Wêrom ik Hat Married So Jong: Ut Myn Wife fan Perspective

Oer in moanne lyn ik skreau in blog telling folks wêrom't ik troud sa jong. Ik wie djip oanmoedige troch de reaksjes fan alle dy't it lêze en myn gebed hat west dat de Hear soe helpe ús om tinke mear biblically oer houlik. As jo ​​net krije om te lêzen dat oarspronklike post check it út hjir: Wêrom Haw ik Skriuw dy yn foar Married So Jong?

Goed nei safolle minsken berikte út om my en fertelde my hoe't helpful it wie foar harren, Ik tocht dat it soe krekt as helpful te lit myn frou, jessica, beäntwurdzje deselde fraach út har perspektyf. Sa hjir is it. Wat makke myn frou beslute om troude sa jong? Se seit ...

1. I found a godly man

Doe't ik earst moete Trip, Ik wie net fan doel om op trouwe anytime gau. Mar út 'e tige earst we gongen út, Ik wist der wie wat oars oer him. Hy wie hertstochtlike oer it evangeelje yn in manier dat ik hie nea sjoen foardat yn in jonge myn leeftyd. Ik ek nea moete immen mei sa'n wiis perspektyf op datearring. Mei tank oan syn mabal foardat kolleezje hy wist krekt wat er tocht in goddelike relaasje moatte útsjen en hy wie net ree om te kompromissen dat.

Ik wol tajaan, dat ik it dreech mei dit earst. It like te serieuze en oermjittich. Mar oer tiid de Heare begûn te lit my de wiisheid yn in relaasje verzadigd mei mienskip, seksuele EN emosjonele suverheid, en datearret foar it doel fan it houlik. As jo ​​binne net ree om te wurde troud, dan har nei alle gedachten net in goed idee om engage elk oaren herten. Yn Song fan Salomo wy binne warskôge net to wekker leafde foar syn tiid. as froulju, wy binne tige emosjonele wêzens en sa as ik mei in man dy't wie hertstochtlike oer it fieren fan ús relaasje yn in manier dat soe guard myn hert, Ik wist ik fûn in doelferdigener :)

2. We were encouraged by the people in our lives

Yn ús ferkearing wy frege bepaalde minsken wurde yntime kennis belutsen yn ús relaasje. Se soe hâld ús ferantwurding oan ús grinzen en helpe ús meitsje wize besluten oer ús relaasje. Wy Ek gie troch premarital begelieding foardat wy sels rekke dwaande. Dy twa dingen tastien foar ús te sykjen de wiisheid fan âldere, wizer bruorren en susters oer wol of net it wie in goed idee om get married. God hat jûn ús predikanten en mentors fan ús pleatslike tsjerke foar in reden. Se helpe ús tinke troch ús besluten wiis en jou in goddelike bûten perspektyf. Relationships that are conducted in isolation are putting couples at serious risk of sin and unwise decision making. I would really encourage dating couples to have other believers from your community intimately involved in their relationship.

3. The Lord showed me the beauty of marriage

As freshman yn kolleezje ik hie wat ik graach belje Superwoman Syndrome. Ik wie tige ûnôfhinklike en karriêre dreaun, tige tsjinoerstelde oan it idee fan noaten in man. Ik tink net dat der neat mis mei it ûnôfhinklike of karriêre Driven, mar yn myn hert wie it mear as dat. Ik wie forachte Gods ûntwerp foar manlju en froulju. Ik soe hawwe nea sein dat út lûd, mar as ik wie earlik, Ik wie frustrearre mei wat ik tocht dat de Bibel moast sizze oer froulju. Wy binne swakker, wy kinne net leare, wy kinne net liede, wy binne net de kop fan 'e húshâlding, en myn tige favoryt, wy binne oan in sêfte en stille geast. Ik tocht ik hie wat mar in sêfte en stille geast en ik wie net ynteressearre yn wikseljende myn persoanlikheid. Alle fan dizze tinzen late my te tinken dat houlik wie wat, dat soe hâld my werom. It soe hâld my, achter it hiele karriêre dreamen Ik hie en wat dei Ik soe einigje mei 10 and half babies on a farm somewhere.

gelokkich, oer de jierren de Heare hat leard my en liet my wat it echt liket te wêzen in goddelike frou. Wurdt in goddelike frou is net definiearre troch wat jo dogge of net dwaan. Ik wit genôch fan fromme froulju dy't trou tsjinje de Heare yn in corporate baan en ûntelbere froulju dy't tsjinje harren bern en mannen trou thús. Biblical womanhood is about understanding God’s unique role for us as women and delighting in the beauty of Gods design.

As in troude frou Ik haw leard sa folle oer wat it betsjut om in goddelike froulju en ik net fiele chained del troch myn man of myn houlik. Gods ûntwerp foar houlik is foar ús goede en syn gloarje. Witten en it leauwen dat joech my de selsfertrouwen om trouwe op de leeftyd fan 22. Twa en heal jier letter, Ik ha gjin spyt, en ik kin allinne bid dat de Hear giet om seinigje ús houlik.



  1. Jdharden1Antwurdzje

    Dat is bjusterbaarlik, how God can write the most perfect love story to those who hand over the pen to him. Thank you Jessica, Ik echt nedich dit. This encourages me as a 16yr old to submit to God and let him have his way in my love life. God segent dy.

  2. Jannon FitzpatrickAntwurdzje

    I LOVE THIS!! We are youth pastors at a small church and I always tell the teens, “There are only two things you will ever do in a relationship… 1) Get Married 2) Break up. Breaking up hurts and creates baggage, so if you are not ready to get married, it’s best not to start in a relationship.” (Not that you don’t grow to be ready for marriage in a relationship, but I’m mostly talking to 13-16 yr olds.) Most people start a relationship thinking it will be a small, shortlived, fun thing. But then feelings develop, you fall into sin, and then it’s harder than ever to get out. If we would protect the heart God Gave us as precious, and go at relationships from this perspective, the perspective of it ending up in marriage to a Godly man or woman, we would be far less hurt and broken by the time that Godly man or woman God has for us comes around! Tankewol foar it dielen!!!

  3. Demonslayer4god777Antwurdzje

    I’m really glad I clicked on the link to read this post. ik bin 25 and my husband and I have been married for nearly 5 jier. No, I am the first to tell everybody that God is the reason we are married. Like you, by 21, I was NOT looking for nor did I want a husband, shoot I didn’t want a boyfriend. 2007 was the year God completely changed my life. In January I had just discovered what God really wanted was relationship rather than religion so I was on high(spiritually) and zeal like nothing I had ever experienced before. Next thing I know a month later I was married. Crazy I know. But what can I sayGod told us to do it. And five years later, we are still together, and growing together in Christ. No, I wouldn’t advise to anyone to do it as rapidly as we did. But I wouldn’t advise against it, if you feel led by God, and have prayed and fast. I pray that God continues to not only grow your marriage but strengthen it. I pray that your love for each other also continues to grow. I bind up anything, anyperson, any spirit, that would try to divide you. I pray that you are blessed with great communication skills, and increased patience. May God keep you, in Jesus name.

  4. Matt NovakAntwurdzje

    Thanks guys for using your courtship and marriage as an example and encouragement for young singles and young married couples. Thanks for glorifying God with your marriage, and sharing your wisdom and experiences with the body of Christ, which is in fact the bride of Christ, so this also gives us a portrait of how we are to live as the bride of Christ. Praise God for the work he has done in your lives to mature you both at such a young age.

  5. Ariep17Antwurdzje

    Wow this was really great! as 20 y.o. ppl look at me like im insane for having the desire to get married. I would love to see some expansion on what you mean byemotionally pure.I love the trasparency also in what you said. God bless yall

    • Philipns2 5 11Antwurdzje

      yn prinsipe, when she saysemotionally pureshe’s talking more about not already in your mind trying to marry the guy or think that you areexclusivelyhis just because you’re dating. That can lead to other sinful thoughts like, “sexual fantasies, lust,ensfh” You realize you’re emotionally impure when your vision of that other person’s character is so clouded that you make the relationship an idol in your own mind. That’s why Proverbs 4:23 is so important to live by,especially as a woman because we are, like was mentioned, “emotionalcreatures.

  6. Kerai RiddleAntwurdzje

    ik hâld hjir fan!!!!!!!!! Sometimes you seem to forget that youre not the only one because so many around you mostly peers seem to think yourjumping the gunso many people to me that i wasnt ready and im too young, but i truly believe this is what god had in store for me. I was scared out of my mind the day after because not only did i get married early at the age of 18 i also married a man i knew less than a year and he was only 19. We had a instant connection like our souls were destined to be together, i love him more now than i ever have hes my partner for life and i wouldnt change it for anything. We prayed together and went to church together got married and had a child together now here we are..It will be 3 years in february and i still have no regrets that i made this move :-) god has blessed me with a good man.. My vows mean the world to me and i wouldnt break them.. Thanks for posting this keep it up i love young loveYou hardly ever see couples last til death but i strive to be that couple til death do we part divorce is not an option!!

  7. Adrienne KellyAntwurdzje

    God bless you two. He surely will because you trusted Him and His divine plan for the male/female relationship and came into covenant agreement that you would honor Him and each other for life. I’m so proud.

  8. Louib2001Antwurdzje

    Loovje de Heare foar jimme broer en dyn leaflike frou fan dyn jeugd. Ik bid, dat de Heare sil pour genede kontinu yn jimme libben, om't jimme hawwe harke syn wurd. ik bin 28 en binne troud no hast twa jier en myn wiif en ik haw in lokkich houlik en in leaflike 10 moth âlde poppe. Ik altyd woe krije troud jongere, mar ik leau it wie net hast tiid noch foar my, oant de Heare brocht myn goede ding hast 5 jierren lyn (om krekt te wêzen wy moete op de dei we krige e nij berne 31 dec 2006). Ik wist net wy wêr't ornearre te wêzen inoar as ik naam har as in gewoane suster út tsjerke. Ik waard ek konsintrearje op myn geastlike groei, mar trije jier lyn myn eagen iepen en de rest as se sizze is skiednis.

    It is in satan syn aginda foar minsken net te troud, sadat se libje yn sûnde en wy al witte wat der dien wurdt. Hawwe we sjoen nei de snelheid fan de skieding yn it lichem hjoed? Hoe oer bruorren en suster fornicating yn 'e tsjerke, fanwegen wat maatskippij dictates.

    As wy sjogge nei hoe't ús stêden wurde fol mei jeugd geweld hjoed, dogge wy nimme in momint om te tinken oan guon fan 'e woartel oarsaken? It momint man útwikseling fromme wearden foar circular ism alles dat foel útinoar. Ek kristlike âlden wurde nayf befoarderjen circular ism troch discouraging harren bern net te trouwe jonge (yn 'e âldens fan soarch fansels). De redenen binne ik quote”jo moatte krije in ûnderwiis, miskien as jo klear jimme masters en hawwe in fatsoenlike baan, dan begjinne te tinken oer houlik”. Dat lûd wiis docht it net ? Dus wat der bard as jo kristlike bern wurdt giet nei de universiteit en dan beweecht mei jongen / meisje freon waans itsij kristlik of net?

    Graach net helje my ferkeard(dat is krekt wat fan 'e dingen ik bin kommen oer), omdat de boppesteande útspraak jildt net foar alle. Underwiis is tige wichtich as men kriget kennis foar harren respektive berop sadat sy koenen wurkje en soargje foar harren takomst húshâldings etc, mar houlik wont stop ien út as opfolger yn wat ea gebiet yn it libben men kiest om te folgjen, as in kwestje fan feit in houlik yn it algemien befoarderet groei i.e grutte tsjinst, goede heath, rykdom en de list giet oan. Tink oan de twa wurdt ien flêsk en kin neisitte 10 000 wow, dat betsjut dat yn oerienstimming wat ea se freegje God trou sy sille attain, geweldich…..

    Yn nau ik soe graach foarstelle dat wy as kristenen begjinne ûnderrjocht ús bern op jonge leeftiid op it belang fan de earste libbene foar God en oard it belang fan it houlik( oan dyjingen dy't haw krigen de jefte) sadat se opgroeie te wollen behaagje God yn dit gebiet. Ien kear wer goed dien myn broer en nei al dy libje it wurd fan God. bliuw segene.

  9. Iwantstate01Antwurdzje

    jessica, could you share some of the practical things Trip did during your courtship to guard your heart EMOTIONALLY. I understand setting physical purity boundaries. But what did it look like practically in the emotional area?


  10. Katherine2cAntwurdzje

    I so NEEDED to read this!!! Dankewol!! I struggle with the things you once struggled with and I want to honor the Lord and my husband!!!! With that being said, I will continue to strive to be that P31 wife!!! Dankewol!!!

  11. ChosenVAntwurdzje

    I really thank God for your blog. After reading it for the 1st time I was wow’d at Gods work. Three months down the line I read this again and I’m still wow’d. I’m a 22 year old female and with marraigelooming”, your blog is trully inspirational. It is my prayer that my man be as God driven as Trip was in terms of fulfilling his role as a man in our relationship. May God bless you:-)

  12. ChelsterAntwurdzje

    At Man Up, LA, a couple months ago, Jess mentioned that Trip is hercovering,” and here she talked about how she used to be asuperwoman,” but came to learn what godly (submissive) femininity is supposed to look like.
    Can either or both of you speak a little more specifically on what you believe God’s idea is for men’s and women’s roles in a marriage? Y’all are a blessing!!

  13. Nicole-Rose MunhawaAntwurdzje

    I really think your story is wonderful. Both of you grasped the beauty of the gift of marriage and you’ve really inspired me. Congratulations on your marriage and I pray for outrageous love to be shared between you. So happy for you

  14. Godgiven51Antwurdzje

    Such a wise perspective,my wife and I have been married for 5 years and I am also in the Gospel hip hop field,its always awesome to have her in my corner praying when we travel,you wives play an important part in our lives,keep doing what ya doin sis!

  15. Iolene_BranchAntwurdzje

    I put myself on the journey to be a better woman of Christ at the beginning of 2011 and I must say I have come a very far ways and I am extremely proud of myself. During my journey God placed a blessed man in my path and reading this blog has definitely played its part as the last sign needed from my prayers.

    I also had no intentions of searching for a man to spend the rest of my life with at 20 jier âld, but here I am, and this blog is extremely encouraging. For me to stand beside him in all his endeavors and be the woman God created me to be and be by his side as God molds him to be the man he needs to be.

    Tank foar dit. I really do appreciate it :)

  16. Arnold MoforAntwurdzje

    Whao, Trip and Jessica! You actually do not know how far your lessons are reaching-I am in Cameroon. ik bin 25 yr-old and recently took a day in extended time with God to seek God concerning my future partner. Then I came up with a checklist/ Prayer points list of the kind of woman I want to date and eventually marry. Then a day later I met your blog. I think God is preparing me in special way. This is my Wife’s Checklist/ prayer points list:
    (grade 1-4)
    Devoted and growing Christian
    My suitable Helper
    Respects her parents, her family, the authority and me in my presence and absence
    Partners with me in my ministry
    Submissive in everything
    Has a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
    Shares similar thoughts, struggles, pains, no secrets
    Does not desire outer beauty-clothes, jewelry, hair styles
    Prudent and Generous
    Makes me desire to work extremely harder

  17. Angela JohnsonAntwurdzje

    What a Blessing You Both Are! Keep On Keeping On With HIM! You Won’t Go Wrong…..Ea! I got married young but without the wisdom of HIM and others who were led of The Spirit to encourage us to seek HIM first……I must say that anyone who chooses HIS Way will be positioning them selves to receive HIS Plan for them and not their plans for themselves which is Far Greater than Anything we could everthink offor ourselves….TRUST IN HIM!:) I am walking by Faith and not by Sight (2 corinthians 5:7) Or I would have killed my self……Without HIM I saw no good thing. Thank You LORD For Sending The Holy Spirit Who Comforts and Guides me. JESUS Is LORD! ( I am still married and we Both <3 The Lord!) Stay Blessed!:) Much <3 and Peace!:) Very Inspiring of you both to have posted, Thank You Very Much!:)

  18. aneetarhAntwurdzje

    thank u so much Jessica,dis is exactly wot i need right nw. God rilly bls u guys. I’m 21,in a godly relatnshp n my boyfriend wants us 2 get married ASAP. I wasn’t sure if it’s a gud idea cause i felt i wasn’t matured enuf bt i thank God 4 dis,if it’s God’s will den i totally subscribe 2 it

  19. RchllnndreherAntwurdzje

    WOW the reasons behind you getting marride are the same as mine were and what still make me believe I made the right choice I also felt God saying this is the one it is time to let go of the past only our pastor didnt approve which made it a hard choice in a way other than I was following God. Ik bin 22 and just got married 2 mo ago. It may be a short time but God is growing us together and teaching us so much(for me how to open up be soft and be a woman as God created me to be) It was awsome to read this and I want to thank you for taking the time to write it. May God Bless You and Your House!

  20. Rachel WrightAntwurdzje

    Ya’ll testimony is so awesome! It is is encouraging to hear that ya’ll were able to get married young. I myself am getting married this summer at the age of 21 and God has blessed us in so many ways and continues to amaze us and bless us! Thank you once again from both of you for these uplifting blogs!

  21. Dfletcher812Antwurdzje

    I Totally Agree. Krige ik troude op 'e âldens fan 18. Yes I was a baby but, the Lord spoke to me and told me not be afraid to take a leap of faith and being Obedient to the will of God i did. Now Im 24 with Three Kids and my Husband and I are very deep in ministry of music. God has done some impossible things in our lives and I love to hear that other young women and young men of God realize that God has given their soul mate to them and deiced to make the right decision.

    And we cant forget, Mary married Joseph at 14 years of age and Birthed Jesus, She was a virgin and pure in the sight of God. So Ladies and men stay pure for God until u marry!!!

  22. Grabiel RiveraAntwurdzje

    thats great the same has happened to me and my wife , i was 21 en hja wie 18. we let god direct us and be in our marriage and now he showing us his work in our lifes and in our marriage. may god keep blessing yah marriage like he has done in ours god bless

  23. Addis HunterAntwurdzje

    Thank you for your testimony, I can relate to you in many ways. I do have to admit that I struggle daily withhaving a gentle and quiet spiritpart of marrige..Like you, I was and still am very driven and independant , and acknowledging my husband as the head of household and submitting to his ideas (even when I dont agree) is my biggest challenge as a young wife. I ask God every day to help me humble myself and submitt to my husband in every way. Tige tank foar it dielen.

  24. Cy HudsonAntwurdzje

    You guys are such an incredible blessing to young believers! I love these two blogs and thank the LORD for all he has spoke to me through you two!

  25. Jennifer Ann SellerAntwurdzje

    21 jier âld, and I feel like you’re describing me. I definitely have that Superwoman Syndrome. Thank you so much for your inspiring testimony, it gives me hope :)

  26. PulemoliseAntwurdzje

    thnx alot Trip and Jessica,many adults nid 2 see dis,i m truly encouraged by you guys,I luv hw ur sides complement,-Trip met a godly woman and Jessica met a godly man,wow!(dats why u had 2 trouwe sille,lol!) nd we thnk God 4 u guys,u hv shown dat u can b responsible adults at a young age wen adults at an older age cant evn manage a fraction of wat u r doing,big-ups 2 u,nd may God continue 2 bles ur marriage more and more with each day dt comes

  27. simon paul -----ukAntwurdzje

    Thank u so much Jessica for such apowerful encouragement .Am 21 but i alwalys thought growing means focus on a relationship .Sorry to bother you, Does dating someone in a christian relationship meanyou have to marry that very person , though she has got all the intimacy ur looking for..n you dont wanna hurt person..cos she expects uto be her hubbyHow would u handle such a catastrophe?????thxx.

  28. KailaAntwurdzje

    I know this was written awhile ago and I finally got a chance to read it. Mar, I guess this was a good time for me to read it. Seems like God keeps putting little things around to tell me it’s time to put him back into things. And I think not only my relationship with my boyfriend is what’s needs Him back in it, but this shows that He can help smooth things out.

    I also found it interesting that I never thought of my mindset as the Superwomen Syndrome, but I can definitely can say I need help working on mine. That’s how my boyfriend describes me when I try to take on too much whether it be emotionally or work wise.

  29. ColtonAntwurdzje

    Hey Trip! I read both of these blogs, and they (along with the godly counsel of family and friends) have been immensely helpful to me in the past few months. I’ve met the girl that I know God has for me to marry, and we’re just waiting on his timing. It’s quite possible that we will end up married even before you were, or at least by then!

    What advice would you give to someone who is in every other way ready to marry, except for the ability to provide a home (because of attending college)?

    Thanks so much!