About a month ago I wrote a blog telling folks why I got married so young. I was deeply encouraged by the responses from all who read it and my prayer has been that the Lord would help us to think more biblically about marriage. If you didn’t get to read that original post check it out here: Why Did I Get Married So Young?
Well after so many folks reached out to me and told me how helpful it was for them, I thought it would be just as helpful to let my wife, Jessica, answer the same question from her perspective. So here it is. What made my wife decide to get married so young? She says…
1. I found a godly man
When I first met Trip, I was not planning on getting married anytime soon. But from the very first time we went out, I knew there was something different about him. He was passionate about the Gospel in a way that I had never seen before in a guy my age. I also never met someone with such a wise perspective on dating. Thanks to his discipleship before college he knew exactly what he thought a godly relationship should look like and he wasn’t willing to compromise that.
I will admit that I struggled with this at first. It seemed too serious and excessive. But over time the Lord began to show me the wisdom in a relationship saturated with community, sexual AND emotional purity, and dating for the purpose of marriage. If you’re not ready to be married, then its probably not a good idea to engage each others hearts. In Song of Solomon we are warned not to awaken love before its time. As women, we are very emotional beings and so when I met a man who was passionate about conducting our relationship in a way that would guard my heart, I knew I found a keeper :)
2. We were encouraged by the people in our lives
During our courtship we asked certain people to be intimately involved in our relationship. They would keep us accountable to our boundaries and help us make wise decisions about our relationship. We also went through premarital counseling before we even got engaged. These two things allowed for us to seek the wisdom of older, wiser brothers and sisters about whether or not it was a good idea to get married. God has given us pastors and mentors from our local church for a reason. They help us think through our decisions wisely and give a godly outside perspective. Relationships that are conducted in isolation are putting couples at serious risk of sin and unwise decision making. I would really encourage dating couples to have other believers from your community intimately involved in their relationship.
3. The Lord showed me the beauty of marriage
As a freshman in college I had what I like to call Superwoman Syndrome. I was very independent and career driven, very opposed to the idea of needing a man. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being independent or career driven, but in my heart it was more than that. I was despising God’s design for men and women. I would have never said that out loud, but if I was honest, I was frustrated with what I thought the Bible had to say about women. We are weaker, we can’t teach, we can’t lead, we aren’t the head of the household, and my very favorite, we are to have a gentle and quiet spirit. I thought I had anything but a gentle and quiet spirit and I wasn’t interested in changing my personality. All of these thoughts led me to think that marriage was something that would hold me back. It would keep me from pursuing all the career dreams I had and some day I would end up with 10 and half babies on a farm somewhere.
Thankfully, over the years the Lord has taught me and showed me what it really looks like to be a godly woman. Being a godly woman isn’t defined by what you do or don’t do. I know plenty of godly women who faithfully serve the Lord in a corporate job and countless women who serve their children and husbands faithfully at home. Biblical womanhood is about understanding God’s unique role for us as women and delighting in the beauty of Gods design.
As a married woman I have learned so much about what it means to be a godly women and I don’t feel chained down by my husband or my marriage. God’s design for marriage is for our good and His glory. Knowing and believing that gave me the confidence to marry at the age of 22. Two and half years later, I don’t have any regrets, and I can only pray that the Lord continues to bless our marriage.