Omkring en måned siden skrev jeg en blog fortæller folk, hvorfor jeg blev gift så ung. Jeg blev dybt opmuntret af svarene fra alle, der læser det, og min bøn har været, at Herren ville hjælpe os til at tænke mere bibelsk om ægteskab. Hvis du ikke fik at læse, at oprindelige indlæg tjekke det ud her: Hvorfor har jeg Get Married So Young?
Nå efter så mange folk nåede ud til mig og fortalte mig, hvor nyttigt det var for dem, Jeg troede det ville være lige så nyttigt at lade min kone, jessica, besvare det samme spørgsmål fra hendes perspektiv. Så her er det. Hvad gjorde min kone beslutter at blive gift så ung? Hun siger…
1. I found a godly man
Da jeg først mødte Trip, Jeg var ikke planer om at blive gift helst snart. Men fra den allerførste gang vi gik ud, Jeg vidste, der var noget anderledes ved ham. Han var lidenskabeligt om evangeliet på en måde, jeg aldrig havde set før i en fyr på min alder. Jeg har aldrig mødt også en person med sådan en klog perspektiv på dating. Takket være hans discipel før kollegium han vidste præcis, hvad han mente en guddommelig forhold skal se ud, og han ikke var villig til at gå på kompromis, at.
Jeg vil indrømme, at jeg kæmpede med dette i første omgang. Det virkede for alvorligt og overdreven. Men med tiden begyndte Herren at vise mig visdom i et forhold mættet med fællesskabet, seksuel og følelsesmæssig renhed, og dating med henblik på ægteskabet. Hvis du ikke er klar til at blive gift, derefter dens sandsynligvis ikke en god idé at engagere hinandens hjerter. I Højsangen er vi advaret om ikke at vække kærlighed før dens tid. Da kvinder, vi er meget emotionelle væsener og så da jeg mødte en mand, der var passioneret om at gennemføre vores forhold på en måde, der ville beskytte mit hjerte, Jeg vidste, at jeg fandt en keeper :)
2. We were encouraged by the people in our lives
Under vores frieri spurgte vi nogle mennesker at være tæt involveret i vores forhold. De ville holde os ansvarlige over for vores grænser og hjælpe os med at gøre kloge beslutninger om vores forhold. Vi gik også gennem førægteskabelig rådgivning, før vi selv fik beskæftiget. Disse to ting er tilladt for os at søge visdom ældre, klogere brødre og søstre om, hvorvidt eller ikke det var en god idé at blive gift. Gud har givet os præster og mentorer fra vores lokale kirke for en grund. De hjælper os med at gennemtænke vores beslutninger klogt og giver en guddommelig uden perspektiv. Relationships that are conducted in isolation are putting couples at serious risk of sin and unwise decision making. I would really encourage dating couples to have other believers from your community intimately involved in their relationship.
3. The Lord showed me the beauty of marriage
Som en freshman i college havde jeg, hvad jeg vil kalde superwoman Syndrome. Jeg var meget selvstændig og karriere drevet, meget imod tanken om at skulle en mand. Jeg tror ikke, der er noget galt med at være uafhængig eller karriere drevne, men i mit hjerte det var mere end det. Jeg foragtede Guds design til mænd og kvinder. Jeg ville aldrig sagt, at højt, men hvis jeg var ærlig, Jeg blev frustreret over hvad jeg troede Bibelen havde at sige om kvinder. Vi er svagere, Vi kan ikke undervise, Vi kan ikke føre, Vi er ikke lederen af husstanden, og min meget foretrukne, vi skal have en blid og rolig ånd. Jeg troede, jeg havde noget, men en blid og rolig ånd og jeg var ikke interesseret i at ændre min personlighed. Alle disse tanker førte mig til at tro, at ægteskabet var noget, der ville holde mig tilbage. Det ville holde mig fra at forfølge alle de karrieredrømme jeg havde, og jeg en dag ville ende med 10 and half babies on a farm somewhere.
Heldigvis, i årenes løb, som Herren har lært mig og viste mig, hvad det ser ud i virkeligheden at være en guddommelig kvinde. At være en guddommelig kvinde er ikke defineret af, hvad du gør eller ikke gør. Jeg kender masser af gudfrygtige kvinder, som trofast tjene Herren i en corporate job og utallige kvinder, der tjener deres børn og ægtemænd trofast hjemme. Biblical womanhood is about understanding God’s unique role for us as women and delighting in the beauty of Gods design.
Som en gift kvinde, jeg har lært så meget om, hvad det betyder at være en guddommelig kvinder, og jeg føler ikke lænket ned af min mand eller min ægteskab. Guds design for ægteskab er for vores gode og hans herlighed. Vel vidende, og tro, der gav mig tillid til at gifte sig i en alder af 22. To og et halvt år senere, Jeg har ikke nogen beklager, og jeg kan kun bede til, at Herren fortsætter med at velsigne vores ægteskab.
Jdharden1
august 19, 2013 / på 7:53 er
Det er fantastisk, how God can write the most perfect love story to those who hand over the pen to him. Thank you Jessica, I really needed this. This encourages me as a 16yr old to submit to God and let him have his way in my love life. Gud velsigne dig.
Jannon Fitzpatrick
august 19, 2013 / på 7:53 er
I LOVE THIS!! We are youth pastors at a small church and I always tell the teens, “There are only two things you will ever do in a relationship… 1) Get Married 2) Break up. Breaking up hurts and creates baggage, so if you are not ready to get married, it’s best not to start in a relationship.” (Not that you don’t grow to be ready for marriage in a relationship, but I’m mostly talking to 13-16 yr olds.) Most people start a relationship thinking it will be a small, shortlived, fun thing. But then feelings develop, you fall into sin, and then it’s harder than ever to get out. If we would protect the heart God Gave us as precious, and go at relationships from this perspective, the perspective of it ending up in marriage to a Godly man or woman, we would be far less hurt and broken by the time that Godly man or woman God has for us comes around! Tak fordi du delte!!!
Demonslayer4god777
august 19, 2013 / på 7:54 er
I’m really glad I clicked on the link to read this post. Jeg er 25 and my husband and I have been married for nearly 5 år. Nu, I am the first to tell everybody that God is the reason we are married. Like you, på 21, I was NOT looking for nor did I want a husband, shoot I didn’t want a boyfriend. 2007 was the year God completely changed my life. In January I had just discovered what God really wanted was relationship rather than religion so I was on high(spiritually) and zeal like nothing I had ever experienced before. Next thing I know a month later I was married. Crazy I know. But what can I say…God told us to do it. And five years later, we are still together, and growing together in Christ. Nu, I wouldn’t advise to anyone to do it as rapidly as we did. But I wouldn’t advise against it, if you feel led by God, and have prayed and fast. I pray that God continues to not only grow your marriage but strengthen it. I pray that your love for each other also continues to grow. I bind up anything, anyperson, any spirit, that would try to divide you. I pray that you are blessed with great communication skills, and increased patience. May God keep you, in Jesus name.
Matt Novak
august 19, 2013 / på 7:54 er
Thanks guys for using your courtship and marriage as an example and encouragement for young singles and young married couples. Thanks for glorifying God with your marriage, and sharing your wisdom and experiences with the body of Christ, which is in fact the bride of Christ, so this also gives us a portrait of how we are to live as the bride of Christ. Praise God for the work he has done in your lives to mature you both at such a young age.
Ariep17
august 19, 2013 / på 7:54 er
Wow this was really great! Som en 20 y.o. ppl look at me like im insane for having the desire to get married. I would love to see some expansion on what you mean by “emotionally pure.” I love the trasparency also in what you said. God bless yall
Philipns2 5 11
august 19, 2013 / på 7:55 er
I bund og grund, when she says “emotionally pure” she’s talking more about not already in your mind trying to marry the guy or think that you are “exclusively” his just because you’re dating. That can lead to other sinful thoughts like, “sexual fantasies, lust,etc.” You realize you’re emotionally impure when your vision of that other person’s character is so clouded that you make the relationship an idol in your own mind. That’s why Proverbs 4:23 is so important to live by,especially as a woman because we are, like was mentioned, “emotional” creatures.
Ariep17
august 19, 2013 / på 7:55 er
I got you now thanks. Your absolutely right. I myself have struggled with that. That only leads to unnecessary hurt
Kerai Riddle
august 19, 2013 / på 7:56 er
jeg elsker det her!!!!!!!!! Sometimes you seem to forget that youre not the only one because so many around you mostly peers seem to think your “jumping the gun” so many people to me that i wasnt ready and im too young, but i truly believe this is what god had in store for me. I was scared out of my mind the day after because not only did i get married early at the age of 18 i also married a man i knew less than a year and he was only 19. We had a instant connection like our souls were destined to be together, i love him more now than i ever have hes my partner for life and i wouldnt change it for anything. We prayed together and went to church together got married and had a child together now here we are..It will be 3 years in february and i still have no regrets that i made this move :-) god has blessed me with a good man.. My vows mean the world to me and i wouldnt break them.. Thanks for posting this keep it up i love young love… You hardly ever see couples last til death but i strive to be that couple til death do we part divorce is not an option!!
Adrienne Kelly
august 19, 2013 / på 7:57 er
God bless you two. He surely will because you trusted Him and His divine plan for the male/female relationship and came into covenant agreement that you would honor Him and each other for life. I’m so proud.
M.A.R.V.
august 19, 2013 / på 7:57 er
Loved it!! Ay yall should a Woman-up a insight on biblical womanhood and all your wifes do it :)
Louib 2001
august 19, 2013 / på 7:57 er
Pris Herren for din bror og din dejlige kone i din ungdom. Jeg beder til, at Herren vil udøse gunst uafbrudt gennem dit liv, fordi du har adlød hans ord. Jeg er 28 og har været gift nu i næsten to år, og min kone og jeg har et lykkeligt ægteskab og et dejligt 10 møl gammel baby. Jeg har altid ønsket at blive gift yngre, men jeg tror, at det endnu ikke var tid for mig, før Herren næsten bragte min gode ting 5 år siden (for at være præcis mødtes vi den dag, vi blev født på ny 31 december 2006). Jeg vidste ikke, at vi var bestemt til at være sammen, da jeg tog hende som en almindelig søster fra kirken. Jeg koncentrerede mig også om min åndelige vækst, men for tre år siden åbnede mine øjne sig, og resten er som de siger historie.
Det er i Satans dagsorden, at folk ikke skal giftes, så de lever i synd, og vi allerede ved, hvad der vil ske. Har vi set på antallet af skilsmisser i kroppen i dag? Hvad med brødre og søstre, der utugt i kirken, på grund af hvad samfundet dikterer.
Hvis vi ser på, hvordan vores byer er fyldt med ungdomsvold i dag, tager vi et øjeblik på at tænke på nogle af de grundlæggende årsager? I det øjeblik, mennesket udveksler gudfrygtige værdier med cirkulær isme, faldt alt dette fra hinanden. Selv kristne forældre fremmer uvidende cirkulærisme ved at afskrække deres børn fra at blive gift som små (i en alder af bekymring naturligvis). Årsagerne er jeg citerer”du skal have en uddannelse, måske når du er færdig med din master og har et ordentligt job, så begynd at tænke på ægteskab”. Det lyder klogt ikke ? Så hvad sker der, når dit kristne barn går på universitetet og derefter flytter ind hos en dreng/pige veninde, hvis enten kristne eller ikke?
Misforstå mig venligst ikke(det er bare nogle af de ting jeg er stødt på), fordi ovenstående udsagn ikke gælder for alle. Uddannelse er meget vigtig, da man tilegner sig viden til deres respektive erhverv, så de kan arbejde og forsørge deres fremtidige familier osv, men ægteskab vil ikke forhindre en i at få succes på det område i livet, man vælger at følge, faktisk fremmer et ægteskab generelt vækst, dvs. stor tjeneste, god hede, rigdom og listen fortsætter. Husk de to bliver ét kød og kan jage 10 000 wow, det betyder, at i enighed, hvad de end beder Gud trofast, vil de opnå, fantastisk…..
Til sidst vil jeg gerne foreslå, at vi som kristne begynder at lære vores børn i en ung alder om vigtigheden af først at leve for Gud og for det andet vigtigheden af ægteskab( til dem, der har fået gaven) så de vokser op med at ville behage Gud på dette område. Endnu en gang godt gået min bror og til alle dem, der lever efter Guds ord. Forbliv velsignet.
Iwantstate01
august 19, 2013 / på 7:58 er
jessica, could you share some of the practical things Trip did during your courtship to guard your heart EMOTIONALLY. I understand setting physical purity boundaries. But what did it look like practically in the emotional area?
Tak!
Purposedrivenjc
august 19, 2013 / på 7:58 er
this gave me a new outlook in marriage, thanks bunches
Kory Hagler
august 19, 2013 / på 7:58 er
My heart is truly encouraged, absolutely beautiful
Robert Rivera
august 19, 2013 / på 7:59 er
Smuk!! God bless you guys!! meget opmuntrende…
Punchyko
august 19, 2013 / på 7:59 er
wow!!! good stuff, thanks so much for posting this blog! Grace&peace 0=)
Katherine2c
august 19, 2013 / på 7:59 er
I so NEEDED to read this!!! tak!! I struggle with the things you once struggled with and I want to honor the Lord and my husband!!!! With that being said, I will continue to strive to be that P31 wife!!! Tak!!!
Paul WenChih Anibal
august 19, 2013 / på 7:59 er
Anything worth doing is worth doing better with a synergistic partner. … so we write: http://mentoringmarriages.word…
Thanks for your article.
ChosenV
august 19, 2013 / på 8:00 er
I really thank God for your blog. After reading it for the 1st time I was wow’d at Gods work. Three months down the line I read this again and I’m still wow’d. I’m a 22 year old female and with marraige “looming”, your blog is trully inspirational. It is my prayer that my man be as God driven as Trip was in terms of fulfilling his role as a man in our relationship. May God bless you:-)
Chelster
august 19, 2013 / på 8:00 er
At Man Up, LA, a couple months ago, Jess mentioned that Trip is her “covering,” and here she talked about how she used to be a “superwoman,” but came to learn what godly (submissive) femininity is supposed to look like.
Can either or both of you speak a little more specifically on what you believe God’s idea is for men’s and women’s roles in a marriage? Y’all are a blessing!!
Nicole-Rose Munhawa
august 19, 2013 / på 8:00 er
I really think your story is wonderful. Both of you grasped the beauty of the gift of marriage and you’ve really inspired me. Congratulations on your marriage and I pray for outrageous love to be shared between you. So happy for you
Kayla_brown_1
august 19, 2013 / på 8:00 er
why cant i find that :(
Godgiven51
august 19, 2013 / på 8:01 er
Such a wise perspective,my wife and I have been married for 5 years and I am also in the Gospel hip hop field,its always awesome to have her in my corner praying when we travel,you wives play an important part in our lives,keep doing what ya doin sis!
Iolene_Branch
august 19, 2013 / på 8:01 er
I put myself on the journey to be a better woman of Christ at the beginning of 2011 and I must say I have come a very far ways and I am extremely proud of myself. During my journey God placed a blessed man in my path and reading this blog has definitely played its part as the last sign needed from my prayers.
I also had no intentions of searching for a man to spend the rest of my life with at 20 år gammel, but here I am, and this blog is extremely encouraging. For me to stand beside him in all his endeavors and be the woman God created me to be and be by his side as God molds him to be the man he needs to be.
Tak for dette. I really do appreciate it :)
Arnold Mofor
august 19, 2013 / på 8:01 er
Whao, Trip and Jessica! You actually do not know how far your lessons are reaching-I am in Cameroon. Jeg er 25 yr-old and recently took a day in extended time with God to seek God concerning my future partner. Then I came up with a checklist/ Prayer points list of the kind of woman I want to date and eventually marry. Then a day later I met your blog. I think God is preparing me in special way. This is my Wife’s Checklist/ prayer points list:
ARNOLD’S WIFE CHECKLIST/ PRAYER POINTS LIST
ATTRIBUTES STRENGTH
(grade 1-4)
Devoted and growing Christian
My suitable Helper
Respects her parents, her family, the authority and me in my presence and absence
Partners with me in my ministry
Submissive in everything
Has a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
Shares similar thoughts, struggles, pains, no secrets
Does not desire outer beauty-clothes, jewelry, hair styles
Prudent and Generous
Hardworking
Makes me desire to work extremely harder
Angela Johnson
august 19, 2013 / på 8:01 er
What a Blessing You Both Are! Keep On Keeping On With HIM! You Won’t Go Wrong…..Nogensinde! I got married young but without the wisdom of HIM and others who were led of The Spirit to encourage us to seek HIM first……I must say that anyone who chooses HIS Way will be positioning them selves to receive HIS Plan for them and not their plans for themselves which is Far Greater than Anything we could ever “think of” for ourselves….TRUST IN HIM!:) I am walking by Faith and not by Sight (2 corinthians 5:7) Or I would have killed my self……Without HIM I saw no good thing. Thank You LORD For Sending The Holy Spirit Who Comforts and Guides me. JESUS Is LORD! ( I am still married and we Both <3 The Lord!) Stay Blessed!:) Much <3 and Peace!:) Very Inspiring of you both to have posted, Thank You Very Much!:)
aneetarh
august 19, 2013 / på 8:03 er
thank u so much Jessica,dis is exactly wot i need right nw. God rilly bls u guys. I’m 21,in a godly relatnshp n my boyfriend wants us 2 get married ASAP. I wasn’t sure if it’s a gud idea cause i felt i wasn’t matured enuf bt i thank God 4 dis,if it’s God’s will den i totally subscribe 2 det
Rchllnndreher
august 19, 2013 / på 8:03 er
WOW the reasons behind you getting marride are the same as mine were and what still make me believe I made the right choice I also felt God saying this is the one it is time to let go of the past only our pastor didnt approve which made it a hard choice in a way other than I was following God. jeg er 22 and just got married 2 mo ago. It may be a short time but God is growing us together and teaching us so much(for me how to open up be soft and be a woman as God created me to be) It was awsome to read this and I want to thank you for taking the time to write it. May God Bless You and Your House!
Rachel Wright
august 19, 2013 / på 8:03 er
Ya’ll testimony is so awesome! It is is encouraging to hear that ya’ll were able to get married young. I myself am getting married this summer at the age of 21 and God has blessed us in so many ways and continues to amaze us and bless us! Thank you once again from both of you for these uplifting blogs!
Dfletcher812
august 19, 2013 / på 8:03 er
I Totally Agree. I got married at the age of 18. Yes I was a baby but, the Lord spoke to me and told me not be afraid to take a leap of faith and being Obedient to the will of God i did. Now Im 24 with Three Kids and my Husband and I are very deep in ministry of music. God has done some impossible things in our lives and I love to hear that other young women and young men of God realize that God has given their soul mate to them and deiced to make the right decision.
And we cant forget, Mary married Joseph at 14 years of age and Birthed Jesus, She was a virgin and pure in the sight of God. So Ladies and men stay pure for God until u marry!!!
Grabiel Rivera
august 19, 2013 / på 8:04 er
thats great the same has happened to me and my wife , i was 21 og det var hun 18. we let god direct us and be in our marriage and now he showing us his work in our lifes and in our marriage. may god keep blessing yah marriage like he has done in ours god bless
Addis Hunter
august 19, 2013 / på 8:04 er
Thank you for your testimony, I can relate to you in many ways. I do have to admit that I struggle daily with “having a gentle and quiet spirit” part of marrige..Like you, I was and still am very driven and independant , and acknowledging my husband as the head of household and submitting to his ideas (even when I dont agree) is my biggest challenge as a young wife. I ask God every day to help me humble myself and submitt to my husband in every way. Tak for at dele.
Cy Hudson
august 19, 2013 / på 8:04 er
You guys are such an incredible blessing to young believers! I love these two blogs and thank the LORD for all he has spoke to me through you two!
Jennifer Ann Seller
august 19, 2013 / på 8:05 er
21 år gammel, and I feel like you’re describing me. I definitely have that Superwoman Syndrome. Thank you so much for your inspiring testimony, it gives me hope :)
Orinthea Mckenzie
august 19, 2013 / på 8:05 er
I am really encouraged by this testimony. May God Bless your union
Pulemolise
august 19, 2013 / på 8:05 er
thnx alot Trip and Jessica,many adults nid 2 see dis,i m truly encouraged by you guys,I luv hw ur sides complement,-Trip met a godly woman and Jessica met a godly man,wow!(dats why u had 2 blive gift,lol!) nd we thnk God 4 u guys,u hv shown dat u can b responsible adults at a young age wen adults at an older age cant evn manage a fraction of wat u r doing,big-ups 2 u,nd may God continue 2 bles ur marriage more and more with each day dt comes
Uyi Ewansiha
august 19, 2013 / på 8:06 er
this got my thinking about a lot
simon paul -----uk
november 9, 2013 / på 5:55 pm
Thank u so much Jessica for such apowerful encouragement .Am 21 but i alwalys thought growing means focus on a relationship .Sorry to bother you, Does dating someone in a christian relationship meanyou have to marry that very person , though she has got all the intimacy ur looking for..n you dont wanna hurt person..cos she expects uto be her hubby …How would u handle such a catastrophe?????thxx.
Kaila
november 14, 2013 / på 9:36 pm
I know this was written awhile ago and I finally got a chance to read it. Men, I guess this was a good time for me to read it. Seems like God keeps putting little things around to tell me it’s time to put him back into things. And I think not only my relationship with my boyfriend is what’s needs Him back in it, but this shows that He can help smooth things out.
I also found it interesting that I never thought of my mindset as the Superwomen Syndrome, but I can definitely can say I need help working on mine. That’s how my boyfriend describes me when I try to take on too much whether it be emotionally or work wise.
Colton
februar 10, 2014 / på 5:00 pm
Hej Trip! I read both of these blogs, and they (along with the godly counsel of family and friends) have been immensely helpful to me in the past few months. I’ve met the girl that I know God has for me to marry, and we’re just waiting on his timing. It’s quite possible that we will end up married even before you were, or at least by then!
What advice would you give to someone who is in every other way ready to marry, except for the ability to provide a home (because of attending college)?
Thanks so much!
Nadene
Kan 24, 2014 / på 5:38 pm
This was beautiful. Can’t express how much I needed this :'). God is truly faithful!
Myles
september 4, 2014 / på 4:52 pm
Thanks Jessica that was Gods truth I had to hear!
Femi
februar 21, 2015 / på 1:34 pm
Thanks for sharing Jessica. this has surely changed my view on dating; not to awaken love before its time. dope!
Lily
juni 11, 2017 / på 12:47 er
Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom on the topic. Reading this has helped me more than you know.