another ethnicity. And truly it is about Kingdom purpose over preference. May our God continue to bless you, your wife and family!

  132. Trinitee HudsonTeb

    My brother in Christ. I am so blessed by this article. Thank you for allowing the word to teach and settle issues people don’t understand.

    I am encouraged by your stance in your marriage but also your ministering truth. Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj thiab koj tsev neeg.

  133. Joshua FordhamTeb

    I do not feel that this article was needed. I have never seen a group of people feeling the need to justify the desire to marry white as I have seen in black people more specifically black men. I noticed that black people who date and marry non white groups do not justify why they married that non white person. If they do, it is not to the degree that black people who married white.

    I just have a hard time believing that all those races of women at that school that were serving God and loving him to the fullest didn’t catch your eye but the white girl, the woman who has been said to be black man’s kryptonite, caught your eye for marriage. You just wanted to marry white and trying to bring God into that as a means to not seem like every this was so God ordained when this behavior predates slavery.

    If you want to date white okay but to write an article means there is something not settling in your spirit.

  134. Joshua StormTeb

    I agree with you, dawm Lee. I have come to know that the whole person is comprised of spirit, ntsuj plig, and body. So we are spirit beings, with souls, and we live in a body. It is very unfortunate that most people look at thehouseyet what matters is the spirit/heart of the person. I’d just love to re-emphasize this for someone out there reading my comment here. A man is a spirit-being. He has a soul (emotions and thoughts) and he lives in a physical body.

    That white or black skin that most people are always quick to identify is just a house where we live. Mine is black, perhaps yours is black. To define people by the color of theirhouseis like judging the contents of a letter from the look of the envelope. The reason why they sayhis body was laid to restis because you are not your body, but rather you live in it. If we all appreciated these truths, there wouldn’t be any race or color issues. God is creative, he knew that this earth was his canvas, and he could never paint it all white, or all black. The beauty of art is in the blend of colors, not just one. That’s precisely why we ought to celebrate one another’s race instead of ranting about our differences. A cake contains a good amount of several ingredients including eggs, salt, sugar, thiab lwm yam. When they are blended together and baked, we get good cake out of that. Try to put salt, sugar, oil, and eggs in your mouth before baking and you’ll probably puke your guts out!

    So whether your wife/husband is yellow, white, green or whatever is nothing worth discussion. The point is whether y’all find a connection that y’all think is worth keeping all your lives. Period. I honestly think that people who segregate on basis of race are small-minded, and they can’t see whole person (ntsuj plig, soul and body).

  135. Biota MacdonaldTeb

    Love that you wrote about this! I’m in an interracial marriage myself, and in many ways I was able to relate with a lot of what you shared.

  136. VerenaTeb

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